Archives

Meet fembot Aiko and her creator Le Trung of Ontario, Canada. Le spent over $20,000 of his own cash to build his idea of the perfect woman. No, he didn't build a clone of The Empress of Lucite. Strange, right?

Anyway, Aiko is in her 20s and her measurements are 32, 23, 33. She can do simple cleaning chores, balance his checkbook and can speak 13,000 different sentences in both English and Japanese.

Tommy Girl better update Stepford Katie's system, because I doubt she can do all that.

Aiko also responds to touch. But if you grab her robo-titties, she'll slap you in slow mo and say, "I do not like it when you touch my breasts!"

That's pretty funny, because that's exactly what Tommy tells Katie when she tries to grab one of his moobs.

Le Trung can't do sexy times with Aiko, but he could redesign her software so that she can act like she's having an orgasm. Okay, Tommy Girl doesn't need that update for Katie.

Seriously, I'm all for finding love wherever you can get it, but robot love is not my thing. I even fell strange playing with Tickle Me Elmo. I expect that bitch to come alive and kick me in the teeth for tickling him too much. Robots are creepy and cannot be trusted. One day Le Trun is going to grab Aiko's micro-nips and she's going to do more than slap his face.

Source VIA HuffPo

(Thanks Mark)

Tommy Girl was in Toronto promoting that soon-to-be epic flop Valkyrie and he seems to have lost the device he uses to control Stepford Katie's hard drive: his Blackberry. Tommy did an interview with Entertainment Tonight Canada and shortly after he fluttered off, his slaves called to see if he had left it. Shinan Govani, a columnist for the National Post, said, "A search was done, but, nada. So, basically, someone in Toronto has Top Gun's crackberry."

Crackberry? That's exactly what happened. Tommy probably sat on it and his hungry hole swallowed it up in one gulp. Tommy's wondering why his ass is quivering so much lately. He figured Xenu was just flirting with him again.

VIA Page Six

This performer is going to take some time off from work next year, claiming that the time is right for her to start a family. She says that she is very excited about having a baby and that it will a brand new experience for her. Well, that just isn’t true. Few outside her family knows that she already has a child. She got pregnant and gave birth when she was a teenager. Because it was thought that having a child would ruin her image and career, the baby was very quietly passed off to a relative to raise as their own. The child has no idea that the celeb is actually their mother, and the celebrity and her family are determined to keep it that way. (Blind Gossip)

Miss Jackson if you're nasty?!

Which hot young (underage) Hollywood up-and-comer is being supplied birth control
by her parents? This was only after a recent "scare" occurred. (Socialite Life)

They all need to be put on birth control! Actually, fix 'em all! But my guess is Little Jenny? She's trouble!

Which TV actor secretly gets very friendly with the same sex, despite a slew of female exes? (Gatecrasher)

There's not much to work with here. Spaghetti Cat?!

This A list actor on a very hit network comedy show has been telling anyone who will listen about all the holiday giving he has been doing and how he has adopted several families in the LA area to give them a Christmas since they cannot afford one on their own. He talks about how he has been buying gifts and is going to be bringing the a holiday meal and it goes on and on and on. He isn't doing anything like that at all. He just likes that it makes him looks good. When his publicist found about the ruse, she decided to find an actual family and make good on at least some of the crap her client was spinning. When she approached the client about visiting the family she found, he declined saying he didn't have the time but autographed a couple of DVD's from his television show for them instead. (CDAN)

Spaghetti Cat again! Or Charlie Sheen? Denise Richards better dig shit up!

This celebrity wants everyone to know everything about how perfect her life is, and how you can be just like her. We know she is currently lying about two things. The first lie she tells is about food. She says that she grocery shops and spends time in the kitchen cooking every meal for herself and her family. So not true. A quote from a recent member of her household staff : “She wouldn’t know where anything was kept in the kitchen unless it fell off the shelf and hit her in the head.” The second lie she tells is about her marriage. It’s not happy. It’s over. Expect them to remain a pretend couple while the attorneys hammer out a divorce agreement. The offiical split will happen early next year. (Blind Gossip)

One word: GOOP

I see what's going on here and I'm not about it. Lisa Ling is trying to get a little sugar from Mah Boo. Yeah, I know she's married to some hot doctor-type, but no one can resists the charms of the Silver Fox! Wait. If I put on a black wig and a black dress, I might be able to pass as Lisa Ling. Then Mah Boo will finally grant me a hug instead of sending security after me!!

Anyway, here's that dreamwrecker Lisa Ling trying to get on Mah Boo at some CNN even last night. I also threw in a picture of Lisa with the beautiful and talented Cindy Adams! Peta is going to get shit for mistaking her wig for a dead animal and throwing flour all over her face. That was wrong of them.

SPOILER ALERT! Lauri Waring bid farewell to The Real Housewives of Orange County on last night's episode because the bright lights were melting her face. No. Lauri's son was sentenced to 8-months in the clink for being a heroin-head, so she wants to spend all her time with her family. The shitty thing is that Lauri didn't have a proper goodbye. I was hoping they'd have a dinner where all the housewives would start fighting, but that didn't happen. During her final segment, they did show some hot pictures of Lauri back in the day. My mom had like ten million of those heirloom chokers from Charlotte Russe.

Lauri used to sort-of look like Laura Dern but now she looks like a microwaved Madame with too much bootleg botox in her face. Anyway, I'll miss that Shrinky Dink face.

While I enjoyed seeing Vicki's menopausal crotch attack Tamra's husband on a boat last night, the housewives needed to fight more. They almost never bitch each other out! Are they afraid that if they get too angry their implants will pop? Or their botoxed faces will explode? I need a cougar fight!

In other sad OC Housewives news, you might have heard but Gretchen's sugar daddy passed away back in September. He died before they could get married. Battle for the will!

Below is Lauri's goodbye filled with botoxed tears:

Celine Dion looks like she's going to vag-fart those chonies right off! - Hollywood Tuna

Angie Jo is eating yams, because she wants more babies - IDLYITW

Jessica Simpson & Ken Paves eat out. The visuals from that sentence have ruined my day - Just Jared

Hilary Duff is a titty cutter. Ha. (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

The newest Bond girl forgot to wear clothes - Egotastic!

Angie and Clint are totally doing it - Lainey Gossip

Pamela Anderson has never looked better - Hollywood Rag

Tommy Girl with a lightsaber - Cityrag

Larva with lipstick - Towleroad

JON HAMM!!!.....and some other people too - Popsugar

Crazy Carrie Fisher makes me wish that reading books didn't give me the runs most of the time, because I really want to read Wishful Drinking after seeing her interview with Matt Lauer on Today this morning. Carrie covered all our favorite morning topics from her bipolar disorder to Cary Grant telling her to stop eating acid to how her husband left her for another dude to electroshock therapy. I only wish Debbie Reynolds was interviewing her instead. How I wish I was a bottle of vodka at their Christmas dinner. It's probably fucking nuts!

During her interview, Carrie probably thought she was having an acid flashback when Matt suddenly turned into a gigantic dirty dildo. Naw, Carrie. It wasn't a flashback. Most of us see him that way.

Below is the second part of her interview with Al Roker. It seems that somewhere in between the first and second interview, she lost her legs. She haz no legs! And you know there's a dozen hickeys underneath that scarf.

This is the part of the day where we watch a kitten playing with broccoli. The white cat on the futon is thinking, "That pussy needs help."

Broccoli Kitten has my vote as the opening act on Spaghetti Cat's world tour.

VIA ICanHasCheezeburger

Thanks Hanna

I'm thisclose to pulling a Crissy Crocker and posting a YouTube demanding that everyone leave NeNe Leakes alone! NeNe was reportedly kicked out of her home after she couldn't afford to pay rent. She later said it was all just a misunderstanding and her family chose to leave on their own. MyFox Atlanta couldn't leave it at that and they dug up the actual eviction documents! The eviction was later dropped, because they reached some kind of agreement. NeNe still had to shuffle out of her home because she couldn't afford that bitch anymore.

MyFox Atlanta went even further by investigating NeNe's husband's business. Nene's Bravo bio says that Greg Leakes is a successful real estate investor. Well, according to MyFox he's only successful at not paying his taxes. He owes over $100,000 in back taxes. They also spoke to a few of Greg's tenants who said he sucks and they never see him when they have complaints.

NeNe and Greg issued a statement saying they never claimed to be rich, but they do live a comfortable life.

This shit makes me want to close my eyes, cover my ears and sing "I say I'm tweeenty niiineeee...but I'm reaaaally eighty niiiinnnee." NeNe is a gift to reality TV and I don't care if she's broke like a Davis brother. It doesn't matter to me. The only thing that matters to me is that she's back for season 2 so that she can finally slap that yard sale wig off of Kim's head.

Click here to see the whole expose! I love the word expose. Try and use it in a sentence today.

There's going to be a big possum cookout in the Spears family backyard today because Brit Brit has the #1 album in the country! Daddy Spears is probably dancing around in his wife beater and singing, "Slap me wif a ho'nee beavah! Mah li'l Cheeto is numbah one!"

Circus sold a little over 500,000 copies in its first week. This gives Brit Brit the second-biggest debut by a chick this year. Taylor Swift has the highest-selling debut. Circus is also on track to become the seventh-biggest debut of 2008.

Brit's tour is also selling out. They've added new dates in London, Los Angeles, New Jersey, Chicago and Toronto.

I tried to buy tickets for this shit, but I'm not taking over $100 from my booze fund to stand the entire time. Now, I like to be up close and personal, but most of the floor area is standing only. I don't know how to stand that long. Sorry. My legs are on a timer. They give out after 30-minutes.

During Brit's possum bbq today, she better give a speech and thank Daddy Spears, the good people at Forest Laboratories and whoever invented lip-synching and auto-tune.

Source