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St. Angie's ex-husband, Jonny Lee Miller, has a new baby with his wife, Michele Hicks, and they have named him Buster Timothy Miller. Buster Miller!

People says that Buster Miller was born in Los Angeles on Wednesday and weighed in at 9lbs.

I can already hear the kids calling him Busted Busta! Parents need to think this shit through. You can't make it easy for school bullies! Although, some bullies get pretty creative. In junior high school, one dumb bitch used to call me Michael Dichael. Get it? Dyke. He thought he was so clever for that shit. I hope he's eating Dinty Moore out of a rusty pot. The bastard.

Buster Miller is either going to grow up to be a mischievous puppy dog or an old timey newspaper paper boy who does song and dance numbers in between his deliveries.

Actually, I shouldn't say that shit. There's all different kind of Busters! There's Buster Keaton, Buster Brown, Buster Baxter, Buster Bluth and now we have Buster Miller!

Saint Angelina Jolie has knocked Reese Witherspoon off her golden throne and is now the highest paid actress in the entire universe according to The Hollywood Reporter. You know some bitchy ass alien is giving me the side-eye because she's the highest paid actress on Mars.

In 2008, Angie's movies including Kung Fu Panda and Wanted totaled $1 billion worldwide. She makes up to $15 million per movie.

I'm sure Saint Angie has it on her "To do list" to donate every last cent she's ever made to the humans of the world. She'll live the rest of her life as a peasant in some shanty town so that every person on this planet can say they've been touched by her kindness. Either that or she'll use her fortune to adopt more kids and finally create a child army big enough to take us all down. Yeah, probably the latter.

The rest of the top 5 looks like this:

2. Julia Roberts
3. Reese Witherspoon
4. Cameron Diaz
5. Katherine Heigl

Wait. Stop. Hold up. Rewind. Put the phone down. Throw the pie away. Choke a kitten. KATHERINE HEEEIGL?! Katherine "makes me want to stick a knife in my peen hole" Heigl is the 5th highest paid actress in the world?! Okay, whoever is paying this ho to act in anything needs to be taken out back and beat with a tree branch by my abuelita.

VIA UsWeekly

We see a lot of celebwhores trying to cover up their faces from the paps for whatever reason. Honestly, it makes them look stupider, but let's not tell them that. Instead, let's cash in on it.

These dumb dumbs will buy anything designer that's really expensive, so we should sell some kind of cardboard box that they put over their head so their face doesn't get papped. Of course, we'll cover the cardboard box in Louis Vuitton leather or some shit so it looks fancy. We'll also personalize the boxes by stitching it with phrases like: "Hi. It's Jennifer Aniston underneath here. Please leave me alone." Because celebwhores still want us to know it's them, but want us to think they want privacy. And if the phrase isn't enough for them, we'll super glue their head shot on the box too. We'll be rich!

And if you're not already asleep from looking at these pictures of Jenny Aniston in L.A., you will be soon, so below I've provided you a lovely lullaby video tribute of our beloved Live Feed Puppies. The video is beautiful, but the song is all wrong. It should be "Goodbye" by the Spice Girls instead.

The following story is about crossdressing criminals and the mug shot above is my favorite full-length mug shot of a crossdressing criminal. It fits.

Yesterday at Harry Winston in Paris, two fancy-looking couples strolled into the joint and began browsing the merchandise. It didn't take employees long to realize that the fine ladies were actually dudes dressed in wigs and dresses. All four dudes whipped out their guns (sounds sexy) and forced 15 people including employees and customers into a corner.

The crossdressers and their boyfriends then started loading their bags with necklaces, broaches, rings, watches and any other shiny expensive shit they could get their satin covered hands on.

I mean, those cross dressers better have been wearing full-length black satin gloves or that would be a crime in itself. I also hope that they draped the jewelry all over their body while performing "Diamonds are a Crossdresser's Best Friend" for the entire store.

Anyway, it only took them 20 minutes to snatch $108 million worth of jewelry. It's the biggest jewel theft in French history and the second biggest in Europe. Police say the robbers are probably headed for Eastern Europe to sell their booty on the black market.

This shit is like Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar meets Rififi! I bet you Hollywood is already working on the movie version of this shit starring Tommy Girl and Johnny Travolta, of course.

I need security footage of this shit right now! I'm sure it's hot, but I don't know if it could beat the footage of the crossdressing man who robbed Burger King a while ago. Clip below:

Source

Which well-built actor has been bought a bra for Christmas by a disgruntled ex as a dig about his moobs? (3am Girls)

Jesse Metcalfe and Nadine Coyle? I just hope she got him the manssiere.

Which young actor is finding it hard to stay out of trouble? This celebrity is young, handsome, and parties too much. So far there’s been an incident with his car, an insurance fraud investigation, and an accusation of destruction of property at one of the hotels at which he has stayed. Most of these incidents have not made the headlines. California criminal defense lawyers must be lining up outside his door anticipating the lucrative stream of income this troublemaker will provide over the next few years. (Blind Gossip)

Sh-sh-sh-Shia?!

This barely serviceable singer from a barely serviceable group does have B+ name recognition while the group itself has probably A+ name recognition. Anyway, our singer has been throwing quite a few tantrums lately including walking off stage well before the set is over. Mostly these are because of her drug habit. Coke and meth are her drugs of choice. The bigger problem is that our singer is convinced that her significant other who is many times richer will take care of her if she gets kicked out of the group. Maybe, but some of the other girls he has been cheating with may not agree with her viewpoint. (CDAN)

Nicole Scherzinger of the Trannycat Dolls? She's currently boinking that rich race car driver dude Lewis Hamitlon.

Which actress’ parents nixed her boyfriend because he “wasn’t like them”? The boyfriend is a music maker who has certainly made the rounds through a bunch of actresses. Most surprisingly, though, is the recent discovery that he was dating an actress who is aiming for A list status via films. The actress’ parents completely freaked out when they saw a photo of the couple as her laptop computer’s screensaver, and demanded she break up with him. Although you would know her parents’ names if you heard them - and assume that they would not care about things like income, race, religion, or age - they are actually just a couple of snobs who couldn’t get past the fact that he “wasn’t like them”. (Blind Gossip)

Tater Head?! Or any of the Willis girls? Scout LaRue recently made her debut at the Crillon Ball in Paris, so those bitches think they are high society and shit.

Behold! This is what natural perfection looks like - Hollywood Rag

Mary Carey is no CoCo - Hollywood Tuna

Nicole Kidman can't be bothered with silly car seats - Lainey Gossip

Maddox spits on commercial flights! - Popsugar

The world's oldest living animal (and no it's not Larry King) - Towleroad

Holly Madison is a natural beauty - IDLYITW

Kourtney Kardashian has a hungry snatch (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Chupa Zoe's reality show is coming back - Just Jared

More from MiserAlba's Campari shoot - Egotastic!

Hollywood's leading trannies - Cityrag

Mimi has denied she's carrying a little rainbow unicornie baby in her womb, but she might purposely get knocked up just so she can give birth at the Hello Kitty Maternity Hospital in Taiwan.

The hospital was built in 2006 by Tsai Tsung-chi who spent more than $3.2 million in construction and decorations. He created the hospital hoping to create a pleasant environment for chicks who are afraid of popping out a baby. Tsai said, "I wish everyone who comes here - mothers suffer while giving birth, and children suffer with their sickness - to receive medical care while seeing this Kitty, it brings a smile to their faces, helps them forget about discomfort and recover faster."

The hospital is covered in everything Hello Kitty from statues to bed sheets to furniture to the wallpapers. A life-sized Hello Kitty comes to visit mothers and babies twice a year.

This place is for mothers who just want to pop out a baby in record time. They are forced to speed up labor, so that they can collect their new baby and bounce out of that creepy joint as soon as possible! There's no such thing as a fucking 8-hour labor at the Hello Kitty hospital.

If I was a woman giving birth and a giant Hello Kitty peered into my doorway, I would reach into my vagina, pull out the baby, grab my coat and run the fuck out of that place. HELL NO, KITTY!

And I change my comment about Mimi. She's not only going to give birth there, she's going to buy the whole place and live there permanently!

Source: ITN

Thanks Stacy

Well, the party isn't completely over. I'm sure he'll have a few "Drop the Soap" parties in the chokey during the next 6 years or so. A judge has sentenced him to at least 15 years for robbing a ho with a gun in Las Vegas. He will most likely serve at least 9 years.

Before being sentenced, O.J. cried crocodile tears and told the court, "I just wanted my personal things. I was stupid. I'm sorry. I didn't know I was doing anything illegal. I thought I was confronting friends. I thought I was retrieving my things. I didn't mean to hurt anybody and I didn't mean to steal anything."

Well, it looks like O.J.'s next role is in a remake of Leaving Las Vegas called Leaving Las Vegas In 9 Years Or More.

And I'll bet my entire Mother's Circus Animal Cookies stash that Christie Prody no longer has anymore "accidents." Not in the next 9 years anyway.

Source

Crocs are not only the fugliest things ever created by human hands, but they are also hazardous to your health! Kerry Burdick (BIRD DICK!) of Pennsylvania has filed a $7.5 million lawsuit against the evil doers at CROCS after her son's shoe got caught in an escalator at an aquarium in Baltimore. Her son was left with a mangled big toe.

Ms. Bird Dick claims Crocs knew their fug foot covers were not safe for escalator travel and did not warn the public about it. Last June, a 3-year-old broke three toes when one of her Crocs got caught in an escalator. Crocs said they were not to blame. Although, days before Ms. Bird Dick's son's Crocs accident, the company announced they were redesigning the shoe after receiving around 60 complaints about escalator injuries. They also said they would add "escalator warning" tags to all shoes.

My wish is for a judge to do what's right and turn over the entire Crocs company to Ms. Bird Dick. I am confident Ms. Bird Dick will close down the dark-sided company and recall every last shoe. Ms. Bird Dick should then recycle all Crocs into something the world needs more of: DILDOS!

Source: Baltimore Sun

Thanks Shondi