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Meet the two latest skanks that will be joining us on our bus ride to Hell. 24-year-old Crystal Rowland and 28-year-old Matthew Pearce were arrested in Sanderson, FLA (It's always Forida!) for fucking in church.

Police received a call about a suspicious outside the Mount Zion Primitive Baptist Church. When they entered the church they found Crystal behind the altar. They later found Matthew practically naked underneath the church. Cops also found red wax splattered all over the altar. They suspected the two sluts had moved the candles from inside the church.

When police asked Crystal why they were fucking in church, she said they wanted a "spiritual and sexual experience." Somebody needs to tell that bitch that screaming "Oh God" while getting it in church is far from a spiritual experience.

The two were charged with criminal mischief and burglary. Matthew is also a registered sex offender. Lovely.

The quotes from the Deacon of the church are the best! Deacon Lonzie Altman said, "Her drawers were in the stands. Her brazier was over on the outside the stands. I don't know what has become of the people that somebody would just do something like that in a church. Don't think that the lord ain't got something for them." Drawers! Braziers! Deacon Lonzie obviously doesn't know about a little thing called meth. It screws up your brains and makes you do ungodly things!

I'm pretty sure the lord has nothing to say to them. How is he going to look them in the eye without laughing. He's seen their nasty business!

Source

Remember Stacey from The Bachelor 12? It seems just like yesterday she was giving away her skanky panties to the bachelor Matt. It practically was yesterday. It was Monday, but it feels like ages ago. How I miss her. Anyway, Stacey spoke to BuddyTV and claims the panties she gave him were just an extra pair.

Stacey said, “I just wanted to spice things a little bit, get the attention on me, which I sure did! I’m very spontaneous, outgoing, and I figured, ‘Why not’? They were an extra pair. They did not literally come off my body!”

They were on her body at one point. I don't care if those things were dipped in bleach, sprayed down with acid and soaked in oven cleaner for 4 hours. There still had to be some of her skank juice on those things. Stacey said that he wasn't into it at all, but she didn't care, "He's not really her type, “I like my All American bad boys. I want to date a manly man, not my best girlfriend."

Oh Stacey! Let's be serious here! You will probably date anything as long as it has a dick and a pulse.

It's amazing what some bitches will do for Marc Jacobs. Come on Posh! Take those feathers off your hair, scrub off the poo tan, slap Marc and then get a clue!

Above is MJ's latest ad starring Posh. Puke!

Source: Daily Mail

When are brain dead celebrities going to realize that water doesn't hurt. I know it probably stings their evil bodies, but it doesn't hurt cameras. Brucie Willis just wasting his Penta. Maybe he's blessing them with his douche water?

Here's Brucie shopping at the Grove in Los Angeles with his fetus girlfriend. She looks like she's 11.

Disney is the devil! I don't understand how they can completely shit on Walt Disney's beautiful creations! The "It's A Small World" in Anaheim, CA ride went down for renovations this past January. Disney said they were replacing the boats and flume, but claim it's not because people are fatter today.

They aren't stopping there. TMZ reports that they are also making bigger changes to the ride. A source tells them that new pieces are currently being built for the ride. Disney plans to add some of their popular characters to the ride to modernize it. Abu from Aladdin will reportedly sit in the Middle Eastern section, Nemo will be in the undersea section and Stitch will live in the Polynesian part of the ride.

The Los Angeles Times Blog also claims that other characters might be going in. There's also claims that Disney is ripping out the entire rain forest section and replacing it with an American tribute. The family of the ride's original creator have started a protest against the changes. The family said, “Ripping out a rain forest (imaginary or otherwise) and replacing it with misplaced patriotism is a public relations blunder so big you could run a Monorail through it."

This is worse than ripping out the submarine ride and replacing it with that "Finding Nemo" crap. They better not even think of touching the Haunted Mansion ride. That's one of the only places in the park where you can engage in oral sex without being bothered!

"Chapter 27" was shot a long ass time ago, but it will finally see the light of day on March 28th. No, it's not going straight to DVD, but it is only opening in NYC. It will open a week later in Los Angeles. Jared Leto gained a whole Olsen to play John Lennon's murderer. This is what people need to do nowadays to win Oscars. It's only going to get more insane. Jennifer Garner is totally going to cut off one of her legs to play Heather Mills just so she can get a fucking nomination.

The movie also stars Lindsay Lohan. Yup, that basically means it's going to suck. Here's the trailer below in case you missed it.

I don't if that says fatt, fatty or something else? Whatever it is, the extra "t" is for her extra ass, because CoCo looks like she has two.

Coco's fatty ass came out to celebrate her 29th Birthday at Plumm in NYC last night. She held a joint party with her pimp, Ice-T, whose Birthday was last month. He turned 50!

Yes, you read right. She claims it's her 29th. I'm going to take a wild guess and say the 29th Birthday was for her ass and tits.

Kid Rock and Treach also arrived to toast the most elegant and sophisticated couple in the world.

Kate Beckinsale really hates sushi. Kate recently told a magazine that she would rather eat pussy than eat sushi.

Moviefone asked her to elaborate and she said, "I have to say, sushi freaks me out more than almost anything. At least a vagina would be warm. My publicist has literally turned a funny color and is going to go have a lie-down. He's throwing up now, as well. I find a lot of things kind of funny and I often say what's on my mind, and then get nine texts from all my friends going, 'What's the matter with you?' But I haven't ever made a big attempt to have any particular image. And I don't really worry about it."

Sounds to me like bitch has been eating some rank ass sushi. She's alone on this one. At least sushi doesn't squirt lady juice all over your mouth. Sushi also doesn't get yeast infections. Have you seen yeast infection tongue? Barf.

Rocky from Vh1's "I Know My Kid's A Star" Is My New Idol - Jezebel

Kim Kardashian's new perfume line - Hollywood Tuna

And what the fuck is that slut Kim wearing? (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Audrina Partridge is nekkid - Egotastic!

Jonathan Rhys Meyers and his girlfriend wear matching douch jackets - Just Jared

Breaking! Angie Jolie is not perfect - IDLYITW

Kate and Owen hold hands - Popsugar

Tom Brady's package - A Socialite's Life

Sunset Thomas is pure class - Hollywood Rag

Pretty In Pink: Then & Now - Cityrag

It's a slower than fuck news day (by news, I mean gossip), so here's some pictures of Elizabeth Taylor leaving The Abbey in West Hollywood with her poochie Daisy. 75-year-old Liz joined her main gays for cocktails at the gay bar. I'm sure Lizzie had tea, but Daisy had a few Long Island Iced teas. The bitch looks wasted.

Speaking of Liz, White Diamonds remains one of the greatest commercials of all time.