Archives

Amy Wino's swollen crack mouth has been explained. I thought bitch had a little dental work to fix up her crack teeth, but her spokeswhore claims she has impetigo. Her spokeswhore said, “Amy has been diagnosed with impetigo which she’s been told can be highly contagious. Because of that she’s been put on antibiotics and may have to stay home alone for the next few days.”

That's nice to hear, because Amy performed at a Fendi party only a couple of nights ago. Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen, Jessica Alba, Princess RiRi, Kanye West and Milla Jovovich were all at the party. Highly contagious? Hopefully, Paris will soon be filled with swollen mouthed celebutards.

She told the crowd at the Fendi party, "I'm available for bookings. If anyone wants me for a wedding or a bar mitzvah. ... Well maybe not a wedding. My music's a little too heartbreak. For a wedding, you need something meeker." And she'll throw in a little impetigo for free!

Source

Reese Witherspoon and her best girlfriend, Jake Gyllenhaal, did a little shopping at A.P.C. in NYC today. Jake looks like he's trying to get away from her ass. Reese had to shout, "Hey Girl! Wait up! Agent Provocateur is the other way. Didn't you say you wanted a new pair of pink panties for yourself?"

I don't mind Reese, but she always looks like she's smelling a rank ass fart. I guess I would make that face if I constantly had to smell Jake's butt cum. Trust me, if you don't clean the butt cum right away it will sit in there and simmer like braised red cabbage. Well, so I've heard.

Here's Jessica Alba and Princess RiRi at the Fendi store opening in Paris a few nights ago. Jessica is knocked up with her "brown baby", but that's not stopping her from enjoying the shows in Paris. Selfish bitch! I hope she gets mega fat, but only in her face. That way all the fat will stay in her head and hopefully her mouth will become too heavy to open.

Princess RiRi looks like she had her make-up done by a doll maker. Put an alien curse on your make-up artist, RiRi! He fucked you up.

Also, here's Jessica at the Lanvin show in Paris today. It doesn't look like Cash came with her to Paris. I hope she put a bike lock on his dick, because you know how that bitch is.

It's that time again. Please take a moment from trying to figure out how you're going to get out of work tomorrow to vote for February's Hot Slut of the Month! This is truly a random group. I love them all. Here are your choices:

Lorielle New - Red carpet princess
La Pequeña - Tranny little person and the world's newest superstar
Sgt. Caroline Mason - Homicide detective and fashionista
Susanna Sievinen - Finland's biggest slut
Ms. Krazie - The hardest working chola rapper in the game

Voting is to the right. Winner will be announced Tuesday. Happy Voting!

Prince Hot Ginge spoke to the media today in England about having to come home early from Afghanistan. Hot Ginge shared a plane with two soldiers who were coming home due to massive injuries.

Hot Ginge said, "Don't call me a hero—those are the heroes. One had lost two limbs—a left arm and a right leg—and another guy who was saved by his mate's body being in the way but took shrapnel to the neck. Both were out cold throughout the whole of the flight."

"Those are the heroes. Those were guys who had been blown up by a mine that they had no idea about, serving their country, doing a normal patrol. "I wouldn't say I'm a hero. I'm no more a hero than anyone else. If you think about it there are thousands and thousands of troops out there."

Who called him a hero? Uh...huh....yeah...ok....whatever you say Hot Ginge! Just take off your top. I really just wanted a reason to post these hot pictures of him in Afghanistan. This is about as much as I want to see of Hot Ginge though. I'm not ready to feast my eyes on his massive fire bush. You have to be ready for red pubes. The last Ginge I got sexy with left tons of red pubies all over my white bed. It looked like a fire ant farm!

Take off your pants before you read this post. It will make your experience much more enjoyable. Colin Farrell admitted to GQ Magazine that he loves the Russian and Turkish baths on 10th street in NYC.

He said, "There's something very basic about rubbing honey on your skin and going steaming with a bunch of strange Russian men."

I can't be elusive with you Honey! Sorry, I hear the word "honey" and I immediately think of that Mariah Carey song. Anyway, I've been to that same joint and I've never run into Colin Farrell's hot greasy ass. It's a good thing I didn't, because I would have ended up in the slammer for trying to glaze my ham with Colin's honey.

No wonder his hair is always so greasy. He probably doesn't wash the honey out. Nasty ass.

Colin also admitted to the magazine that he went to rehab to get off ecstasy, cocaine, speed, Jack Daniels and wine. That's it?! Lightweight. Trying to get off Jack Daniels is the saddest thing I've ever heard.

Lately there has been several internet rumors that Ellen Page likes to bump snappers with other females. She sort of addressed it last night on "Saturday Night Live." Ellen did a skit where she comes home to her boyfriend (Andy Samberg) and goes on and on about how much fun she had a Melissa Etheridge concert. I sort of chuckled up my Pedialyte (I'm still sick) when she said, "Why can't I just hug a woman with my legs in friendship."

The skit ended with Andy's character accepting she might be a lesbian and then the two hug. Is this her way of coming out? Who gives a flying dental dam?! I personally don't care about actors and actresses come out as flaming homos! Just entertain me. That's all I want.

That being said, you know Jodie Foster wants her some Page ass.

Birthday: ?
Age: ?
Birth Name: ?

Original Date of HS of the Day: February 24, 2008
Claim to Fame: Chola rapper!

Where is she now? Ms. Krazie is either drawing her eyebrows in with a Sharpee, hiding razor blades in her hair or trying to get rid of neck hickeys with a frozen spoon.

Why is she HS of the Week? Because we all need more chola glamour in our lives! Visit Ms. Krazie's MySpace for more info. I'm not into her music, but bitch should be on the cover of Vogue magazine.

I don't know why I care about this, but I just do. American Idol loser, Robbie Carrico, has denied to People Magazine that he wears a wig. He said, "I’ve been growing this hair for a very long time. It’s ridiculous that [the media] have to come up with something like that.”

Bitch is lying! There's only one way to prove it. He needs to let Paula Abdul try and pull that shit off. I've seen the way she's been eyeing his wig. Just throw a couple of uppers in her mouth and watch her go. She'd rip it off with her teeth.

Robbie also talked about his past relationship with Brit Brit Spears, “We went on a couple of dates but that’s pretty much it.” It's too bad they didn't work out. They could share each other's wigs.

And here's a little video from Robbie's old days in the pop group, Boyz 'N' Girls United. Yeah, he's a real rocker.

TMZ reports that 23-year-old Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis was arrested on Friday night after he was pulled over by the fuzz. Cops found a controlled substance on him and threw him in jail. He was released yesterday afternoon after his stepdaddy posted his $10,000 bail.

The LASD inmate information page lists his height as 6'2" and his weight at 190lbs. 190?! I think they accidentally typed in his birth weight instead of his current weight.

I'm guessing the "controlled substance" they found on him was a frappuccino.