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Hot damn! Brit Brit is back in the bayou! Brit Brit, SPF, JJ and Daddy Master Spears left Van Nuys at around 10:30 this morning on a private flying trailer bound for Kentwood, Louisiana. This is the first time since KFed got full custody that she's been allowed to take her lil' Cheetolets out of the state.

It's also the first time the boys have been to the Spears' hillbilly compound called "Serenity." Those pieces of trash would name their house thinking that makes them classy and shit! We all should name our apartments, houses, trailers, shelter bed or cardboard boxes. I think I'll name my apartment "Les Lucité" after my lord and savior The Empress of Lucite. When you name your shit, make sure you add an "é" somewhere in there to make it sound extra fancy.

A source tells OK!, that her royal Cheetoness is in Kentwood to lay around, snack on some vittles, shoot Shasta cans, chase roadkill and just relax before she has to start promoting her new album. Brit Brit also wants her boys to spend more quality time with their first cousin Maddie. Brit Brit and Jamie Lynn better keep a close eye on them, because you know how those hillbillies are!

The Taronga Zoo in Australia got themselves a brand new baby pygmy hippo named Monifa and I guess it's like a big deal, because reporters and shit were on hand to document her cuteness. I did get a little "awww" in my throat when watching Monifa lick the zookeeper's hand. But what if you're sitting there, thinking it's so adorable that Monifa is licking on your hand with her silly tongue and then all of a sudden she gets the "instinct" in her and bites your fingers off. Then you have no fucking fingers!

When you go to shake someone's hand and suddenly remember that you have to use the other one because you have no fingers, you'll think of how you fell for Monifa's cuteness! When you're driving down the street with your hook hand and its shininess reflects off the sun and temporarily blinds you, causing you to crash into a tree, you'll think of Monifa.

That said, can we get a live feed of Monifa the pygmy hippo! I want to see her adorably lick fingers and possibly bite them! And speaking of live feeds, it's time to check up on the PUPPIES!!! I have been treating this live feed like its my fucking newborn baby. I check up on the puppies like a million times a day. This morning, the mommy was with her puppies. I got so excited that I clapped. Seriously. Clapped by my fucking self. I really need to look into getting one of those things called "a life." But then when would I have time to look at the PUPPIES!!!!!

It's that time of day where we look at pictures of Stepford Katie and Suri walking up and down the streets while the pappies take their picture. I bet they stroll down to the corner, stroll back to their apartment, go upstairs, Suri meets with her styling team, Katie recharges her batteries and then they do it all again. Suri better make "Employee of the Year," because she works hard for that barley.

Suri is glad it's Friday, because she was so excited today. She even showed off her karate bot kick. If only Tommy Girl was standing next to her. She would've kicked him in the snatch since they're basically the same height.

Somebody's got to pay Blaaaake's £30,000 rehab bill and it's not going to be the government or the Crackie of Camden. Blaaake is currently trying to get the drug demon ripped from his body (True Blood shot out!), but he's going to have to find another way to pay for it.

A friend of Wino's told The Sun that she's pissed off because Blaaake never told her he was getting out of the chokey. She found out from the neighborhood drug dealers who were screaming in excitement. No, she found out from reporters.

The friend said, “Blake thought he would click his fingers and she’d stump up the 30 grand. But so far she has refused. He’s not happy.”

Wino's famewhore daddy, Mitch, said that she hasn't seen her husband in a long ass time and she really doesn't care. Mitch did a tap dance number and then said, “Blake is a no-hoper. I want Amy to forget about him. The best thing that could possibly happen is for them to go their separate ways.”

Fuck Blaaake! Why would Wino waste her cash on hist stupid rehab program when she can spend it on ice pops and crack! And what the hell kind of rehab costs that much? The trailer witch (second True Blood shout out!) will fix him up for $799!

Here's Wino looking like a couture model on the Paris runways while walking around her neighborhood with her roly poly daddy.

Brad Pitt grew a horizontal landing strip for that "Inglourious Basterds" movie and it makes him look exactly like my elementary school music teacher. I hated that cunt.

Every Monday, we would get on the music bus and practice our instruments. I played the clarinet. One day, my music teacher told me to stop playing in front of the whole class. Actually, he screamed it like the supreme asshole he was. Then he shouted at me, "I bet you can't even blow your nose right. You're awful!" I left the bus and never went back. If only he could see my blowing skills now! That dumb bitch! Anyway, it's hard for me to look at these pictures of Maddox's daddy in NYC without thinking of that fugly ass music teacher!

In other holy family news, Brad was a guest on "The God Show (aka Oprah)" on Wednesday (it airs Nov. 18). According to TheseBootsAreMadeForStalking, during the interview, Oprah told Brad that Saint Angelina is the "love of his life." Oprah then asked if this is the happiest he's ever been. He said, "Dare I say." Oprah replied, "Dare I see."

DARE I GROSS! I would've shaved off my precious eyebrows if he said "no." And if he said "no," we would've all gone deaf from the powerful screams coming out of Jennifer Aniston's mouth.

Kate Moss is looking like a hot piece of trash in coochie cutters - Popsugar

One of the Olsen trolls "getting lunch" (aka sitting at a table and smoking) - Just Jared

Um...Marisa Miller forgot to wear clothes - Egotastic!

Carrot Top DOES NOT belong on this list - Cityrag

How can Holly Madison get with a d-bag that wears his watch over his jacket? - Hollywood Tuna

Bedtime stories with John Barrowman - Towleroad

Cover it up, Panatroll! - Lainey Gossip

The Soup Nazi does parties (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Katy Perry's boobs have eyes - Popoholic

Mischa Barton dresses like shit - IDLYITW

Megan Fox is demanding - Hollywood Rag

Courtney Love is the reason why Prop 8 passed! Or "soemthin." In a friends-only blog, confusing Court sounds like she's happy about the ban on gay marriage. But she's obviously just confused about the confusing Prop 8.

blown away
Current mood: bouncy

That prop 8 passsed! motherfuckers! who voted against it!
it was confusing language in malibu there were kids reminding us to vote yes thatthe language was conbfusing and people were votingno when they meant yes or soemthin

And now I'm confused! Oh, Court. Pill-popping and blogging is a skill that requires hours upon hours of practice before you're ready to actually hit the "publish" button.

Court's "current mood" explains the entire post for me. I usually feel bouncy in the head too after chasing a few old Darvocet pills with a Smirnoff Ice and vodka.

Seriously, I think a lot of bitches were confused. I heard that some bitches voted for it thinking they were voting yes on gay marriage. Oops....

Here's a screenshot of Court's confusing entry.

VIA Huffington Post

Thanks Ol' N

Yes, that's the Mighty O using a Port-A-Potty for the very first time after Barack Obama's speech on Tuesday night in Chicago! Oprah later said that she really had no choice, "In all these years at every event, I've said, 'No, I'm not going to do the Port-A-Potty' but I said I better use it."

I'm sure Oprah's Port-A-Potty visit was very different than ours. She probably had the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition crew venture inside, renovate it, spray it down with eucalyptus and install a Bose sound system where sounds of the rainforest played on a loop. After she was done going tinkle, one of her maids came in, spritzed her "vajayjay" with Voss water and then dried it with organic cashmere. Once she left, her handlers burned it down in case anyone tried to sell Oprah's pee pee water on eBay.

I know I'm alone when I say that I don't really mind Port-A-Potties. They are good for other things besides the obvious. Sometimes they can be your home away from home. It's a quiet place to read a book or eat a meal without fat hogs staring at your food. If you ever need a quick fuck and your roommate is home or the gas station bathroom is busy, there's always the Port-A-Potty!

Visit Gavin's Blog to see more pictures and a video of this momentous occasion!

Princess RiRi was doing her alien act on stage in Australia with Chris Brown when she started to feel gross. RiRi tried to keep that shit together but ended up stumbling off stage where she apparently passed out! I hope they put a mattress down so she didn't ruin her glorious tenhead. The paramedics were called to work on RiRi and it's not known what caused her to feel all fainty. It was probably her body telling her that its sick of hearing that damn "Umbrella" song!

Everyone rub your foreheads and chant for Alien Princess RiRi's speedy recovery!

VIA Just Jared

I just need to spray his shit down with some Raid, pour some bleach powder on that cracksore, duct tape a dental dam over it, form a prayer circle around him and then go to fucking town! Yes, I'd still rub my no-no parts all over Dreamboat Doherty's nuclear war zone face. I'd gaze into his beautiful crack eyes and lick his fresh-out-of-the-butt corn teeth. I am not ashamed to admit it even if it lands me on the CDC's "one to watch" list.

Here's Dreamy going to some gig in Camden last night. He takes his laptop everywhere, because it reminds him of me. No, he's probably taking it to his dealer to see how many grams he can get for it.