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The airbrushing fairies were once again hard at work on this promo for Brit Brit's new album "Circus." I don't think they even take pictures of Brit Brit anymore. They just have the CGI nerds come up with something, then they Photoshop the hell out of that shit, dust it with a little pork rind dust and voila! And is Brit wearing dog poo gloves?

I would've given this shit four Frapps if she was throwing sparkly Cheeto dust in the air instead of that green shit. That green dust is probably what comes out of her weave when she gets a blow out.

Since we're on the subject of my favorite Cheetoling, below is another promo from that "On The Record" documentary thing she did for MTV. This is my favorite quote: "People think that you go through something in life and you need to go to therapy. For me art is therapy, because it's like you're expressing yourself in such a spiritual way." ART?! Has Brit been toking again?

The hot piece that became a YouTube star by showing up Beyonce was on "The Bonnie Hunt Show" this morning. Beyonce probably offered to come on her show, but Bonnie said, "Hell naw! I want the real Sasha Fierce!" And that's what she got. Unfortunately, Shane Mercado didn't wear that sexy one piece number. It's daytime TV, I guess he had to keep it PG. He should have at least ripped off to reveal some cyborg nipple tassels or something. Beyonce has the cyborg glove, Sasha Fierce should have cyborg nipple tassels.

I can't embed the video, so click here to see Sasha Fierce in all her glory. You might want to put on some sunglasses when you watch this shit. It's full of glitter and I wouldn't want you to get any in your fragile eyes.

Thanks Robyn

A little old lady got a huge shock when she took a painting to be appraised on PBS' "Antiques Roadshow" in Palm Springs, CA. The memaw was given a 1937 painting by artist Clyfford Still as a housewarming gift by a friend almost 50 years ago. The friend was a student of Still's. Well, the painting turned out to be the best fucking housewarming gift ever, because it was appraised at $500,000!!! Memaw won the lottery! You know she did the Cabbage Patch when she found out.

The painting is the most expensive piece every appraised on the American version of the show.

Alasdair Nichol, the dude who appraised it, said it could be worth a lot more. Recently, a painting Still created 10 years later was sold at auction for $21 million. Oh hell no. I'm going to go through my mom's garage, rent a U-Haul and take everything down to the "Antiques Roadshow" to get appraised. My old ass Snoopy Sno-Cone machine has to be worth something.

The show's producer told The NY Post, "Clearly, the woman who brought this to us knew she had something special. She just didn't know how special it was."

That memaw better have called up the damn A-Team when she was told how much that shit is worth. Thieves were probably waiting to pounce on it! Damn. If I was there, I'd leave a trail of caramel squares from the venue to my car trunk. You know that memaw would fall for it! Then I'd snatch that treasure out of her hands and drive off! Well, she'd have a bunch of caramel squares and memaws love those things!

The $500,000 episode will air on PBS in January.

Which sexy singer, who pretends to be whiter than snow, was caught holding hands with another man? It will be the end of the married babe once her fella finds out. (3am Girls)

Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta? Or Mimi? Or Beyonce?

This aging, but not old, former B list television actress from a very hit television show and sometime film actress from some very forgettable films is someone with B+ name recognition and a career that has had lots of stops and starts. One thing has been holding her back for years. She thought she found a way to solve the problem but it didn't work. She has always had an alcohol problem but now she has discovered a new best friend called meth. Her habit has got so bad that she cannot always wait for her dealer to come to her. Several times she has had to actually go out in her very conspicuous car and go make buys herself. (CDAN)

Betty White how could you?! My other guesses are Courtney Cox, Shannen Doherty (say it ain't so!) or Kristin Davis?

Guess which childhood star who is currently pregnant needs to be a bit more careful about what she injests? During a recent premiere, sources claim the actress was "totally high on something" and looked like a "junky". It gets worse. An INO reader claims the actress "could hardly keep her eyes open" when greeting the crowd. How very sad indeed! (I'm Not Obsessed)

How rude! Jody Sweetin? Although, I don't know if she's knocked up again. I'll guess Lisa Simpson?

Which celebrity is publically photographed hanging all over her boyfriend, but is secretly seeing others on the side? Being part of a celebrity couple doubles her exposure, so she likes being photographed with and being interviewed about her current beau. The truth is that, despite her very public declarations of love, their relationship is not going well, so she flees into the arms of old boyfriends on a regular basis. One of them has nicknamed her “Tweety” because she Twitters him constantly during the day. (Blind Gossip)

Duh. Wonky McValtrex? And they should call her Twatty not Tweety.

Which young actress is heading off to rehab for the first time? This one will come as a surprise to many, because unlike others of her generation, she does not have a reputation for being a party girl. However, her addiction to prescription drugs has escalated beyond control. She has disappeared for days at a time, returned home with mysterious bruises, and bailed from auditions and meetings at the last minute. She finally and reluctantly agreed to go to rehab when she was caught stealing a prescription pad from her doctor’s office. (Blind Gossip)

Little Jenny from "Gossip Girl??

There was a show back in the day called "Are You Hot?", which was basically "American Idol" for stupid sexy people. Rachel Hunter and the Empress of Lucite's ex-husband Lorenzo Lamas were judges. Sometimes the show had really hot people, but mostly it was a bunch of delusion fools who believed it when their parents told them they were gorgeous. Kim from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" falls into the latter category.

Bitch was on the second episode of this shit show back in 2003 when she was 24! Seriously, she's 24 here! 24 and she still has hair made from the reject wig pile at the Mattel factory. Was she born with fake hair made of coughed up hairballs? Someone needs to find pictures of her as a child, because I will call it a fucking day if she wore a polyester mop on her head when she was a little girl.

Surprisingly, Kim got a unanimous NOT HOT from the judges. I've never wanted to clap for Lorenzo Lamas before in my life, but I have to give him a standing O for that shit. Below is the clip, but there's no time on it, so you have to FF through it if you really care. Watch Kim's hot dreams get crushed around halfway through it.

There are times when I'm laying on the couch, watching TV and I suddenly get the craving for something delicious, greasy and cheesy. I'm pretty much a lazy motherfucker, so instead of getting my ass up and using the phone or computer to order something to eat, I'll just eat my saliva and go without. Well, Domino's and Tivo have the answer to all my problems!

They are teaming up to allow lazy bitches like myself to order pizza through your Tivo! While you're fast forwarding through a Domino's commercial, an ad will pop up asking you if you'd like to order a pizza. You will most likely say "yes," which will direct you to a Domino's menu.

Now, there's a little problem. How is the pizza man going to get in? I guess I can become friendly with him and give him a key. That way I really don't even have to get up....EVER! I can even give him $1 to Fabreeze my ass down every now and again. Speaking of asses, how will I take care of that issue? I guess I'll just cross that shitty bridge when I get to it.

Now if Domino's could deliver one of (NSFW) these pizzas I'd really be fucking set for life!

Source VIA Gawker (Image of Banksy's Village Pet Store exhibit VIA Flickr)

Birthday: I'm guessing he's a Scorpio.
Age: ?
Birth Name: Champ? I've known 3 Golden Retrievers named Champ!

Original Date of HS of the Day: November 16, 2008
Claim to Fame: Toby is best known for his amazing scooting skills in the Stanley Steemer commercial.

Where is he now? Hopefully he's at the vet getting his ass looked at for worms.

Why is he HS of the Week? I feel like Toby is part of my fucking family. I watch TV all day and his commercial comes on at least half a dozen times. Every time the boy says "Check out Toby's new trick," I stop what I'm doing, watch, laugh and think to myself, "That Toby!" Each time. Commercial below:

OMG. I really, really, really need to find a way to join Prince Hot Ginge's regiment - Towleroad

Alien Princess RiRi humping on a car in her new video - Just Jared

Jessica Simpson is right where she belongs - IDLYITW

Chris Klein is looking like the creepy high school janitor who child touches on the side - Lainey Gossip

Breaking! Mimi goes to the beach and doesn't wear a bikini! - Popsugar

ScarJo and her titty balls in Allure - Egotastic!

Angie Jo wears pissed on dresses - Hollywood Rag

Chloe Sevigny in a bikini (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Jessica Simpson's puffy butt lips are back - Hollywood Tuna

The new Coney Island is really gross - Cityrag

SPOILER ALERT! There were a few rumors going around that Brenda Walsh would take her last breath on an upcoming episode of "90210," but I don't believe those lies. Brenda Walsh can never die. It says so in the bible. It also says this in the dictionary. Look up the word impossible and the definition is: Brenda Walsh dying.

According to OK! Magazine, Brenda comes back to town in tonight's episode and tells that dumb bitch Kelly Taylor that she slept with her man! Brenda also ends up in the hospital, because of fertility issues or some shit. She finds out that she can't have kids. Like Brenda was going to have any! She's a woman of the world! She doesn't have time to deal with brats! And she's going to live forever, so she doesn't have to worry about another ho continuing her legacy. She can do that herself.

I'm hoping that while Brenda's in the hospital, the surgeons can go in and see what's going on with her heart area. I mean, they need to check if she has one, because she's been kind of uncharacteristically nice to Kelly Taylor. Brenda shouldn't have one of those heart things. Yeah, she did Kelly's man, but that's not enough! She should have kept fucking him until Kelly was completely destroyed. Kelly deserves to cry in her eyes for what she did to Brenda.

Here's that dumb bitch Kelly thinking she's Grace Kelly with her husband at the "Twilight" premiere last night.

I was going through pictures from the Sydney premiere of "Australia" and my mouse immediately skipped over to this beauty and clicked download. It knows what I like, because this stunning creature just made my fucking day!

Her name is Maria Venuti and according to her bio she "is a vivacious personality - and one of great natural warmth and exuberance. Combined with a dynamic singing voice – these traits have made her career as a performer, actor and entertainer highly successful. As one of this country’s leading performers, Maria has played in every major cabaret venue around Australia, New Zealand, the Far East, Japan as well as entertaining our ‘boys’ in the Sinai Desert."

I'm in love. She has everything I look for in a glamorous beauty: serious eyebrow game, butt cleavage and hair that has seen the inside of a Fry Daddy. Yes, I know her make-up looks like it was done by a group of slow clowns while they all jumped on a trampoline together, but the end result is beautiful. She's one to watch.

On the other side of the coin, Hugh Jackman's tragic wife showed up to the premiere looking like a low-rent vintage Phyllis Diller impersonator. She's no Maria Venuti.