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Heather Mills is not done fighting. Doesn't this bitch ever get tired? Fuck! Somebody slip an Ambien in this woman's haterade, because she needs a nap. Anyway, Heather is making plans to return to court in a bid to have her gag order lifted.

Heather is pissed that the judge's 58-page verdict was released and she can't say anything about it, because the hearing was covered by a confidentiality agreement. The judge basically painted her as a crazy ass gold digger. The truth fucking stings like Paris Hilton's cooze.

Heather's lawyer told the Daily Star, “Heather is very frustrated. She feels that it’s very unfair that the judgment should be printed in full when she cannot defend herself. She’s planning to apply to lift the ban. It was damning enough that the judge made his judgment so clear and vividly – no-one deserves that. It’s like a prolonged hanging for her.”

Heather could stand to make even more millions for media deals if the gag is lifted. The judge needs to gag this bitch permanently. It's for her own good, because it's making her insane.

Heather Mills must be possessed by the devil, because it's not normal for her to care so much. For some reason she really wants us all to know what a victim she is. Save it Heather! Get drunk, call a 1-900 number and spill your guts out to those bitches. They will really show you that they care.

Homegirl got her money and it's still not good enough. If I was her, I would be naked on a private beach drinking diamond water out of solid gold goblets with Yoko Ono.

And in other crazy bitch news, Heather is planning to fly first-class while her daughter flies coach! This is pretty hilarious, because last week Heather slammed Paul for doing the same thing. Oh Heather! Why stop at coach? Cargo is much cheaper! I shouldn't have said that. I don't want to give Heather any ideas.

"Gitcher rifle! We is goin' bunny huntin'"

No holiday is complete without a special greeting from Heidi and Spencer. Couldn't you just wet fart? I am completely convinced that MTV created Heidi and Spencer from a petree dish in their lab. They cannot be real.

Here's these two pieces of dick cheese having an easter egg hunt with Spencer's "niece." Please! That's not his niece. They totally got that poor girl down at central casting. I hope she upped her day rate, because she deserves a lot of money for hanging out with these two assholes.

There's just something about Miley Cyrus' mother, Tish Cyrus, that screams "I want to be famous." Tish has been escorting her daughter to many events lately. Bitch is saying she's there to "chaperone," but you know she loves the camera. Her lame horse face seems to light up every time a camera's on her mug. This is how it starts. Next thing you know, she's going to leave her husband, become the whore of all whores and then she's going to get a reality show. It's called the "White Oprah" plan.

Here's Tish and Miley at The Cheesecake Factory in Pasadena yesterday. Let's talk about The Cheesecake Factory for a second. I know that shit is deliciousness to a lot of you, but don't trust it! I just can't trust a joint that has 5000 items on their menu. That means your food is frozen and they are making that shit in the microwave. Why pay $20 for some Easy Mac you can have at home for two dollars. I'm surprised they don't have Hot Pockets on their menu

What the hell? MiserAlba never smiles! Maybe she just pregnant queefed. It probably feels good against your gina. Something definitely happened, because I didn't even know she was capable of smiling. I don't know if she should continue to do it. I kind of like my MiserAlba all grouchy and shit. This is throwing me off. I don't trust it!

Here's MiserAlba with Cash Warren at Baron Davis' Birthday party last night.

Last week, Ethan Hawke took part in the 24-Hour Plays in NYC. The show is a series of one-acts and during each play a performer will come out and entertain the audience with a quick song. One of the performers was Ethan Hawke. A writer from New York Magazine was there and said the audience was shocked when Ethan came out, but they were even more shocked with the song he chose to sing.

Ethan told everyone, "Someone I know wrote this song while shooting a movie in Paris during his divorce." Of course that someone was him and he was talking about his divorce to Uma Thurman. Ethan then broke into song where he called Uma a "big fat beast."

NY Magazine wrote:

He proceeded to sing a ditty that included lyrics about "not caring if [he] ever saw New York again," "the lawyers," and — most telling — "my wife." Uma! "My wife hates me," he sang, adding something about how she would call him a prick, how he longed to send for his children, tralalala singing stuff. We were intoxicated, both with beverages and with memories of Dead Poets Society. And then! "My wife is a big fat beast," he sang. We gasped, along with the rest of the audience. He called Uma fat! In public! Sheepishly, Hawke broke his musicianly stride: "Yeah, I was very upset at the time." And still is, we suspect.

That's pretty fucking funny, because didn't Ethan cheat on Uma with the nanny? The writer is right. The bitch is still upset. While Ethan was singing that song in a dark theater, I'm sure Uma was sucking champagne off her millionaire boyfriend's dick while riding in his private jet. Revenge is so sweet.

Ethan needs to take a good look at his crater face in the mirror and ask himself who the real beast is? I'd still hit it though. Well, he was so fucking hot in Reality Bites.

Here's some pics of Ethan and Uma during the happy days. She was never a big fat anything. Beast maybe, but definitely not fat.

Birthday: ?
Age: I have no clue, but some message boards claim she's in her early 50s
Birth Name: ?

Original Date of HS of the Day: March 19, 2008
Claim to Fame: Ramona owns a jewelery line, clothing line and skincare line. She's one of the spoiled rich bitches on the Bravo show "The Real Housewives of NYC."

Where is she now? Probably drunk and partying

Why is she HS of the Week? Ramona's 13-year-old daughter, Avery, is definitely the break-out star of the show. Avery tells her mother that she's "unladylike" and dresses like a slut. Ramona is becoming infamous for threatening to throw her friend's little dog into the pool after a few cocktails. Ramona also considers herself a MILF and on one episode kissed a girlfriend in front of her daughter. TRASH!

She also said she would die if she lived in the suburbs. Send that bitch to the suburbs then! Love her.

The husband of Corinne Bailey Rae was found dead from a suspected overdose yesterday in a London apartment. Jason Rae was 31. Police say they arrested a man yesterday on suspicion of supplying controlled drugs. The Daily Mail reports that Corrine was not in the apartment at the time her husband's body was found.

Early forensic tests on Jason's body were inconclusive. Police are waiting on further toxicology reports.

Corrine married Jason in 2001 when she was 22. Jason was a saxophonist in the band The Haggis Horns. Corrine is best known here for her song "Put Your Records On" and "Like A Star."

So many people have been dying from overdoses lately. Drugs are bad. Don't do them! Stick to booze, blunts and corn syrup.

Sadness.

Diddy's twins, D'Lila Star and Jessie James (yes, Jessie James), made an appearance at the finale of "Making the Band 4" in NYC last night. Diddy should've put the twins to work, because I'm sure they can sing better than those Danity Kane chicks.

I do love Aubrey O'Day though. Just when I thought she couldn't look even more like a tranny mess, she shows up in crap like this. What the fuck is she wearing in the third thumbnail below? Somewhere in the world, a tranny dominatrix is missing her uniform. It's Easter and I'm hungover as hell. I really don't need to be looking at this shit.

Courtney Love is over Los Angeles and is planning to move to the English countryside. She probably pissed off too many drug dealers in Los Angeles, so bitch needs some new blood. Court has been looking at multi-million dollar homes in Sunningdale, Berkshire. She's made it clear that she doesn't want to live in the city.

She said, "I am fed up with Los Angeles. It's dirty and full of crazy people. I want a complete lifestyle change. People criticise Britain but it is still a cleaner, safer place to live than Hollywood." Dirty and crazy people? That's the pot calling the kettle INSANE.

Court also thinks that Hollywood is not the place to raise a teenager, "There are too many bad influences. Frances is also looking forward to the move to England."

Amy Wino can be her roommate! That shit would be like the cracked out version of Grey Gardens. I can't fucking wait to hear Court's fake British accent.

And isn't it illegal to bring drugs into England? I know Court claim she's sober now, but I'm sure there's enough drugs backed up in her system to bar her from entering the country. England has found their angle.

Source: Daily Mail

It's an Easter miracle! A youth minister in Houston thinks he might have found the image of Jesus Christ in a Cheeto. Steve Cragg of Memorial Drive United Methodist Church said he was eating a bag of Cheetos when he came across what he originally thought looked like a dog. After turning it sideways, Steve saw the image of Jesus Christ. His students have named it Cheesus and Steve keeps it in a special box.

He said, "Please know that I am not making light of Easter or religion. I do not think that God makes Cheetos that look like Jesus or creates images of Himself on screen doors. I do know that God reveals Himself to us in a zillion different ways. Seeing the image of Christ in a Cheeto means that I was able to imagine it. God’s creation is full of signs and things that can and do remind us of Him."

It's a little too early for April Fool's jokes. I stared at Cheesus for a good 5 minutes and all I see is a Cheeto that I would love to eat. I sort of see George Washington with a rifle, but I do not see Jesus. I just don't have the gift in me.

We have finally found something Brit Brit can devote her entire life to. She will give up everything, move to Texas and spend her days worshiping at the altar of Cheesus.

Click here to see the video of Steve carefully showing off his Cheesus. Whatever gets you through the day. I'm betting that Steve just won't be able to resist Cheesus' cheesiness for long. Cheesus will soon live in him.

Thanks Amy