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Vanessa Williams was asked by OK! Magazine what her weirdest beauty tip is. She answered, "The weirdest thing I ever heard was take morning urine and put it on your acne. I did it. I tried to do it and I was like, 'I'm not doing it.' It was years ago, now I've got Proactiv and I don't need that."

It's just piss. I think there's something wrong with me, because I don't find this that gross. It's almost the same thing as putting sperm all over your face and I'm sure you do that on a daily basis. I'm talking to you and not Vanessa. Seriously, I'd rather put Asparagus piss (and that shit is lethal) on my face than Proactiv. I tried that crap and it does take off your acne, but it burns off some of your skin too. I think the secret ingredient is battery acid.

Bindi Irwin launched her new eco-friendly clothing line in Sydney today. That girl need some Ritalin, because she's everywhere at warp speed. I would tell her to chill out and smoke a bowl, but something tells me she's not old enough for that yet. I mean, she has a TV show, kid's fitness video, a rap album, a doll collection and now a clothing line! Wait and she goes to school too! I'm still waiting for Bindi to hit the big screen and play the role she was meant to play: Kira in Dark Crystal!

Patti Labelle, don't go out like that! I can't be responsible to what might happen to you if you put your lips on Donatella Versace's face.

Donatella Versace held a cocktail party in NYC last night for her Versace's menswear line and brought out the most random group of people. Donatella, Patti and Woody Allen in the same room? Strange. This looks like a cocktail party in purgatory. Soon Yi is standing there wondering how the hell she ended up there. I know how she got there! It was a little Jesus Juice and a bedtime story.

And we're off! It's time for those Fuggie Fug pregnancy rumors again. Fuggie looked a little wide in the face and belly as she left a sushi joint with Josh Duhamel last night. Just because she was at a sushi joint doesn't mean she was having sushi. I know pregnant chicks aren't supposed to eat raw fish. I order chicken teriyaki at sushi restaurants all the time. The waiter usually looks at me like he wants slap me. He probably puts his eye boogers in my meal. It still tastes delicious, so I do not care.

Everybody's getting pregnant nowadays, so why not Fuggie? It's the thing to do. I'll light a candle tonight and pray baby doesn't get her methface.

From meth bumps to baby bumps. Our little Fuggie is growing up.

InTouch claims Angie Jo is definitely knocked up with twins. Their sourcie said she's having a boy and a girl, "because Angelina took fertility treatments to help her ovulate, her babies are fraternal. They're ecstatic. She can't wait." Maddox must be their source. He's such a gossip.

They might even have a name for their new girl. Actress Sarah Bolger (above) of The Spiderwick Chronicles is going around saying that they will name their daughter Mallory after her character. She told the Daily Telegraph, "Angelina is saying in interviews that if one of the twins is a girl Maddox gets to name her and he has said Mallory because it's his favourite movie at the moment." Were these interviews in her dreams, because I haven't heard that shit at all.

She went on to say, "I was shocked because he's a boy and I thought he would have liked Jared or Simon (Mallory's twin brothers in the movie). So now I am crossing my fingers that they have a girl. I would love to go up to Angelina Jolie and go 'Your kid is named after me'. That would be the best thing in the world." Strangers things have happened. They did name Shiloh after a beagle.

There's only one Mallory and that's Mallory P. Keaton!

A German woman went into the hospital thinking she was going to get an operation on her leg. Instead she woke up out of surgery with a new anus. And her leg was still fucked up! The dumb bitches at the hospital mixed her up with another woman who suffered from incontinence and was to have surgery on her sphincter. The medical clinic in Bavaria has since suspended the entire surgical team.

The woman still needs surgery on her leg and she is planning on suing the hospital. Hey, but she has a new asshole. It can't be all that bad. I didn't know they were just giving out new assholes like that! Where do I sign up? Mine is a little rusty.

I also couldn't find a picture of the woman, so I decided to use this picture of Lisa Rinna. Her mouth looks like an asshole, so it makes sense.

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Thanks Thomas

Petey Pete Wentz has admitted that he once came close to ending it all. He was out of control and a bunch of doctors put him on prescription meds. These celebrities get the goods so fucking easy. I have to give a Meryl Streep performance just to get a little Vicodin from my doctor.

Petey painted the picture of that fateful night, "I got in my car. I remember I was listening to Jeff Buckley doing Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" and sat there and took a bunch of [anxiety drug] Ativan in a Best Buy parking lot. And I called up my manager because I was, at that point, completely out of my head with Ativan. And I was talking to him and I was slurring my words, so he called my mom and my mom called me and she came and got me and we went to the hospital."

That sounds like a really bad scene in a really cheesy after-school special. Petey said he's only telling the story now, because he wants to help other young people.

It's such a good thing Petey was not taken from us. It's much too soon and his death would destroy the lives of many people. The tears from all the emo tweens, MAC counter salespeople and straightening iron inventors would flood the world and drown us all.

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I want to break into Mimi La Rue's food container and spike it with some Zoloft. She has a look on her face that reads, "One day I'm going to somehow find the energy to crawl into Tori's bathroom and witness her coming out of the shower naked. If that doesn't finally send me to the heavens, nothing will."

Tori Spelling and her family attended the launch party for her new book last night. Tori is currently knocked up with baby number two and it was confirmed by her rep that she's having a girl. Mimi La Rue is thrilled. Can't you tell? Mimi will finally be off the hook from wearing homo ass dresses.

The party was also attended by such A-listers as Bobby Trendy and the Kardashian hookers. Bobby has worn that outfit at least 3 times in a 7-day period. Somewhere in American, a little girl is missing her purple satin bedspread and pillow cases.

Palm leaf over chocha! Adriana Lima gets naked for GQ - Egotastic!

Brit Brit's family night - Popsugar

Spitzi's hooker goes wild - Hollywood Tuna

Donald Trump might be in trouble - IDLYITW

Janet Jackson is really weird - Hollywood Rag

Cat vs. toilet paper - Cityrag

Kristin Cavallari started young (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

More of Aniston's barely there bikini - Just Jared

Leave Anne of Green Gables alone!!!! - Jezebel

Jakey G has given in - A Socialite's Life

Beth and Brian Willis' two dogs have bit the dust, but their pooches will always have a place near their hearts. Beth and Brian had their dogs' hair turned into sweaters. I've seen this shit on TV. You collect the hair your dogs shed and keep it in a safe place. You take the hair to some bitch who will make whatever you want out of it. I would probably have a pair of panties made. Well, my dog is always smelling my crotch. Too much information...

Mrs. Willis said, "It is not actually a hair but a wool, which is why it is so good for clothes. It would just fall off the dogs and I would run a wet hand over the carpet and pick it up. We found out from the breeders we got the pups from that it was possible to use their coat for clothes. Apparently it is quite popular with lots of the people who breed long-haired dogs." Popular among the insane!

The Willis' had the sweaters made before their two dogs passed away. Mrs. Willis says she wears hers all the time.

For the love of dog! I'm sorry, but any garment that I have to flea-dip regularly is not going anywhere near my body.

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Thanks Ginger