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Mah Boo Anderson Cooper confessed his love for "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" while talking to Ellen today. This is just reason #4,568 on why Mah Boo and I should wed immediately. NeNe can be my maid of honor and Kim's wig can be our flower girl.

In the clip above (skip to 2:30), Mah Boo tells Ellen, "I like to keep abreast of the Real Housewives of Atlanta." More like apeen.

Mah Booh also doesn't understand why Ellen isn't obsessed with the raggedy peaches of Georgia. He asks her, "What have you been doing? So you don’t know anything about NeNe?" And then he goes on to purr, "Oh, honey, I don't even know where to begin with NeNe!"

Before I take my last breath and skedaddle off to inner circles of hell, I want Mah Boo to say to me, "Oh, honey! I don't even know where to begin with NeNe!" Only then will I be at peace! But he needs to learn how to pronounce NeNe's name correctly first. I'll personally teach him......while his "NeNe" is up my no-no. I don't really know what that means exactly, but it sounds sexy.

Prince Hot Ginge visited the HM Naval Base in Plymouth, England today wearing a uniform I did not sign off on. I don't understand this thing he's wearing. It's so baggy! How is he supposed to serve his country with so many clothes on? It should be tighter and lower cut. Actually, he should lose the top part completely. It will give him more freedom when steering stuff or whatever it is the hell he does.

You know, he might as well be naked. Yeah, that sounds like the best idea. All that fabric is completely unnecessary! And his hotness can blind the enemy.

The boots and the hat can stay, though. He needs the hat to protect his luminous mop of flames.

It's voting day for some of us, so since you're a pro at it already, you might as well vote for something else. And this shit is important, so take it seriously! There's only 3 spots left in determining Hot Slut of the Year, so don't fuck around! Here are your choices:

Chantal Biya - The most beautiful first lady in the world!
Miss Clara Meadmore - The 105-year-old virgin!
Norwood Young - L.A. mess and owner of the gayest house in America!
Julie Masking - Miss Fire Island 1997 and nightmare inducer!

Unfortunately, I can't give you a free coffee, a scoop of ice cream, a vibrator or a donut for voting. But if you see me on the street and I'm drunk, stop me and I'll give you a complimentary wet raspberry!

Vote in the sidebar to the right. The winning slut will be announced on Thursday!

Back in August, when Jemaine Clement got married to some floozy out of nowhere, I was completely shocked! And now here's another vag slap to the face. Jemaine and his new wife Miranda Manasiadis welcomed the fifty gazillionth member of the neverending child army.

Jemaine and that woman gave birth to a boy last month in NYC while he was filming the second season of "Flight of the Conchords."

They named him Sophocles Iraia Manasiadis Clement. Sophocles is the name of Miranda's Greek pepaw and Iraia is the name of one of Jemaine's grandparents.

You know, Jemaine could have named his son PoopyFace Chickpea and I still would love the name. Besides, they can call him Phockey for short.

And Asshole Simpson and Pete Wentz better cross the name Sophocles off their list of available celebrity baby names. You know that name is their top pick.

Source

Douche extraordinaire Diddy voted for Obama in NYC today and while slithering out of the polling place, he told the Associated Press:

"I felt like my vote was the vote that put him into office. It was down to one vote, and that was going to be my vote. And that may not be true, but that's how much power it felt like I had."

Okay, maybe Carrie Underwears is right....

And if Obama wins, his first order of business should be appointing Diddy Speaker of the Douchehouse. I mean, he owes him.

Thanks Heather

Carrie Underwears thinks all celebwhores should keep their mouth holes closed when it comes to publicly endorsing a presidential candidate. I'm sure Oprah is going to lose a lot of sleep over this.

In the new issue of TV Guide, Carrie said, "There is someone I do support, but I don't support publicly. I lose all respect for celebrities when they back a candidate. It's saying that the American public isn't smart enough to make their own decisions. I would never want anybody to vote for anything or anybody just because I told them to. Music is where you go to get away from all the BS. Whether it's from politics or just the world around you, music should be an escape."

Celebwhores have the right to endorse whoever the fuck they want. Carrie also has the right to tell them to shut the fuck up. Just like I have the right to tell her to shut the fuck up. And you have the right to tell me shut me to shut the fuck up. See how that works?

That said, I'm about to go vote, so does anybody know who La Pequena and Rojo Caliente are publicly endorsing?

VIA Just Jared

Who needs lunch? The Jackass dudes are naked. And Chris Pontius should really get that dead, limp worm he's holding checked out by a medical professional (NSFL) - OMG Blog

Whore, white and blue - Hollywood Tuna

Cristiano Ronaldo has juicy pits - Towleroad

Mischa Barton forgot that Halloween is over (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Bond in Berlin - Lainey Gossip

There's nothing natural about Pamela Anderson - Hollywood Rag

Heidi Klum strips down to her panties for Guitar Hero - Egotastic!

Vida Guerra's ass is eating her bikini - IDLYITW

Clooney and Ritchie on a sexy coffee date in Italy - Popsugar

Pope Diddy and Cassie might be doing it - Just Jared

Donuts! Donuts! Donuts! - Cityrag

Before all this election crap, what did the babbling hens on "The View" bitch about? And when it's all over, what the hell are they going to queef about next? Knowing Hasselcrack, she'll just giving bringing up the same shit as she always does. I must say that when she opens her pie hole, I start to smile, because I know the wolves will devour her.

The election is almost over, but it was fighting as usual on today's show. It started how it always starts. Hasselcrack goes caca from her mouth and then the other three tag team her until Whoop goes to commercial and the argument abruptly ends.

Today, they argued about Palin, Ayers, Wright, blah...blah.. blah... It erupted with all of them yelling at Hasselcrack, which sounds like a bunch of squealing pigs fighting over the last chunky butt pebble.

They really need a kindergarten teacher to come in and teach them how to let everyone have their turn when speaking. Fuck. They should pull the rod out of Hasselcrack's ass and use that as a talking stick!

Above is a shorter clip from today's crap and click here to see the longer part.

Which popular male singer is hiding a hairy secret? His dandruff has got so bad, his flunkies are having to go out and buy him industrial strength supplies of special shampoo. (3am Girls)

George Michael, but that's not dandruff.... It could also be Robbie Williams?

Which presenter has requested a lock on his dressing room door so that runners stop walking in on him having sexy time with a string of ladies... (3am Girls)

Sexy time! Russell Brand?

Which sexy starlet keeps blabbing that she can’t stand her faux boyfriend? The producers of her hit show hooked the young couple up as a publicity stunt, but she says that every time she has to smooch him in front of the paparazzi, it’s like “Frenching a lizard.” (Full Disclosure)

Blake Lively and Penn Badgley? He looks like a Monchhichi, so it's a little funny that he tongue kisses like a lizard.

This B list actor used to be an A list action hero. He was at a costume party with a date that everyone assumed to be his girlfriend. The girlfriend is somewhat, but not overly famous. However, since the date was wearing a mask of Sue Storm from Fantastic Four, no one was actually be sure if it was his girlfriend. Throughout the night the pair spent more and more time groping and kissing in a corner and on a couch, and less and less time mingling. It was during one of these makeout groping sessions later in the evening that the mask slipped off the date’s face and it was discovered our action star’s date was actually another guy. (CDAN via Blind Gossip)

Vin Diesel?

(Thanks to Friedpeanuts for the pic)

The Mac Dude and fauxmosexual Tila Tequila were caught doing nasty things together at some club in Los Angeles. Some nosy person with a strong gag reflex told Page Six that the Mac Dude "asked her to straddle him while making out. Eww." I love that the nosy person said "Ewww." Only Blair Waldorf would say that shit.

The Mac Dude and Tila have also been seen together at LAX and a club in Las Vegas.

This dude is throwing me off. First, he was getting it on with Drew Barrymore, then he was slapping flour sacks with Kiki Dunst and now Tila?! The fuck? I would expect him to go from Kiki to Mischa Barton and then to the homeless hipster on the corner. But Tila?!

And what happened to Tila and Nay Nay?! Although, Nay Nay sort of looks like the Mac Dude.....if he got hit by a semi-truck, dragged four miles and then thrown into the sewer. Don't know who Nay Nay is? Google her, you dumb fuck!