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Keep The Skirt Down
Amy Wino performed at the Brit Awards tonight where she once again brought her Betty Boop moves and heroin shake. She also kept pulling up her skirt and I was afraid I was going to see Wino's winehole! I'm going to need her to autograph a few pictures, so I can trade it in for a bag of "Joey" and snort it before I see images of her coochie. Actually, give me that bag of Joey anyway. I'm watching her performance and it's making me nervous. It's like watching a lie detector graph go up and down. You're not sure where it's going to land.
She also performed with Mark Ronson along with Adele and Daniel Merriweather. She's not in tune with the music, but I won't hold that against her. I'm still entertained by her dazed eyes and acid cartoon moves. She also mentions Blaaake again! Get off the Blaaake dick Wino! I can guarantee you the dick don't work. Especially after he's ODed in the clink!
VIA ONTD
Kate Moss Taught Him Well
Dreamboat Pete Doherty turned down an offer to model for Lastseason.com, because the money wasn't good enough. The website offered him $10,000, because they heard he was hurting for some dough. Petey countered with $60,000. Bare minimum. No he wasn't high at the same he turned down the offer. Actually, I take that back. Pete is probably always high. Crack smoke is to him like oxygen is to us.
His management wrote the website, "The fee on this would be a bare minimum of 30,000 pounds before we even begin to discuss anything."
The site owner, Stefano Passantino, said, "When they said £30,000 I nearly had a heart attack. Who does the bloke think he is, Claudia Schiffer? I thought Pete could do with a day's work for what would be good money by anyone's standards. He is just not worth that much."
Now that Pete was paid $30k to perform for a millionaire, he thinks he's actually worth shit. He's adopting the Linda Evangelista motto of not getting out of bed for less than 10 grand a day, but he's raising her shit by 50 grand.
I hope that egg crate Petey is sleeping on at home is like a bed of a thousand clouds, because he's going to be laying on that shit for a long time.
Source - Image: Pacific Coast News
Easy Targets
I know how much you love when I post about Heidi and Spencer, so this is just for you. You can send me a fruit basket later, but don't put any melon in that shit! Melon is disgusting and should be destroyed from the earth. Ok honestly, I'm allergic to it. Anyway, our least favorite attention whores of all-time have decided to enter the gaming world.
They said they are currently developing a video game. Spencer said, “We’re definitely developing the Heidi and Spencer video game. You can definitely play as us or you can play against us. You can even torture me.”
I'm beginning to think that Heidi and Spencer were somehow kidnapped by MTV from some hippie commune and groomed to be these douches of epic proportions. This kind of douche behavior is something scientists should really study. Fuck, Massengill should study these bitches. They would come out with the douche that keeps on douching!
I will only play their video game if it is done "eXistenZ" style. eXistenZ is that hot ass Jennifer Jason Leigh movie where your brain plugs in to the game. That way all my senses would get pleasure out of kicking each and every one of Spencer's veneers.
Dirty James
James from Big Brother 9 is the gift that keeps on giving. First, there was a gay jack-off video of him and now it's this. James made this gay porn video where he gets blown by some dude. It's actually pretty boring and really unattractive. It's like they put an ad out for two ugly bitches! Even the dick looks fugly with these two dudes near it. That's a shame.
James is paired with a chick in the BB9 house. He claims he's straight, but he hasn't talked about this little gem in the house yet.
I think this video was actually made for parents that want to turn their gay kids straight. Yup, this video would do it.
Visit ONTD to see caps, but it's really NSFW. You can also see James in action on the DirtyBoyVideo website. They should really change the name to FilthyBoy, because these boys are beyond dirty. There's also a trailer on the site. Yipeeee!
Thanks Lane
Beth Covers Up For The Brits
It's fucking good to see Beth Ditto even though she looks like one big Nerf ball. I'm also a little weepy that she didn't bring it all out for the Brit Awards and by "all out" I mean show her ass. I'm sure she will by the end of the night when she's had too many Fuzzy Navels. That dress will be on the floor and I probably will regret what I wished for.
Also at the Brits tonight are Alien Princess RiRi in a dress by Reynolds Wrap. She's fucking ready to be beamed up after this bitch. Also Kelly Osbourne who is basically shrinking into nothingness. She was with her family and her mother wore the same damn frock she always wears. Of course, Mark Ronson was there. He's performing with Amy Wino tonight. He could be covered in elephant shit and I would still think he was a hot piece.


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