Entertainment Weekly has named Denise Richards as Dr. Christmas Jones the worst Bond girl of all-time. I agree, but Pierce Brosnan did have the best Bond line ever thanks to Christmas Jones. It was at the end of the movie when Bond and Christmas are doing it on a building or something and he says, "I thought Christmas only came once." I spit out my Mr. Pibb in the movie theater to that line.
Here's the rest of the worst list:
10. Maud Adams as Octopussy in Octopussy
9. Lynn-Holly Johnson as Bibi Dahl in For Your Eyes Only
8. Lois Chiles as Holly Goodhead (amazing name) in Moonraker
7. Cary Lowell as Pam Bouvier in License to Kill
6. Britt Ekland as Mary Goodnight in The Man with the Golden Gun
5. Karin Dor as Helga Brandt in You Only Live Twice
4. Maryam D'Abo as Kara Milovy in The Living Daylights
3. Corrine Clery as Corrine Dufour in Moonraker
2. Tanya Roberts as Stacey Sutton in A View to a Kill
1. Denise Richards as Dr. Christmas Jones in The World is Not Enough
And the best:
10. Carole Bouquet as Melina Havelock in For Your Eyes Only
9. Jill St. John as Tiffany Case in Diamonds are Forever
8. Lotte Lenya as Rosa Klebb in From Russia with Love
7. Michelle Yeoh as Wai Lin in Tomorrow Never Dies
6. Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp in Goldeneye
5. Barbara Bach as Anya Amasova in The Spy Who Loved Me
4. Eva Green as Vesper Lynd in Casino Royale
3. Diana Rigg as Tracy Di Vicenzo in On Her Majesty's Secret Service
2. Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore in Goldfinger
1. Ursula Andress as Honey Ryder in Dr. No
Where's Grace Jones, Jane Seymour, Kim Basinger and Teri Snatcher?! Kim, Jane and Teri can all go on the worst list. Grace definitely needed to be on the best. She really should have played James Bond instead, but her Bond girl was one of my faves.
Denise as the worst is on point. Denise as a research scientist? She can't even spell that.
Image: Rope of Silicon
Peter Andre has spoken out on Jordan getting her boobs reduced. Peter misses them, sort of. He told Loaded Magazine, "I used to think just a little more than a handful was plenty enough and I was simply into legs and bums, but Katie and her amazing boobs changed my mind, big time. Once I had those babies in front of my eyes I was a changed man. I often get asked what Katie's breasts feel like and I can tell you that they feel amazing. And very, very real. And very heavy."
Legs, bums and dicks! He forgot the dick part. Peter went on to say that he's glad she had them reduced, " I secretly thought they might have been too big for her body at one point. To be honest, she wasn't even my type. I don't mean she wasn't pretty, but those fake breasts and blonde hair wasn't what I'd normally go for. However, a few nights alone with her and I soon knew what all the fuss was about."
He secretly wants boobs like that. He caresses them thinking how lovely it would be to have two huge ones like that, feeling a big dick go in and out between them. While we're on the subject, what chicks actually love titty fucking? In porn movies, I never understand when a chick is fake moaning from a penis rubbing between her breasts. That looks like it hurts. Like a rug burn. Dick burn!
VIA The Sun
I'm not sure if that's a rubber doll or Taylor Dayne? The words claim it's Taylor Dayne, but I'm skeptical. This is some scary shit. It's black magic. Poor Taylor. She looks like she just got one of those face transplants. Whatever it is, throw it out the window. I don't need that dark shit around the house.
Heidi Montag and Ashley Tisdale better take note. This is what they are going to look like in 2 years.
Tom Cruise better step it up. PageSix.com reports that the voice of Bart Simpson, Nancy Cartwright, gave $10 million to Scientology last year alone. I had no idea bitch was in bed with Xenu. Nancy reportedly gave the money to Scientology’s Global Salvage effort which wants to cleanse the Earth of psychology crap and other shit.
Tommy only gave $5 million. He's no longer the Queen! He's a Princess now.
Kirstie Alley also gave $5 million, John Travolta and Kelly Preston gave $1 million each and Priscilla Presley gave $50,000. 50 grand?! I'm surprised they didn't kick her cheap ass out.
Nancy reportedly makes $5.5 million a year for her voice work on The Simpsons.
Homer needs to strangle that bitch! The Scientology Global Salvage effort needs to start with cleaning out Tommy's ass. You know there's some effed up shit in there. Xenu jiz is toxic.
The World's most famous party douche, Corey Worthington, got his ass beat and it was caught on camera. Corey is that dude from Australia who threw a huge party while his parents were on vacation. He was later arrested on child porn charges after a sex video was found in his room by his parents. Anyway, Corey was engaged in a pre-arranged fight near a shopping center yesterday.
The fight was arranged after Corey got into an altercation with a boy named Chris. Pre-arranged? Is this fucking West Side Story? Corey is more like Anita than Bernardo.
A witness said, "It was a sort of planned fight. He (Corey) came with all his friends to fight. He thinks he's all that because he's famous now."
The police are investigating the fight.
That's all fine and dandy, but are his sunglasses ok? That's all I care about.
Verne Troyer had lunch at The Ivy yesterday with some mystery woman. Gold digger! Verne always gets the hot chicks. He probably knows how to drill that shit good. Yeah, I know gross. Think about it though. You can bounce that shit up and down. You can throw him up in the air and he'll land right on you. You can pick him up, use him as a lasso, throw him across the room and then run really quick to meet his dick on the other side of the room. That's some fun sex.
When Verne was leaving the restaurant he was accosted by some tool pap who kept telling him that Verne's wife was on the brink of suicide. CelebTV has the video of the dude telling Verne that he has left her without any money and now she's addicted to drugs and in a mental hospital.
Damn! Midget dick is that good?