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Parade Magazine's annual "What People Earn" issue is out and it was basically created to remind us how poor we are. I will think of Miley Cyrus' millions when I'm eating my 25 cent Top Ramen and popcorn dinner. It will make my dinner taste that much grosser. I shouldn't say that. Top Ramen mixed with buttered popcorn is so damn delicious.

Oprah once again topped the list. They should just stop counting her. The woman needs her own currency or something. Better yet, they should just put "Richer Than Fuck" next to her name on these kind of lists. No dollar amount required.

Here's the complete list of what some skanks earned in 2007 and don't even ask me how dumb fuck Dr. Phil earned that much money. Brit Brit must have signed over her fortune to him.

Oprah Winfrey: $260 million
Tiger Woods: $115 million
Steven Spielberg: $110 million
Dr. Phil McGraw: $90 million
50 Cent: $33 million
Gisele Bundchen: $33 million
Miley Cyrus: $18.2 million
Mary-Kate Olsen: $17 million
Ryan Seacrest: $12 million
Trouble (Leona Helmsley’s dog): $12 million
Eli Manning: $11.5 million
Katherine Heigl: $11 million
Jeff Foxworthy: $10 million
Jessica Alba: $9 million
Mariska Hargitay: $7 million
Carrie Underwood: $7 million
Scarlett Johansson: $5 million

The only bitch on this list that deserves all their money is Trouble! The hot bitch has been through a lot and deserves to spend the rest of her days getting anal exfoliation while sipping on filet mignon juice.

I wonder if Miley gives all her money to Jesus, because you know that she makes all her money FOR Jesus. She does everything for Jesus!

Source: UsWeekly

Gerard Butler is not dating Cameron Diaz and he wants that to be known.

Gerard was asked by photographers about the rumors that he's screwing America's favorite pizza face and he said, "If I take a dog for a walk, apparently I'm fucking my dog!"

The dog would probably be better in the sack.

Click here to see the video of Gerard saying it.

Scientists at Durham University in the UK asked 700 straight people which face only wants your pudding for one night and which dude or chick wants to put up with your nagging for the long haul. Scientists concluded that just by looking at someone's facial features you can tell if they want a one night stand or a long-term relationship.

So guess which one is the whore and which one wants to bring you home to mommy?

The study claims the dude on the right will leave you crying in the shower the next day, while the dude on the left wants to play house with you.

The same goes for the picture of the girl. The chick on the right is the mega slut and the chick on the left is the one that will cook you dinner every night.

Scientists said that a square jaw, large jaw and small eyes on a dude usually means they want to tap it just one time. Sluts usually have wide eyes and large lips "like Angelina Jolie" claimed the scientists.

I would sleep with both dudes immediately, so I lose! Well, first I'd take him to get that hair relaxed. Seriously, what the hell is going on with that picture? Maybe that's what they look like after you've had a few too many drinks.

Source

VIA Towleroad

Mario Lopez in "A Chorus Line" on Broadway is the gay gift that keeps on gaying and the shit hasn't opened yet! It opens on Tax Day aka April 15th. Ugh, tax day. GROSS! The IRS should just come get me now.

Anyway, a bunch of photographers were invited to one of his rehearsals today to witness the graceful power of AC Slater!

He should break out this dance during curtain call:

Sarah Larson talks! And she talked to the Las Vegas Review Journal about the night she met her meal ticket, George Clooney. Sarah said she first met eyes with George a while ago, "It was on his birthday three or four years ago at Whiskey at [Vegas's] Green Valley Ranch." She served cocktails at the joint at the time and had a boyfriend.

A few years later, George came to Vegas for the Ocean's Thirteen premiere and started asking around for her. Sarah said they "hung out" and the rest is history.

Asking around for her?! More like he called up the escort agency and asked for their top shelf robot.

Sarah quit her job as a cocktail waitress and recently signed with a Los Angeles based modeling agency. She said Georgie is supportive of her career, "Your boyfriend better be. If they aren't, you gotta kick 'em in the butt and walk away."

Oh please! This bitch is acting like she's the one buying her own ten thousand dollar dresses and flying herself to Italy. Homegirl is sucking Clooney's ass lips for a luxurious lifestyle and there's nothing wrong with that, but be honest. I bet Clooney's ass lips taste like duck!

I still can't get over the fact that she actually talked during this interview. That's going to cost Clooney extra.

A department store in London has started selling $100 shots of cat shit coffee. The beans are harvested from the caca of the civet cat from Indonesia. De Longhi makes the extremely rare coffee that is said to be the best of the best. Only 573 pounds of the coffee is produced a year.

They basically feed the pussy some coffee beans and wait for it to shit. A spokesperson for the store said, "The cats select the best beans to chew. It's rather like a natural filtering process." The shit is available for $100 a shot or in 3.5oz packs for the same price.

And I thought my coffee tasted like shit. That pussy is looking at me like, "Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. I'm already full of shit. I don't need anymore.

Source

Thanks Katherine

Sexy and Cameron are two words that should never go together. EVER. Well, maybe when she was in "The Mask," but that's about it. Cameron talked to W Magazine about everything from how she wanted to be a zoologist to how she's moving to Manhattan, because she's over L.A. Manhattan is over you Cameron and you haven't even moved here yet!

She said, "I’m done with L.A. Those guys [the paparazzi], you can’t get away from them. You have no options because everybody’s in a car. Here, I can walk down the street like everybody else. Not everybody is there to be rich and famous or attach themselves to rich and famous people. People want nothing from you. They just want to say, like, ‘Hey, how’s it going, Cameron?’ I like that interaction. I like to be in a place where I can be open to people and not worry about the consequences.”

What the hell is this stupid bitch talking about?! Manhattan is nothing like "Friends." People do not like being talked to. They don't. I pretend I don't know English whenever I hit the streets. I know how to say "don't know english" in every bad accent.

Cammy also talked about what she really wanted to be when she was little, "I wanted to be a zoologist, to study the sociology of animals. But that’s pretty much what I do now anyway. I thought I’d be on the plains of Africa watching lions, but instead I’m in Hollywood watching train wrecks.”

It's never to late to follow your childhood dreams Cammy. Move to Africa and make love to the lions. They need you.

Ok, not really. Some dude side-swiped her Mercedes while she was eating at The Ivy. It was a close call, let's just say that.

The near-death experience must have scared the pants right off of Chicken Cutlets, because that dress is so short it's about to expose her chicken wings. Even though PP was completely distraught, she managed to pull out a few poses for the camera near her freshly injured Benz. International supermodels don't get any breaks!

Chloe Lattanzi is a freak, but in a totally hot way. Her bedrooms shelves are probably filled with dolls with missing eyes and taxidermy. Last week on "Rock the Cradle," I didn't know what to think of Chloe, but this week she proved she's the fucking crazy star of that show.

She almost got voted out, but luckily there's enough masocists out there that voted for her and she stayed. It was parents' choice and Olivia Newton-John made Chloe sing some song called "I Hate Everything About You." Bitch got into it and I was waiting for her resty filled lips to explode everywhere. I am voting for her every week. Yes, I'm a masocist.

Speaking of pain...Lil B Sure owes the animal community a fucking apology! I am going to send his stupid ass my dog's psychiatry bill, because he's still not over Sure's horrific screeching. There must have been some fucked up messages that only dogs can hear in his screech, because my pooch is still traumatized. How the hell is he going to do Kate Bush like that? Clip is below, but I am not responsible for making your dogs go insane. Send your hate mail to Lil B Sure.

Hayden Panatroll's sexual harassment PSA is unintentionally not funny - Hollywood Tuna

Brit Brit checks out her body - Popsugar

Wino's wonky leg - Just Jared

Is Jakey Poo going to be the Prince of Persia? - TunaFlix

Boy George Bush - Cityrag

Miley Cyrus in a cat suit (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Madge's wet crotch - Hollywood Rag

Carla Bruni costs $91,000 - IDLYITW

Kate Hudson's golden ass - Egotastic!

Jason Patric has seen better days - A Socialite's Life

Mark Ronson doesn't mind if you masturbate to him - Jezebel