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It's time for another Vadge and Guy Ritchie are divorcing rumor! This time it's for real......possibly.......maybe.....well....according to The Sun. They have swore on a stack of hotel bibles that Vadge's spokeswhore already has the divorce statement in their hands, ready to be released. I hope it's nice and simple. Something like, "WE QUIT THIS BITCH!"

A source said that they are finally going public with their split because basically they can't fucking stand each other anymore. They fight about everything from adopting another baby to moving to New York to her dick being bigger than his.

Vadge, who is currently on her "Dry & Sour" tour, originally wanted to wait until next year when her tour ends. Her divorce to Guy has now been fast tracked to be finalized by Christmas. Merry Christmas! It also would have been their 8th wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary!

The loud mouth bitch who spilled the beans said that Guy stopped filming on "Sherlock Holmes" to fly to his parent's house and tell them about the divorce in person. This week he plans to move all his of his stupid shit out of Vadge's London dungeon and move into the house he owns in Wiltshire.

This past summer, Vadge and Guy denied the rumors that their marriage was crumbling into the toilet like a dehydrated butt nugget. Vadge also denied she was bumping roided-up buttholes with A-Rod.

Again, we've heard this shit all before, so take this with a grain of ass dust. It wouldn't be shocking if it turned out to be true. It sounds like they lost that lovin' feeling a long ass time ago. It was probably around the same time that Vadge's buff bagina swallowed Guy's nutsack whole. Guy keeps stroking that area, hoping they will grow back. Sorry, Guy, they're never coming back. They're gone, just like your marriage.

Visit The Sun to read all the details if you give an eff.

You might want to turn down the brightness on your monitor before going through these pictures of Xtina at the Africa Rising Festival in London tonight. I am pleased to see that her face is back to being completely covered in MAC semen. Sometimes looking natural is so overrated. With that face full of drag paint, I'm sure Xtina constantly gets random dudes asking her if she would tea-bag them for $10. I bet that doesn't happen to you. Don't be jealous.

Xtina's "Barbie Make Me Pretty" face isn't the problem with this look, it's that fucking top! That thing is giving me crazy eyes! It's like looking at Lady Ga Ga through a kaleidoscope. Shit like that belongs in the "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" stage show and nowhere else.

Pamela Anderson is off in England pimping out her boring ass reality show "Girl On The Loose" aka "Loosey Goosey" and she was asked how she feels about one of the UK's biggest famewhores Katie Price.

Pammy tells The Sun, "I have no idea how she became famous. She shows off her kids all the time in TV shows - that's beyond low. I’d never do that. Kids can’t make that decision at that age, can they?"

This is coming from a ho whose kids can open up their lap tops, type in a few words and see their mother and father doing gross shit on the internets. I'm going to side with Katie on this one. If she didn't whore out her kids on TV, we'd never see Harvey's precious face. That would be just wrong. I mean, we'd never have amazing and magical moments like this one (yes, I'm posting it again):

My arch rival CHERYL BURKE did something new with her mop head for her 70s themed dance with Maurice Green on "Dancing with the Has-Beens" last night. The bitch can tease, AquaNet or fry that shit, it's still a mop head underneath! Even Maurice is looking at her like, "Damn. I want to mop my bathroom floor with this ho's head."

CHERYL BURKE'S fried mop head kind of gross me out, because you know that's what her natural chocha weeds look like.

Unfortunately, I think Cheryl and her electrocuted mop head are going to stay tonight. I think Smirnoff Ice and Rocco are going to dance their asses off this shit show tonight. Rocco dances the way I used to when I was trying to act straight in the 6th grade (HA!). Rocco's extremely gay on the inside and trying so hard not to be. You can tell he felt extra fancy in that blouse he was wearing last night. I screamed at the TV, "Dance, girl! Dance your homo heart out!" But Rocco didn't hear me, because he was still as stiff as an erect 8-inch dick. Clip below (skip to 2:45):

The Shannon Sisters are the newest members of Hugh Hefner's team of whores and last night they enjoyed just one of the perks of sucking on silly putty dick by attending some fashion show. I'm trying hard to like these twin sluts, but they're making it hard.

This is the best look they could put together?

They look like two day-shift hookers who just emerged from a bush, where they were hiding from the cops. Those weaves probably came directly from Holly Madison's trash can after being ran over by a semi-truck. The Shannon Sisters just brushed them off a bit and then attached that shit to their heads using Scotch tape.

I'd never say this shit to their faces though, because they'd hit me over the head with a bottle and jump me.

Now that the New Kids on the Block have reunited and are on tour, it's time for some 90s bitches to get in on the action. Ace of Base has announced that they will put out a new album next year, along with a compilation of their greatest hits and a world tour. YES! I was an underground Ace of Base lover back in the day. I would lock myself in my room and play their shit along with La Bouche.

Now if only GAK will make a comeback. The things I could do with that shit now. Okay, enough gutter talk. Back to Swedish pop talk.

Above is a re-working of one of Ace of Base's earlier tracks called "Whee of Fortune." I lasted about 20 seconds before I turned it off and went to search my iTunes for their older crap. All That She Wants was the shit! You know, if she wanted another baby so bad, why didn't she just use in vitro or adopt?

VIA Idolator

A bowl of cold oatmeal on the cover of Vogue - Popsugar

Sophie Monk with big panties on her head (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Anna Paquin doing sexy times with a 120-year-old hot vampire - IDLYITW

Kelly Brook is not a Fat Pig - Egotastic!

Jessica Simpson is a wreck - Just Jared

Ceiling Eyes goes skinny dipping - Hollywood Tuna

Holly Madison bowls for boobs - Hollywood Rag

New stills from "Milk" - Towleroad

Sharon Stone's confusing camel toe. Ew - Cityrag

Posh doing her best Audrey Hepburn and failing - Lainey Gossip

When you used to be a child star and you no longer can get any roles and you've maxed out your reality show quota, the next thing for you to do is write a tell-all on how fucked up your life was when you were a kid. That's what Marcia Brady has done! Maureen McCormick is whoring out her new book "Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice" and in it, she covers all the bases. Who knew being a Brady was so much fun?

Here's some of the things Maureen fesses up to:

She had a coke and ludes addiction
She fucked for drugs
She dated Steve Martin and Jacko
She almost lost her cherry to Barry Williams
She had full on drug binges at the Playboy Mansion
She had two abortions
She battled bulimia

And more!

Maureen said she believes she was so messed up, because of Syphilis. Yes, Syphilis. She went on "Today" this morning and said the disease caused her grandmother to die inside of a mental hospital. A week later her grandfather killed himself. After that, her mother got Syphilis.

Okay, maybe being a Brady isn't so fun after all..... She blames Syphilis, but I blame the fact that she touched tongues with Jacko. That will eff a bitch up.

Don Cheadle is a lovely man and skilled thespian. I thoroughly enjoyed his work as Ice Tray in "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air." That being said, he is not worthy enough to replace Terrence Howard in "Iron Man 2." That's because, nobody is worthy enough. You just can't replace The Howard.

According to The Hollywood Reporter (via CS), Don will play Col. James/War Machine opposite Robert Downey Jr. in the sequel. Terry Howard had the role in the first movie, but a deal couldn't be reached. A source said it was over "over financial differences, among other reasons."

You know what the "among other reasons" is. BABY WIPES! It's a deal breaker for Terry, remember? He probably wanted it in his contract that all females on the set must be "baby wipes fresh" at all times when he is around. The producers should have given him whatever he wanted, because that shit show is going to tank without him. By "tank" I mean it's going to make a gazillion dollars. That's okay, Terry still has music career. Elevators will always need music.

For a quick second, I really thought this was HoHan, but then I noticed that she's not the perfect shade of colonic fluid, so it couldn't be her. It's 95-year-old Dyan Cannon! Okay, she's really 71, but she's been around forever. I think she was in one of the first talkies.

I fucking love her. She had waffle hair way before HoHan or Vadge.

Here's a few more of HoHan's younger sister being hot at The Ivy yesterday.