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American Idol winner (yup, she won - google it, you dumb fuck) Fantasia is about to get kicked out of one of her Charlotte, North Carolina homes! Real Estalker (via Us Weekly) says Fanny's 6-bedroom mansion has been foreclosed on and will be auctioned off on January 12th, unless she can come up with the cash to save it.

Fantasia bought the place back in 2007 for $1.3 million. She won't be totally homeless since her other house in Charlotte isn't in any kind of trouble.

You know what this calls for? Reality show! Fantasia needs to move to Georgia and join the cast of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. She can bond with NeNe, because they both know how it feels to have the evil eviction man knocking on their door to put all their shit on the curb. And Fanny will not sit on her hands when it's time to slap Kim's wig off her head.

Fantasia also needs to join the rest of us and learn how to live off of McDonald's dollar menu, popcorn, Top Ramen and bologna.

In cheerier Fantasia news, it looks like she finally made her last payment and got those 20-year-old braces taken off her teeth. It must have taken two cranes, three tanker trucks and the Shiba Inu 6 to yank those things off. They were on for at least three lifetimes.

Here's Fantasia wearing one of Basement Baby's earlier craft projects at the Cracked Xmas party last night. Even though she put together enough pennies to finally get those braces off, it looks like she didn't have enough for a full pedicure. They didn't put the rest of the polish on her toes!

Have parents learned a new way to flip bitches off in front of their kids? Is Liev Schreiber giving us the triple fuck you? Fuck fuck fuck you! I must fold and file this away for future use. When some dumb ass whore is effing with me and they have their kid with them, I will give them the Liev Schreiber triple finger salute! They will probably think I'm giving them the Boy Scout salute or something else, but I'll know what it really means. And that's all that matters.

Here's Liev, his kid and Naomi Watt's mommy walking around in a fucking frozen NYC. Later in the day, Naomi's mommy decided to freeze some more by shuffling around with her really, really pregnant daughter.

Earlier in the fall, I sort of fell in like with Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe and her reality show. I KNOW! I tried so hard not to like her. Every time I started to feel a little warmness for her, I'd change the channel, but I'd always go back. As someone who doesn't completely despise her, I feel it's my duty to tell her: DRINK SOME VIRGIN BLOOD! Seriously! Chupacabra looks like she's been without the nectar of her victims for some time now. Chupa is only thirty seven and she looks about eleventy thirty seven!

On her show, she regularly tells people they are "shutting it down" when they look hot. Well, Chupa is not shutting it down here. It looks like some of her internal organs might be shutting it down, but that's about it. Chupa also describes things as "bananas." Well, Chupa needs to eat a few banana trees....whole.

People usually want washboard abs, not a washboard chest! Somebody please sacrifice one of those Disney whores to Chupa. We could do without them, but I can't do without season 2 of her shit show!

Below is Chupa with her assistant Brad at The Cracked Xmas Fundraiser in Los Angeles last night.

Noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker from America's Next Top Model and his wife have welcomed member #2,345,934,856 of the ever growing child army that will take control of this planet any day now. Nigel and his wife Cristen already have a son named Jack together.

Cristina gave birth to a baby girl in NYC yesterday. They named her Jasmine Barker.

Somewhere in the world, Ty Ty is holding an emergency meeting to discuss the future of Nigel Barker's life. You know she has her tenhead in a twist, because Nigel did not name his daughter after her. He made a mistake. He could have named his daughter Tyra, Ty Ty, Tyralina, Tyrasaurus, Smile Wit Yo Eyes or Crazy Person. Any of those would have pleased Ty Ty.

In other "BABIES!! are taking over the world" news, the dude from Ugly Betty has a new son named Rylan and The Pink Power Ranger birthed a baby girl named Francesca. BABIES!!!

Source: UsWeekly

The glittery gays of YouTube have already spread their twinkle jelly all over Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Cock Ring On It)", so they have moved on to Brit Brit's "Circus." The twinkie above made his version extra special with water and light effects. The production value is higher than Brit Brit's video!

I wish I had a defibrillator handy during several moments in this shit. At the 0:42 mark, he changes the mood with the flip of a switch and Diet Rite came pouring out of my ears. At the 2:40 mark, the clothes start coming off and I had to make sure Chris Hansen wasn't standing behind me. I need to see some ID!

The moment that takes the fucking cake and smashes it to the ground is at the 3:30 mark when this ho welcomes a special guest. I needed two fucking defibrillators to bring me back after seeing that fuckery. You know the special guest was pissed!

Thanks Christian

SPOILER ALERT! The stunning beauty above wins Rock of Love Bus and Brett Michaels' heart. Okay, I'm totally lying. I don't know if she wins, but if she doesn't then my faith in cable reality TV is gone forever! The elegant creature's name is Nikki and she has already won my heart. It's like Shauna Sand queefed out Nikki in a cloud of lucite dust.

I'm assuming that the first episode will consist of one scene: Nikki and her exquisite lucite heels will sashay into the house and Brett's bandanna will fly off of his head. Nikki will touch his bald spot with one of her lucite heels and a glorious mane of blonde hair will grown in its place. The first words that came out of his mouth will be: "Will you marry me?" Nikki will respond, "I am already married to the angels who sing my name." And then she will flutter off. Brett will commit suicide, because if he can't have Nikki, why go on living? My thoughts exactly.

I believe Nikki will bring class and elgance back to reality TV!

I feel wrong by even mentioning the other hos in this show, but here's a few of my favorites below based on their pictures alone. I've nicknamed them: Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Celibate, The Clap and Herpes. Click here to see the rest of the tramps. Rock of Love Bang Bus premieres on January 4th.

Birthday: 1952ish
Age: 56
Birth Name: Jamie Parnell Spears

Original Date of HS of the Day: December 2, 2008
Claim to Fame: Daddy Spears is a construction worker turned celebrity chef turned Cheeto master! He's also a strong contender for breaking the Guinness World Record for holding the longest grouch face. Sorry, MiserAlba.

Where is he now? Making cheese grits with Velveeta (shudder) or frightening the children with his killer clown costume.

Why is he HS of the Week? I tossed salad and turned over this one. It was between Daddy Spears and Rex Smith, but then I read this article about how Daddy Spears pulled a knife on a reporter in 2002. SOLD! Contest over!

And since the subject is Cheetos, here's a clip from Brit Brit's On the Record that was only shown in Europe. The little Cheetoling looks like she's riding on a beautiful Qualude cloud.

AVALANCHE: These pictures need one - Popsugar

It's only a matter of time before fauxmosexual-in-training Annalynne McCord starts wearing leggings and blogs on MySpace (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Becks is shirt-free and falling - Towleroad

Marisa Tomei + Nipple Rings = Another Oscar! - Egotastic!

Kate Hudson pretends to be poor for Christmas - IDLYITW

Emma Watson kissing on a scary giant mouse - Hollywood Tuna

Chuck Bass and Vanessa continue the fakery - Just Jared

Marshmallow Vampire VS. Evil Troll - Lainey Gossip

Utter perfection, take two - Hollywood Rag

The black hole of Hoff - Cityrag

PUPPIES!! are having the best year ever. Not only have they given us a million hours of entertainment on live feeds, but they have also saved the life of a young boy! PUPPIES!!! 4 President of the World!

This past Friday, a 3-year-old boy wandered away from his babysitter (aka the babysitter drank too much Boones Farm and passed out on the sofa) and left home with two family puppies following behind him. The boy walked into the Virginia woods and went missing for 21-hours. Hundreds of family, friends and officers searched in the 17-degree for the boy.

The boy was finally found on Saturday afternoon sitting near a tree with the two puppies nuzzled against him. The puppies' powerful adorableness kept him alive! His mother told the NYDN, "When I first saw him, he was like, 'Momma, I got cold. I slept in the woods last night. The puppies kept me warm.' He told me that ... the dogs slept up against him. And I'm sure the body heat kept him warm."

The boy also said that the puppies refused to leave him. DUH. They were cold as shit too! And puppies love to nuzzle. That's what they do best.

After he was found, the boy was taken to a nearby hospital for observation. The puppies were taken home and rewarded with food.

You can't count on much in this world, but you can count on a puppy friend to help you in your hour of need. If you're ever down in the gutter, just think of PUPPIES!!! and one or two will magically show up to nuzzle you back to happiness. Or they'll just sniff at your crotch. Either or.

PUPPIES R MY BFs 4EVAH!

Thanks Meghan

Which young actress should have left her sick dog and bad manners at home? At a recent party attended by Hollywood bigwigs, she brought along her adorable puppy, claiming that she couldn’t leave him at home because he was sick. She passed the dog around to lots of people to snuggle with, most of whom did not know that the dog was not in good health. Unfortunately, he wound up getting very sick on the very expensive outfit of the very unhappy wife of a very famous director. The unapologetic actress simply grabbed the pup and walked away, thus ensuring that she will never appear in one of the director’s films. (Blind Gossip)

That Blake Lively chick? If you were her pooch, you'd barf too.

Which supposedly straight funnyman keeps getting caught in West Village dives propositioning men by opening his legs and winking? We hear the B-lister had a few takers. (Gatecrasher)

Seth Green? I've heard stories......

This just confirms that this A list supermodel is in fact, an idiot. Our supermodel was seen making out and groping with some random guy in the corner of a party while her zillionaire boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. (CDAN)

Naomi Campbell? She was only groping the random guy to find his Blackberry, so that she could beat him with it.

This male teen star from a very hit 1990's television comedy is now doing gay porn to make a living. He was definitely on the cover of some teen magazines back in the 90's. (CDAN)

Please let it be Jeremy Jordan!!! He wasn't on a hit TV comedy, but he did do a song for 90210 and that pretty much turned into a comedy by the end of its run.