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Aww....Paris Hilton has no friends, so she has to look to reality TV to get some. UsWeekly reports that Wonky McHoBag will star in a new show for MTV or Vh1. The premise? Paris is looking for a new best friend among a group of skanks. Yes, looking for a new BFF. Paris is forever 12 on the inside. 12 in a whore's body.

A source said, "The show is going to be about her searching for a new best friend. Paris is tired of the haters and she's looking for someone new. She's looking for someone new and cool who she can trust. The new show is going to be full of good chick drama and you will see a side of Paris not seen on Simple Life."

Think Flavor of Love meets Single White Female meets the short bus. I can't wait to see the turnout for this shit. I'm guessing the casting call will consist of dirty old men looking for a sure thing, Rock of Love rejects and medical professionals that want to study Paris' rare jungle STDs.

Daniel Radcliffe accepted some theater award for his work in Equus on Sunday night when the show's host, James Corden, ambushed him with a kiss. Daniel doesn't even try to deny it and he just goes with it. I don't blame the host. Harry Potter is that sexy. Even middle-aged straight men can't help wanting to put their lips all over him. I'm sure Daniel has to walk down the street with a bag over his head, because dogs, cats, women and men all try to get a piece of that.

The kiss is at the 30 second mark

Thanks David

CoCo is looking soooooo demure.... Trust me, this is demure for CoCo. This is probably the standard call girl uniform in Las Vegas, but or Coco this is straight-up nun ware. She really is an elegant lady. She couldn't resist showing her ass though. I think it's ass reflex. The flash goes off and her ass automatically poses for the picture.

Here she is with her pimp at the Children Uniting Nations Oscar party. Children uniting with the help of CoCo's ass!

Shauna Sand attended the "100 Stars" Oscar party last night and wore her signature lucite heels. Since it was a special night, Shauna dressed them up a little bit using $2 ribbon from the craft supply store. Now a pair of $5 shoes look $7! Instant expensive glamour! Her shoes look fantastic, pity about the dress. It looks like it got caught in the elevator.

It's funny for a party called "100 Stars" there were about 0 stars there. This shit was also attended by Jeff Conaway with his girlfriend Vicki, Jenna Jameson, Baby Huey, Kelly LeBrock, Sally Kirkland and Traci Bingham. All the major names in Hollywood.

What the hell is Jeff still doing with Vicki! Vicki is the Sam Lutfi of D-list celebrities! She is totally making Vicodin cocktails for Jeff. Jenna and Kelly should totally team up and do a remake of Howard the Duck. They both have the lips to play the title role.

And that's where Sally Kirkland was?! Shit, that was the real party to be at.

What the? Oh hell no! Josh Brolin better get off my man! This is rape and it's not funny. Javier Bardem's laugh may be saying "yes," but his genitals are clearly saying no! At least turn that poor Oscar around. It shouldn't have to witness this.

Diane Lane, please come take care of your husband! Give him a hand job, so he will stay away from my property! Yes, he's my property. Check his ass, it says "I Belong to MK" on it. Actually, don't check his ass, because then I will get jealous, cut you and end up in jail.

Here's Javier with a fug attacking him at Miramax's Oscar party last night.

Amy Wino left her house to visit Blake Incarcerated today and her arm was covered in scratches. Wino has been known to self-harm, so some people are worried that she's at it again.

There's a reasonable explanation for this I'm sure. She was minding her own business, smoking crack, when the pipe broke and the pieces fell all over her. An innocent accident! It could happen to any of us. I actually think Wino's skin just naturally does that.

Here's Wino leaving her home this morning looking like she'll felch you for a half-smoked ciggie.

Wenn