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And here I thought that the "Single Ladies" madness finally retired, but it hasn't! The gays have already spread their glitter all over it and now it's time for others to get in on the fuckery. I'm specifically talking about small dogs and children. Above is Noodles shaking his furry ass Sasha Fierce-style. Actually, Noodles isn't doing it on his own free will. His owner is forcing him to bust it. I'll admit that I've tried this shit with my dog, but he wasn't amused, so he bit at me. He has me well trained, because I'm not going to try that shit again. He'll be out for blood next time.

And below is little Arianna who has already made the TV rounds with her version. She's going to be a big star.

I'm not even going to be surprised when Single Cacti or Single Lego People starts popping up on YouTube.

VIA Buzzfeed (Thanks Kristina)

In this case, do not connect the dots! They are perfect the way that they are. This hot bitch was arrested in Paso County, FL back in September for possession of two stunning eyebrows. Guilty as charged! Okay, she was really busted for possession of a control substance, but I'm sure the real reason the cops brought her was because they were jealous of her beautiful eyebrows and tried to lock them away.

Seriously, this is some creative shit. During the holidays, she can take a Sharpie to them and draw little Christmas trees. On Valentine's Day, she can draw hearts. And on St. Patrick's day, she can draw little four leaf clovers.

This is an example of a crafty bitch turning her methbrows into a work of art!

Source

(Thanks Kev)

It snowed in NYC yesterday and I thought everyone was going to start farting hot cocoa with marshmallows in it, because I got a dozen e-mails, IMs and pigeon greeting saying shit like "OMG! It's snowing! So Christmas-ey! So Winter Wonderland-ey! So magical-ey!" Yeah, I must that admit, that even though my heart is made of The Grinch's snot balls, I still like snow times......for like ten seconds.

In NYC, snow is pretty for a few eye blinks and then it turns into icy smegma like the shit Nicole Kidman probably coughs up. It's not fun or cute trying to walk on frozen jizz. I never wear the right shoes in the snow either, so I end up grabbing on to walls, strangers, poles and anything that can keep my fruity ass from hitting the frozen ground. Froze fruit! I haven't fallen yet, but my time is coming. It always does. Especially since I've already laughed at a little girl falling on her ass. Yeah, I'll get mine and it won't be fun.

Oh and try to look like you care when you glance at these pictures of Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer in the snow last night. Unfortunately, they didn't slip and hit the ground. They look confused by the white boogers falling from the sky, though. Or maybe they are just trying to figure out a good "We Is So In Love" pose to give the paparazzi.

When you see a Hogan driving down the street, immediately get out of their way, pull the fuck over, run out of your car and take shelter in a safe place.

Yesterday afternoon in Clearwater, FL, Linda Hogan was involved in a little accident not far from Nick Hogan's tragic car crash.

The po po said that Linda's white Mercedes-Benz didn't get that fucked up, but the other car involved in the accident got most of the damage. The police also said, "She was rear-ended, but it was just a fender-bender and there were no injuries reported."

He's talking about her car, by the way. We already know that bitch has been rear-ended, side-ended, front-ended, etc... She is a walking beat down wreck! Although, it was smart of her to get those airbag titties installed a while ago. They saved her!

A witness-type told TMZ that the accident was not Linda's fault, but I don't buy it. Everything is the Hogans fault. They are to blame for everything. When I can't go caca right, I blame the Hogans. They shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel of moving vehicles. Better yet, they should not be allowed to leave their homes.

Here's some super exciting pictures of Linda and her manchild at the scene of the accident yesterday.

Hopefully, this shit is true and Vadge is finally trying to loosen up her knotty twatty with the help of a young hot piece. According to Page Six and Glamurama, Vadge was shooting some shit for W Magazine (AGAIN!) in Rio with a male model who goes by the name of Jesus Luz. Vadge must have wanted a little Jesus in her, because she invited him to join her on tour in Sao Paolo. Of course, he went along, because if you don't do what Vadge says, her saber tooth snatch will bite you.

Glamurama said, "Everyone knows they are ficando - which is a Portuguese expression that means they are kissing and doing other things but without any obligation of being faithful or getting into a relationship afterwards."

This is exactly what Vadge needs to be doing. Fuck that A-Rod creature. She needs to whore it up and pass the pussssay around! The ten-foot long stick that's been stuck up her roided-up ass for far too long needs to be pulled out, so that some hard dick can go in! That's why she's so fucking uptight with all her LISTS, because she needs new and different kinds of peen. Variety is really the spice of life. Being a mega whore will set you free. It might also get you a few trips to the free clinic, but that's a small price to pay!

I say, get it, ride it, suck it, slap it, dump it and then get a new one! Seriously, if she did that shit, she might not be such a royal cunt all the time.

Here's a few pictures of Vadge's hopefully hot piece of the moment. And he's perfect, because when you scream JESUS, you'll be saying his name too! And it goes without saying, but I'd hit it in the manger.

The Donut Man and Duncan the Donut! - The Donut Man used to have some show on public access teaching kids about Jesus by repairing donuts. WTF is right. The Donut Man and his evil sidekick Duncan use donuts to illustrate the point that something can be good and still have something missing. WTF again! Duncan will rot in hell, because he doesn't have a place for Jesus. The Donut Man teaches the kids how to make donut balls, so they can fill the hole and eat it! According to The Donut Man's website, "This 'edible object-lesson' points to a profound truth: that we are all made in God's image, and have a God-shaped empty-place that only God can fill!"

Okay, dropping acid was involved in the creation of this concept. And is it just me or does Duncan remind you of what Tommy Girl's no-no probably looks like? Eyes and everything.

Below is a clip from The Donut Man's show. Today, The Donut Man is still repairing donuts for Jesus on his CDs, DVDs and concert shows.

For Emily

Chris Robinson (42)
JoJo (18)
Jonah Hill (25)
Lucy Pinder (25)
David Cook (26)
Ashley Cole (28)
Michael Badalucco (54)
Uri Gellar (62)
Dick Wolf (62)