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HoHan has once again went against all our wishes and went back to the blonde. She came out of the Neil George salon yesterday newly blonde and with Samantha Ronson in tow. Samantha is like her little pocket lesbian. She goes everywhere with her. A dykeagachi! I want one.

HoHan looks like one of those desperate middle-aged rock groupies who hang around backstage sipping on their white win spritzers, hoping to at least score with one of the roadies.

And is that a baby bump I see? I guess Ronson's jizz is pretty healthy. Yeah right. It's just a little Diet COKE bloat.

There's really no pretty way of saying it. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Lara Flynn Boyle has straight-up invited the fug into her life. She invited the fug in and even poured it a cup of tea. SAD! She used to be so effin hot. I'm not even playing. She used to be goddess hot.

The woman has guppy face! I want to throw her in a glass bowl and feed her flakes.

Here's Lara leaving Mr. Chow last night in Beverly Hills. Ugh. That can't feel good.

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are in Prague on their "We're The Grossest Couple In the World" tour. The two were leaving a restaurant after lunch when a group of fans and paps mobbed their asses. Paris apparently fell to the floor and ate shit! Why didn't anyone get this shit on video? That would have made my hour. I would have put that shit on a tacky ass video t-shirt and proudly worn it around town.

Paris must have busted her lip, because she kept covering her mouth. Too bad she didn't fall on the wonk. It could've fixed it! Benji probably tripped her. He was pissed off that one of her crabs got into his salad.

Here's gross and grosser in Prague today and in Germany the other day. And yes that skank whore is actually wearing one of her own purses. Well, someone has to!

Ricky Martin was shaking his bon bon in Cambodia this past week to promote the fight against human trafficking. I can't believe I wrote "shaking his bon bon." Sucio! Forget you ever read that. Anyway, yeah Ricky Martin is against human trafficking. Random, but hot.

Ricky arrived in the country on Wednesday and visited several organizations fighting child trafficking and sexual exploitation. He also spent time at rescue shelters and met with the young victims who had been sold by their families into brothels. He told the women, "I'm not going to stop. All of you are my heroes. You are a gift of my life." He praised Cambodia for their solid efforts in trying to stop human trafficking. He plans to take what he's learned to organizations in Latin America.

Ricky needs to hook up with Daryl Hannah. A while ago, I saw her on 20/20 (or a show like that) going undercover in different countries to expose the child sex trade. The bitch put on a wig to disguise herself and she visited the brothels. I was waiting for her to break out into karate moves and beat some ass. She was mega hot. Those two need to team up and fight the good fight.

Above is Ricky at one of the rescue shelters with the child one of the girls. He's doing "the Jessica Simpson" pose, but that's ok.

Thanks M

Amy Wino's Blaaake has already ODed in prison and now it's claimed that he's gotten his ass kicked. Sounds like he's having the vacation of a lifetime. The News of the World reports that a group of fellow inmates jumped his ass, because they thought he had heroin on him. Blaaake is now showing off a huge black eye. A source said that Blaaake has been busted for heroin a few times while in prison, so the inmates figured he was carrying something.

The source went on to say, "There have been lots of threats and for a long time he just kept himself confined to his cell—he'll be staying there a lot more now."

Now Wino and Blaaake have matching busted faces! Blaaake was just being nice and didn't want Wino to feel like she was alone in the falling face department. If his face is all black and blue, I can imagine what his asshole looks like.

The NOTW also claim that despite statements from her people that she's not going into rehab, Wino is going to fly to Malibu to check into Promises. More like Promises Broken.

"Amy knows she's on the fast track to ruin with the way her life's going. She's even been blasted by the United Nations for setting a bad example! With her husband Blake in choky, it's hardly a shock that she's hiding behind the crack cocaine and heroin. She's still a young woman living her life with the unique pressure of massive fame and she obviously can't handle it—just look at the self-harming. This is her chance to make a serious attempt at stopping the rot before it goes too far.?

"No one wants her to end up the way of JANIS JOPLIN."

Uh....huh.... The source needs to say choky again! I like that word.

This mindless shit is perfect for hangover Sunday. It's from the German show "Wetten, dass...?" and features a dude crushing cans with his shoulder blades over and over again. I think I've watched it 20 times. It's doing wonders for my hangover. This was on the biggest show in Germany! Seriously, I need to move to Berlin already.

Source

Thanks Klatsch

Birthday: March 27, 1963
Age: 45
Birth Name: Maria da Graça Xuxa Meneghel

Original Date of HS of the Day: March 28, 2008
Claim to Fame: Xuxa was a super famous idol to Latin American children in the 80s and 90s. She brought her show to the US in 1993. It didn't do as well. Her show was also broadcast to Japan, Israel, Russia and Australia.

Where is she now? She is considered an icon in Brazil and still makes albums and films.

Why is she HS of the Week? I had no idea who this hot slut was until a few days ago. I'm obsessed now and have spent a few hours looking at her shows on YouTube. She's Brazilian, she was big in the 80s and her name starts with an X. She can't go wrong.

The Daily Mail claims Madonna has approached a major Hollywood studio about remaking "Casablanca" with her as the star! Its get better. According to these sources, Madonna wants to set the remake in Iraq. YES! Dear studio heads, make this happen!

A source said, "Madonna is talking about taking the Ingrid Bergman role for herself, even though Bergman was in her 20s when she played Ilsa and Madonna is nearly 50. She wants to update the story and maybe set it in a modern war zone such as Iraq. There is no script yet."

The source went on to say that Madonna's people are merely testing the waters and so far nobody is really interested. I'm interested! We haven't had an amazing flop in a long ass time and this would be epic. Justin Timberlake can co-star and Lindsay Lohan has to be in it. It isn't a flop without La Lahome. The tagline can read, "Not since Showgirls......"

The story is probably a bunch of bullcaca, but I believe that it's crossed Madonna's mind. The woman thinks she can do anything! I'm sure she has thoughts of remaking the Sistine Chapel, because she knows she can do a better job.

First of all, I really hoped that lady farted on The Moss. If you're ass is that close to Kate Moss' face and you don't take the opportunity, then you're a bad and boring person.

Kate Moss landed at LAX last night and created a paparazzi fuckstorm. They act like they've never seen a snagtooth before. Kate arrived with her daughter and some friends with at least two dozens paps on their asses. Everything was set-up for Kate Moss to recreate Bjork's thrilling airport attack on a reporter. I mean, Kate looked piss, her daughter was riding on the trolley and she had the annoying paps all around her. Everything was in place. Unfortunately, Kate decided against that reenactment. It would have been awesome though. I'm sure Kate's rat tooth could do some major pap damage.

This is my final NKCA post. I fucking promise. I punished myself by watching that hell show, so I'm punishing you by posting mad about it. I just had to throw in my coins on what the hell some of these children were wearing. Was Thurston Howell III reincarnated as the Jonas Brothers' stylist? They need new people right now. Even that Drake Bell dude was dressed up for the retirement home. Somebody needs to tell these children that the mothball Metamucil look is not in business.

Below are a couple of WTF guests that showed up last night. Christian from Project Runway?! And that's not Gene Simmons. It's Hal Sparks. He needs to roll that tongue back into his mouth, because this is a children's event. He's turning it into an episode "Catch a Predator." I also threw in some Tish Cyrus to add a little hound dog glamour to this post.