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BABIES!!! BABIES!!! Amy Poehler and Will Arnett have added yet another member to the trillion strong child army that will soon take over this planet and make us all their slaves. But that's besides the point!

TMZ reports that Amy popped out a baby boy today. This means she can't show up to work tonight on "SNL" tonight and Seth Meyers will have to do Weekend Update solo. Lazy ass Amy! She should just bring her new baby with her. I'm sure he can already tell jokes, deliver punchlines and rap. Shit. I'm sure the Arnett baby has already signed a comedy deal at NBC. His half-hour comedy show will debut in the Spring.

Unfortunately, we don't know a baby name, but I hope they name him Gob in honor of "Arrested Development." Or they should name him Lucille Bluth. One of those.

UPDATE: And his name is.....ARCHIE ARNETT! I guess Amy gave birth to a clumsy comic book character. His first words are probably going to be "Golly Gee!" The name works for me, but we'll call him GOB for short. I mean, it would be illegal not to call him GOB. Hopefully, she'll have another boy sometime soon and they can name him Jughead!

Amy and Will's rep confirmed their baby's name to People. Their rep also said that AA weighed in at 8 lbs., 1 oz.

HOLD UP! I just remembered something. David Archuleta, the annoying baby chipmunk with constant jogger's voice from "American Idol," is nicknamed Archie. Ugh. Maybe that wasn't the best choice of name after all.....

My extreme hate for CROCS knows no bounds, so when these evil things were brought to my attention, my eyeballs immediately queefed. I just had to share my pain with you.

I thought regular CROCS were something awful, but this fuggery is on a whole different level. I don't know how long they've been making CROCS Winter boots, but production must be stopped immediately! I don't give an eff if they feel like thousands of fluffy Persian kittens cuddling at your legs. They look like dried vomit chunks on a log made out of pink diarrhea. These things don't belong in stores or on feet. They belong locked away in the depths of Hell. Wait....I just realized how I'm going to spend eternity. Fuck.

When I finally meet my maker, Satan, and he opens the door to the suite where my soul will rest forever, the room will be covered in CROCS from top to bottom. Then I'm going to glance over and see an autographed picture of my arch rival CHERL BURKE in a CROCS frame, sitting on a CROCS table, next time to my CROCS bed.

Speaking of Mop Head, here she is in front of her beautiful blue house in Los Angeles yesterday.

It's about that time when we check with the tortured creature known as Daisy Simpson. Yup, she still has "end my misery" written in her eyes. Daisy probably spends more of her day putting her paws together and praying to the gods that Ken Paves turns her into one of his raggedy weaves already.

Daisy, just remember that if that big-tittied frog becomes too much to handle, there's always the "bite the bagina" option. I've posted this hot shit video before, but it's been making the rounds again and Daisy needs to study it for possible future reference. "He jump on my bagina because he get so crazeee!" I need that on my tombstone.

When I was a little baby, my mommy took a picture of my naked ass sitting on chair, eating a carrot (that explains it). Luckily, I was fat as fuck when I was a baby, so my gut hung over my private areas. This picture still haunts me to this very day. Well, it's a good thing my mommy isn't Diddy, because then she would've put my naked shit in the pages of L'Uomo Vogue!

In the October issue, Diddy dressed his twin girls, D’Lila Star and Jesse James, in bow ties and then plopped their bare asses on a fur throw for a totally classy photo shoot! It looks like Hef's twins have some competition!

Methinks Diddy's ego has completely devoured his brains and he doesn't know the difference between right and wrong anymore. Because this mess obviously belongs in the latter. I hope he at least bought them diamond rattles or some shit.

Last month, Amy Wino kind of, sort of, maybe punched a dancer bitch in the eye at a charity concert. It was a misunderstanding really. The dancer bitch obviously didn't understand this is the Crackie of Camden's way of saying "Please, Miss. Give me some space." Instead of just walking it off and eating a cookie, the dancer bitch called the police and reported it. Tattle-taler!

The police scheduled an appointment with Wino to come on down to the station for some tea and biscuits, so that they could talk about this little incident like well-behaved adults. Well, guess what happened? She showed up! Yeah, right. I'm just having a laugh. Of course, Wino didn't show up! Because of this, the police are threatening to go down to her crack kingdom and arrest her ass.

A friend of Wino's told The Sun, "She’s doing so many drugs she is completely out of it. It’s hardly surprising she missed the interview."

The cops fucking needs to lock themselves up for being dumb enough to think that Wino would actually show up to an appointment. If they want The Wino, they have to get creative. These buffoons should leave a trail of crack pebbles from her house to the station. Or they should send crack smoke signals from the station.

That said, they are wasting their time! The Wino is above the law!!

Julie Masking -The other day I was doing "research" (don't judge) on female masks and came across this stunning beauty. Julie has tons of YouTubes of her posing in her mask. I spent a while watching and re-watching all of them. I can't take my eyes off of her. I don't know whether to curl up underneath my sofa or laugh hysterically until I vomit. Click here for all her videos.

Julie still looks more human than Jocelyn Wildenstein. Shit. She almost looks more real than Nicole Kidman.

Marion Ross (80)
Marion Ross' wig (35)
Ciara (23)
Katy Perry (24)
Josh Henderson (27)
Pedro Martinez (37)
Adam Goldberg (38)
Adam Pascal (38)
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Helen Reddy (67)
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