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Rihanna was at Macy's in NYC today whoring out her umbrella collection. She's just making that money. I'm a little disappointed that the umbrella isn't covered with her picture with the words "ella ella" written all over it and that it doesn't play her song when open it followed with a voice-over telling you that her album is in stores now. Her marketing team is slacking.

The alien princess is looking darling as always. I just want to pinch her cute cheeks and then kick her in the shins. I'll ignore the fact that her shoes don't match her make-up which really bothers me. What kind of homo is styling her? Her new hair is very Zac Efron, very alter boy.

That umbrella may not play music, but it's still pretty gay looking. Sorry, I only carry the cheap ass $3 umbrellas from the deli. They always seem to turn inside out when you need them most which makes it really easy to abandon them in cabs. No commitment umbrellas.

Splashnewsonline.com

JLo's daddy confirmed that she's having twins. Duh! In vitro babies. David Lopez was on the Spanish language show Escándalo where he said, "Yes, twins. The thing is in my family, my sister also had twins, so it's a hereditary thing."

Escandalo is the hottest name ever. I hope JLo names one of her babies that. David also talked about how he bought the babies a bracelet to protect them. He said, "In Puerto Rico it's custom to buy an azabache [black stone] bracelet for babies to protect them from the evil eye, it's part of our culture."

The evil eye? He's totally talking about Skeletor.

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Here's some lovely photographs of a lovely man, Pete Doherty, skipping down the streets of gay Paree today. Ignore the lady, she's a hag. I shouldn't say that. If she's fucking Pete, she's a hag. If she isn't, she's a beautiful person. I really wish he would change that calico cat hair color. Other than that...he's a dream.

Oh and he will also be playing the Rock Against Racism event this weekend. Ya see, Dreamboat cares about important issues. It's probably an open bar and that's why he's playing.

Splashnewsonline.com