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Matthew McConaughey is at the beach....and he's wearing a shit (typo, but it stays). How is this even possible? I would think that the sea breezes would blow that shirt right off of his body. And if that didn't happen, the seagulls would tear it off him. This shit just looks so unnatural and wrong.

If I saw a laughing MiserAlba riding on a flying Spaghetti Cat through a rainbow coming out of Tommy Girl's ass, I wouldn't even blink an eye. Now that I've seen McConaughey wearing a shirt at the beach, anything is possible.

Below is McConaughey proving the impossible at the beach with his dog friend. I also added some pictures of Pamela Anderson wearing her signature loony bin scrubs for all the dirty snatch lovers out there.

Below is a video of a bunch of furry pussies playing in a laundry basket. Below that are some pictures of Kim KardASSIAN and her HoneyBaked hams on the beach in Miami with one of her sisters and that Kristin bitch from "Laguna Beach."

So which group of pussies are worthy of your attention? I don't think I even need to ask. I'm going to go ahead and declare a landslide winner: KITTENS WIN!

SCORE: Kittens = 1 , Celebwhores = 0

Sasha Fierce pounced into "SNL" last night to perform that "Singles Ladies (Put A Cock Ring On It)" song and she looked like a greedy, high-powered 80s businesswoman who was too busy worrying about an upcoming corporate takeover to realize that she forgot to wear the bottom part of her Claude Montana suit.

Sasha Fierce is also not going to be happy to learn that her dancers were fucking taking the shine off of her and I don't mean that in a good way. I couldn't take my eyes off of the blondie dancer who looked like she was freshly plucked out from her day job as sweater folder at J.Crew and thrown on stage with Sasha Fierce.

Sasha needs to replace those tricks with this bitch below. I've shown this shit before, but it's time for an encore! Actually, Sasha would never share a stage with homegirl right here, because the lights would immediately go out and all spotlights would shine on him. I'm having a hard time calling Beyonce Sasha Fierce, because this is the real Sasha Fierce right here. Who's going to let Beyonce know that the spirit of Sasha Fierce has bounced out of her body and shimmied into the glittery hole of this hot piece?

BONUS! - Click here to see Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg tuck their junk into leotards for a skit with Beyonce. Justin sucks at playing queeny, but the douche has legs.

BONUS, PART II! - Click here to see Sasha Fierce perform "If I Were A Boy." Those titties were aching to free themselves from that tape and jump out of that dress. Sasha wouldn't have noticed because she was too busy exuding raw emotion into her performance. I also love the fan towards the end of her performance. I wish it would have blown her ass right off the stage.

A fur-hating crazy bitch dropped a flour bomb all over HoHan in Paris on Friday night (click here for video) and SamRo has come to her lezzie lover's defense. SamRo put on her nut stompin' combat boots, rolled up her flannel shirt and blogged about the whole thing. SamRo loves fur! This is sort of breaking news, because does this mean that HoHan is growing out her busted Sphynx kitty?

Here's some of the shit SamRo wrote. This is the Cliff Notes version, but you can click here to read the whole post:

PETA should focus their efforts on educating people on what they believe are injustices instead of seeking press via harassing those in the limelight. I received an apology too many days late from the PETA folks (the blog removal was too little too late) and today I'm pissed at the bag of flour thrown on Lindsay last night. Not because I got powdered down, but because the girl who threw it acted like an animal herself. I take that back, it's an insult to animals to group her in with them, my dog is FAR more civilized than that person. I would have more respect for them if they didn't use other people to get their point across. Lindsay, Mary Kate, Ashley Olsen, Anna Wintour and the rest of the targeted celebrities aren't the problem, I'm pretty sure they're not the only ones wearing fur, in fact, they should be appreciated by PETA for giving them a target. If it weren't for them, who would get them press????? (MK Note: Peta just spontaneously combusted)

I know I'm probably going to get a lot of angry emails in response, but I don't really care. I got enough last week for no reason so I'm more than happy to ignore the nastiness after seeing what I saw last night. I'm not about to throw on a fur coat in retaliation, but had I had one within reach, I'm not sure I would have walked away from it.

p.s. when was the last time you saw an animal attack one of its own in defense of a human? hmmmmm..... that's one to grow on!

p.s.s. i think there are plenty of families that could have used that flour for a meal. nice job, lady.

You know that night she totally threw a "fur coat" on her tongue! And she loooooved, looooved it!

P.S. - For SamRo's information, my pooch has been known to bite at another dog for giving me the side-eye. Okay, it's never really another dog, but one of his stuffed toys. And they usually don't give me shade, they just lay there and my dog likes to bite at them. But still! That counts.

P.P.S. - It's not like the crazy bitch threw a Duncan Hines cake mix, with 2 cups of water and 2 eggs on HoHan. It was just fucking flour! And now I really want some cake.

Here's HoHan and SamRo doing stuff in Paris. HoHan is missing something in these pictures. Missing a big load of white flour on her head!

I never really thought about if Wanda Sykes likes to suck on the peen or the clitty, but now that she's declared her gayelleness, everything makes sense now. I had one of those "now that you mention it...." moments.

Anygayelle, raise your strap-ons and rejoice through the aisles of Home Depot, Wanda Sykes is a big ole' lezzie! You can call her Wanda Dykes from now on! Sorry, it was the first thing I thought of. Yes, I'm eternally 12. Just like Mimi!

At the Las Vegas Prop 8 Really yesterday, Wanda shouted to the audinece, "I LOVE LICKIN' THE LABIA AND PROUD OF IT!" No, she really said, "You know, I don't really talk about my sexual orientation. I didn't feel like I had to. I was just living my life, not necessarily in the closet, but I was living my life. Everybody that knows me personally they know I'm gay. But that's the way people should be able to live their lives."

When Prop 8 passed in California, Wanda felt like she was attacked and so she's speaking out about her life now. "Now, I gotta get in their face. I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman, and I'm proud to be gay." She forgot the "proud to be a funny person" part, because she stills makes me laugh until my peen hole queefs.

Wanda married her wife on October 25th. She was married to a dude back in the old days, but they divorced in 1998.

Go Wanda! I just want to give her a big lesbian hug (it involves lots of titties rubbing together)!

It's your turn, Mah Boo Anderson Cooper. Now, I don't mean he needs to come out as a big shiny homo. But it's about times he figures out that I'm alive, declares his undying love for me and promises to make me his child bride (I am younger than him).

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Toby the scooting dog from the Stanley Steemer commercials! Watch below to see Toby's new trick!

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