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Nicole Kidman's spokeswhore has confirmed that she's carrying. She said Nicole and Keith Urban are "thrilled." How her spokeswhore figured that out is beyond me. Nicole only has one expression. It's not her fault...it's the botox.

Nicole previously denied she was knocked up, but when she suddenly dropped out of her new film "The Reader" it became apparent she was with child.

I hope she has a boy. Suri Cruise needs a boyfriend. Can you imagine?! Congrats to the Ice Queen and the Frosty-Headed Prince!

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Thanks Missanonymous

Heidi Montag is showing off what money can buy in Februay's Maxim. Heidi looks like she was made out of old silicone taken from 20-year-old implants. She is not hot. I know straight dudes find her hot, but straights dudes also do sex with goats sometimes. Gay men prefer cucumbers. Well! Sometimes that's the only thing around.

Heidi also spoke to the magazine about her show. When asked how real "The Hills is, she said, "The Hills is a show that’s 22 minutes long about seven people’s lives. It’s edited for drama, and there are editors and story lines. If someone walks in front of the camera, we have to redo the shot. So it’s not exactly how things always are. It’s not like The Truman Show. They’re not with us all the time, although I wish they were, because it would be a way crazier show. Let’s see how Lauren would look then!"

And what does she think of Lauren? "She’s changed. Some people go more Hollywood than others. We’re from different backgrounds. She grew up in that spoiled Laguna world, and I grew up with humble beginnings. She’s very controlling. She was crazy about how much time I spent with Spencer, and I had to see her every day. I’ve heard from other people that she’s a big diva now. “Insiders” say."

Just STFU already! Go to the damn plastic surgeon again and have him sew your mouth shut permanently. Put it on my tab.

Well, that sucks. One of my favorite sleeping aids, The Golden Globes, has officially been cancelled from TV. The Screen Actors Guild refused to let their bitches cross picket lines. They will instead air an even more boring press conference on NBC News. Actually, maybe that would be a more effective sleep aid than the Golden Globe awards show itself. Sounds good.

You know I'm rather disappointed with the Hollywood Foreign Press for missing an opportunity. They could've made the Golden Globes entertaining without actors. I would've invited porn stars over to announce the winners. They could even keep the name! Porn stars would definitely cross picket lines. Well, you would have to put a dick on the other side, but they would totally do it.

Mary Carey announcing the nominees for Best Actress in a Drama would be genius.

Oh well! If they get Dr. Nancy Snyderman to announce the winners I'll totally watch it.

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Mariah Carey was asked if she'd ever duet with JLo and here's what she reportedly said:

"I'd rather be on stage with a pig — a duet with Jennifer Lopez and me just ain't going to happen."

I'd rather you be on stage with a pig too. I love family reunions! I mean Mimi sort of looks like a pig in a wig and when she screeches it sounds like a pig whining for his next meal. It would make more sense. Oh and a pig screeching still sounds better than JLo singing live. I agree with you Mimi!

Source: NewWeekly

It's Mr. Wise! During last night's "I Love New York 2" reunion Mr. Wise gave this fake ass monologue on how he didn't beat Tailor Made's ass, because he's honorable or something like that. The host of the reunion, LaLa, commended him, but bitch should've saved her words. Mr. Wise went flying through the air landing right on top of Tailor Made. Supathug! At first I thought it was Midget Mac, because it was like an eagle going after a mouse. Who knew Mr. Wise could get so light?

The reunion also restored my faith in true love. Tailor Made proposed to Tranny York and he-she accepted.

The Vh1 Blog has a great recap including Mister Patterson checking out Wolf's not-so-impressive dick.

Penny Cruz is one lucky lesbo. Javier Bardem is hotter than a cat's pussy on a blazing brick. Bitch knows it too. I usually call 911 when someone tries to dick slap me, but Javier could dick punch me. Here's Javier at the New York Film Critic's Circle Awards last night.