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Natalie Dylan, the chick auctioning off her cherry to the highest bidder, was on The Ty Ty Show today with one of her potential v-card takers. Natalie's virginity auction is being run by the fat Mr. Clean-looking dude who owns The Bunny Ranch. He said they have received over 5,000 bids ranging from $1 million to $3.8 million, including bids from a rock star and famous actor. I bet the "famous actor" is James Woods. Ew. You know he's into that shit.

Natalie, who wants to be a sex therapist when she grows up, tried to sound all smart and shit during the interview, saying the auction only started out as a "theoretical study" but now she wants to capitalize on selling her virginity. Study my dick hole. This bitch wants to get paid and there's nothing wrong with that, but let's not make this shit all serious. She's whoring herself out. Plain and simple.

59-year-old Lee, one of the bidders, said he's never been with a virgin before and wants to know what it's like. You know, Lee is exactly what I picture when thinking of a dude who will bid on this kind of shit. He looks like his hands are always clammy and suffers from a serious case of Halitosis in his mouth and asshole.

That said, for a $1 million, I'd stick a maraschino cherry up my no-no hole and let Lee fish it out with his Mr. Burns-like bony fingers. I'd even let him keep the stem.

P.S. - Airforce Amy (the blonde prosty in the clip above) is the greatest American who ever lived.

Birthday: August 11, 1954
Age: 54
Birth Name: David Ian Jackson

Original Date of HS of the Day: November 1, 2008
Claim to Fame: Joe is a singer, songwriter and skin bleach lover who had a few hit songs in the late 70s through mid-80s.

Where is he now? Probably in Jacko's dermatologist's waiting room. Joe currently lives in Berlin and writes music. He's also an activist! He campaigned against the smoking bans in NYC and the UK. When NYC banned smoking in 2003, he moved to Germany. Bitch loves his fags.

Why is he HS of the Week? Mainly because if he never existed, this magical moment would have never been captured:

(Thanks to Dan for the video)

Kate Winslet looks like some kind of Catherine Deneuve/lion/alien hybrid on the cover of Vanity Fair. What's with all these magazines turning bitches into praying mantis aliens for their covers? Don't get me wrong, I'd still brush Kate's lion mane and prance around in her shoes, but this shit looks nothing like her ass.

Speaking of naked ass Kate Winslet, Halle Berry had this to say about her in Esquire (via P6): "Kate Winslet is always naked, sitting on a toilet, running buck-naked. She's free. I want to be the kind of actress who can really be comfortable with my body like that"

Thanks for that visual, Halle. Now when I look at this cover, I'm picturing Kate sitting on a toilet, with a coat around her shoulders, looking regal while pushing out a perfectly airbrushed butt nugget.

Obama's memaw, Madelyn Dunham, died today in Hawaii after a battle with cancer. Obama's family issued this statement: "She was the cornerstone of our family, and a woman of extraordinary accomplishment, strength, and humility. She was the person who encouraged and allowed us to take chances. She was proud of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren and left this world with the knowledge that her impact on all of us was meaningful and enduring. Our debt to her is beyond measure."

Just a day before the election...... Sadness.

Source

The poorest-looking rich person in Hollywood won some dumb lawsuit brought against him by a money-hungry pap who sued him for $704, 974. Alison Silva sued Keanu Reeves because while he was taking pictures of his homeless ass last March, he was hit by his Porsche. Alison claims his wrist is permanently fucked up and he couldn't work for a while.

During the four day long trial, the jurors heard Alison totally mess up his testimony by giving contradictory statements. Jurors were also shown a video of Alison using his effed up hand to climb a wire fence to get pictures of Our Lady of Cheetos. Keanu denied he hit Alison and said the pap was injured by tripping over his own feet while walking backwards. HA! Stupid pappie!

The jury was unanimous and it look them less than a day to decide.

If I was a juror on this extremely important case, I would only have two questions! #1: Why does the pap have a girly name? I bet his brothers are named Barbara and Karen. His sisters are John and Brian. #2: What does Keanu's beard have against him? It doesn't want to grow right! He obviously needs to be nicer to it.

The producers of the "Bachelor and Bachelorette" should really change the name of the show to "My Future Fake Ex." Another arranged couple has busted up. DeAnna Pappas confirms to InTouch that her contract with her "Bachlorette" pick Jesse Csincsak is up and they have moved on.

DeAnna memorized a bunch of words that were written for her and repeated them to InTouch, "I really felt like I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. I thought he was my fairy-tale ending. But after the show was over and we settled in to our normal lives, I slowly came to realize that we are two totally different people and it wasn't going to work out.

DeAnna is donating her engagement ring to charity, but is not giving up on finding another I still believe in love. More than anything, I want to find someone I can spend the rest of my life with."

Does this mean ABC is going to give this microwaved rutabaga another reality show?! Watching her on TV was like witnessing a snail taking a nap in slow motion. ABC should just air that instead. It's cheaper and filled with more meaning.

After, DeAnna "broke" the OMGSHOCKINGCRAZYINSANEWHAT news to InTouch, Jesse posted this award-winning performance on his YouTube account, explaining the break-up. Jesse digs down and really brings out that raw emotion in his performance. He even said that DeAnna told him "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." They are so fucking deep.

Airbrushed during a wind storm! Saint Angelina on Harper's Bazaar - Lainey Gossip

This witch is the reason why people x-ray their Halloween candy - Towleroad

Hayden Panatroll shows off her pecs - Hollywood Tuna

Pixie Geldof looks like hell (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Halle Berry or Foxy Brown? - Popsugar

Jessica Biel's worst regret should be hooking up with Timberdouche - Egotastic!

Hilary Duff as a fat Saint Angie Jo - Just Jared

Carmen Electra still exists - Hollywood Rag

Mary Carey's smuggling giant baby heads - Cityrag

Kate Beckinsale as Little Red Ridinghood with a creepy wolf head - IDLYITW

Maniacal Vadgeholics will stop at nothing to defend their gristle goddess. The other day, Guy Ritchie was getting drunk at his pub when some insane Vadge fan cursed at him and spilled his booze on the innocent. Well, that dude is completely sane in the brains compared to this 16-year-old crazed Vadgeholic who broke onto the "Sherlock Holmes" set and threatened to cut up Guy!

The Mirror reports that a teenager dressed in all black got onto the set and ran towards Guy with a knife while shouting, “I’m Madonna’s biggest fan! I’m gonna kill Guy!"

A source said, “The bloke was screaming about Guy and shouting, ‘I love Madonna’. It was terrifying. At first it seemed like a sick joke but it was soon obvious the knifeman was not messing around. Luckily there were four security guards and two policemen who were able to overpower him.”

I'll bet it was scary. Hearing anybody proclaim that they "love Madonna" is pretty fucking terrifying.

And you thought video games were making our kids violent today. Vadge is the problem and I completely understand why. Spending hours upon hours staring at her hulk crotch can't be good for your mental health.

In some ways, though, Guy brought this upon himself. I mean, he did put her in "Swept Away." This is his punishment.

Spaghetti Cat is finally getting the kind of attention he deserves! Last night on "Desperate Housewives," Edie Britt sort-of mentioned the worldwide superstar! I had to rewind that shit to make sure I heard correctly. Hopefully, that was only just the beginning and Spaghetti Cat is getting ready to make a cameo as Mrs. McCluskey's cat's half-brother who is coming to seek revenge!

Besides Spaghetti Cat's mention, you know what else happened last night? NOTHING! I shouldn't say that. Lily Tomlin was on that shit. Those were the only reason two reasons to watch: Spaghetti Cat and Lily Tomlin! The producers should make them regulars.

When the biggest skeezer in the entire universe, Wonky McValtrex, first meets a dude, instead of shaking his hand, she shakes his dick....with her pussy. This is why the skank shouldn't be surprised that humans with peens only see her as a jizz bank and an ATM.

Wonky cried fake tears out of her one good eye and told the News of the World: “Every other guy I’ve been out with has used me for money or sex - but in most cases they just want fame. It made it hard to trust people. After a while I had to start questioning exactly why somebody wanted to be with me."

The sad part is that she's barely even good for sex! I've seen her sex tape and the bitch lays there like a salamander on Ambien.

Wonky is barely figuring out what we've all known for years. When a dude has you listed as "cum bag" in his cell phone, maybe you should pry open your wonk eye with your skank hand and get a clue.