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Nicole Richie is not embracing her new big chichis. Nicole bitched and moaned to OK! Magazine that she doesn't like having big boobs, because she thinks it's slutty. She said, "I am bustier now and I really don't like it. It doesn't really fit with my wardrobe, it's not who I am. I am not someone who is used to wearing a bra or having to wear a bra. I really don't like it."

"I like wearing vintage hippy see-through shirts that aren't slutty on me because there is nothing to look at. Now I have boobs so I can't really wear it because it sends out a different message."

Nicole, it will go away. Embrace them and love them while you can. Big chichis only do good things in this world. She needs to stop crying about it. Besides having big chichis does not mean you're a slut. Look at Nicole's BFF Paris Hilton. That skeezer is flat like a board and she still looks like she enjoys giving blumpkins to strangers. In case you don't know, a blumpkin is when you blow a dude while he's taking a hot dump. I know, such lovely evening conversation.

Speaking of hot dumps. Here's Paris Hilton and her new soulmate Benji Madden out in Los Angeles the other day. These two tools are even wearing each other's initials on matching necklaces. A hot dump indeed!

Eva Mendes is out of rehab and what does one do when they've just dried out? Well, they go out and spend a shit load of cash on overpriced crap! Eva's in NYC where she was photographed coming out of Calvin Klein. Rehab did her good. She looks hot. I just have to nitpick on one little thing, because I'm a cranky homo. I love all the grey and black, but she ruins it with the shoes. This is an Angelina Jolie outfit and that's not a good thing.

I also can't look at Eva without thinking about that blind item about the coke miscarriage. It was probably Kiki Dunst and not Eva. I blame everything on Kiki.

Earlier I posted a story from The National Enquirer that claimed 55-year-old Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer. His rep has confirmed the story to PageSix.com. He said Patrick was diagnosed about a month ago. Patrick is receiving treatment at Stanford University Medical Center.

I really thought the story was all sorts of bogus. This is heartbreaking...

UPDATE: His rep issued this statement to TMZ, "Patrick Swayze has been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and is currently undergoing treatment. Patrick's physician Dr. George Fisher states, 'Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far. All of the reports stating the timeframe of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic.' Patrick is continuing his normal schedule during this time, which includes working on upcoming projects. The outpouring of support and concern he has already received from the public is deeply appreciated by Patrick and his family."

Good thoughts for the Swayze!

Phoebe Price should give herself a pat on the chicken cutlets! It looks like she's starting a trend. Saffron Burrows showed up to the premiere of "The Bank Job" looking like she was smuggling cutlets in her mouth. I think Saffron's chicken cutlets are all-natural and organic though. As natural as PP's!

Here's Saffy with Jason Statham at the premiere.

A website in Australia compiled a list of the "50 Gayest Songs Of All Time" to celebrate Sydney's Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras parade. They received thousands of votes from their readers and revealed the list. You can see it here, but I've posted the Top 20:

20. Dolly Parton "9 to 5"
19. Coming Out Crew "Free, Gay And Happy"
18. Village People "In The Navy"
17. Frankie Goes To Hollywood "Relax"
16. Village People "Macho Man"
15. Judy Garland "Over The Rainbow"
14. Bronski Beat "Smalltown Boy"
13. Diana Ross "I'm Coming Out"
12. Cher "Believe"
11. Gloria Gaynor "I Am What I Am"
10. Alicia Bridges "I Love The Nightlife"
9. Madonna "Vogue"
8. Olivia Netwon-John "Xanadu"
7. Kylie Minogue "Better The Devil You Know"
6. Pet Shop Boys "Go West"
5. Kylie Minogue "Your Disco Needs You"
4. The Weathergirls "It's Raining Men"
3. Gloria Gaynor "I Will Survive"
2. Village People "YMCA"
1. ABBA "Dancing Queen"

I have 18 out of 20 of those songs in my iPod. You shouldn't be surprised. Dancing Queen is gayer than gay, but where the hell is Clay Gayken, Celine Dion and Erasure? The gayest song of all time for me is "Club Tropicana" by Wham!. Every time I listen to that song it bends me over the table and fucks me in the ass. It turned me gay.

VIA Gawker

I really wasn't "anticipating" this motion picture until I saw the trailer. Now I fucking can't wait. Here's the trailer for the "Anna Nicole" movie starring Willa Ford. When this movie goes straight to Starz (which it will) make sure you watch it at 3am after a night of drunken debauchery with a bag of cheese popcorn. This movie was made for 3am viewing.

VIA ONTD

Keith Richards has been named as one of the new wrinkly faces of Louis Vuitton. The 64-year-old stars in an ad campaign that launched this month. A spokeswhore for LV said, "Keith Richards is timeless and ageless. He's lean and mean and he's still current."

Ageless?! Did that bitch say this was a straight face? His face looks like a block of wood.

Keith will donate the money he made from the campaign to Al Gore's Climate Project.

Keith better look over his contract again. I think Louis Vuitton has more in mind. They probably want to turn HIM into a limited-edition Louis Vuitton bag. I mean, you can't find that kind of leather anymore.

Below is a billboard from Keith's new ad campaign.

Oh shit! Who's the baby daddy? It could Samantha Ronson or 20,000 other dudes in Los Angeles. HoHan would have to DNA the entire city. It would be the best episode of Maury ever. It would be like a 10-part series.

Yeah, she's not knocked up. It's just coke bloat....I mean....Diet Coke bloat.

Naughty girls need love too! Remember Samantha Fox? - Hollywood Tuna

Joel Madden said having a baby made him think more. That's not saying much - Popsugar

More Angelina Jolie for St. John ads - IDLYITW

Bar Refaeli is a sexy pirate - Egotastic!

They were dating? Zach Braff & Shiri Appleby are over - Just Jared

Vanessa Hudgens is a rock slut (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Julia Roberts joins Team Ozzy Osbourne - Cityrag

Sarah Silverman's Amy Wino is dead on - Popbytes

Milo Ventimiglia is moving his troll in - Hollywood Rag

Fugly ass purse - A Socialite's Life

I think screwing Troll Dupri is messing with Janet Jackson's brains. Troll dick is hazardous to your style. She needs to not only fire her stylist, but she needs to cut his ass. Who told her that Mariah Carey circa 1990 hair looked hot?

She probably borrowed that lycra mess from LaToya Jackson. I will say that I'm digging her chola lips. She needed to take it to the next level by using a Sharpee for lip liner. Next time, Janet.

Oh and Janet's album is #1 this week. Time to celebrate. Hopefully, she won't celebrate by riding troll dick, because her brains have been through enough.