Archives

A group of middle-aged moms put together this scintillating calendar of themselves to raise money for their children's tiny, rural school. The 7 women took a tongue-in-cheek approach by posing with tinsel around their privates and covering themselves with umbrellas and other shit like that.

The calendar came out in November 2006 and it looked like it was going to be a big hit. However, this didn't happen. There was a problem with the distributor and the calendar never made the Christmas rush. After that, they couldn't sell the $8 calendar. Now they owe $16,000 to the printer. Well, shit!

One of the women said, "The sad part for us is figuring out what to do with them because it is not something you can recycle." The school they wanted to help only has one room, one teacher and 7 kids spanning 4 grades. They wanted to build a rec center, because things are cramped. They said the government has basically forgotten about the school.

Naturally, the next thing to do is a porn tape. It's cheap, easy and they can upload it onto the internet. Spanish MILFs gone wild! They can even use the fox pelt as a prop.

I need to know where I can buy this avante-garde shit! I'll buy enough copies to wallpaper my entire bathroom.

These sad broads all have looks on their faces like, "Why did I have kids?"

Tomorrow is "Foxy Brown Gets Out Of Jail" day and bitch is planning a Pope-like welcome. Foxy's "people" (aka her auntie and second cousin) want her fans to wait in the parking lot of Rikers with banners and t-shirts with her face on it. She will use the scene for an upcoming Vh1 reality show.

Foxy has served 8-months in the chokey for violating probation after she beat down a couple of manicurists.

TMZ reports that the jail isn't having it. They said the parking lot is way too small for a major crowd.

They need to have a cigarette and relax, because Foxy is not drawing any kind of major crowd. They could hand out free lunch vouchers and they still would only bring in two or three homeless people. And there's no way those homeless people will stick around to wear a Foxy Brown t-shirt. Most of them are MC Lyte fans anyway.

Foxy needs to turn up her hearing aid, so she can clearly hear us all say, "NOBODY CARES!"

Kristy likes cocks and apparently there's a cock that likes her back! The girl is engaged to be married. No, the lucky douche is not the horse she sold to get to the American Idol audition. He's forever mad at her.

Kristy Lee Cook told UsWeekly that she became engaged to her 25-year-old dude, Andrew Dobner, on March 17th. She kept the news secret because she "wanted to be focused on Idol." Focused on making my ears vomit.

He proposed again last night, "He actually got down on his knee this time. He owed it to me!" They are planning to get married next June. Totally knocked up!

Hopefully, this ho gets married, has 30 kids, gets super obese and is confined to her bed for the rest of eternity.

She's not going away, right? Get the RAID!

I'm really starting to doubt Amy Wino's intense love for Blaaaake. She constantly misses visits and she missed his Birthday yesterday! The Sun reports that it was Blaaake's 26th yesterday and Wino failed to show. She hasn't visited him in over week while she's busy recording outside of London.

Now was Wino's chance to bake Blaaaaake a cake with a file or crack pipe in it. I'm sure the boys baked him a delicious radiator cake using powdered mashed potatos, tap water and some rat droppings.

I doubt she even screams Blaaaaaake anymore. It's more like, Blaaake.

This shit is gross, so I'm warning you now.

Yale University senior art major, Aliza Shvarts, will display her art project this Tuesday. Aliza artificially inseminated herself as often as possible and then periodically took drugs to induce miscarriages. She did this over and over again for 9 months. Her exhibition includes video recordings of the forced miscarriages and preserved collections of the blood from the process.

Aliza wouldn't say how many sperm donors she used, but she claims none of them were paid. She also wouldn't say about how many times she inseminated herself.

She told the Yale Daily News that she didn't do it for "shock value," but hopes it will spark discussion on the relationship between art and the body. You can read all the details at the Yale Daily News. It fucking made me want to puke. My non-existent uterus hurts.

Some seem to think that Aliza is pulling a major hoax on everyone. Either way, the bitch has problems.

Aliza is probably wondering why her stomach has been growling so much lately. It's not her stomach! It's her fucking ovaries and uterus begging for mercy.

UPDATE: Yale issued this statement. It looks like the bitch didn't impregnate herself and didn't induce miscarriages.

Ms. Shvarts is engaged in performance art. Her art project includes visual representations, a press release and other narrative materials. She stated to three senior Yale University officials today, including two deans, that she did not impregnate herself and that she did not induce any miscarriages. The entire project is an art piece, a creative fiction designed to draw attention to the ambiguity surrounding form and function of a woman’s body.

She is an artist and has the right to express herself through performance art.

Had these acts been real, they would have violated basic ethical standards and raised serious mental and physical health concerns.

Well, that's that. The girl still offended me with those boots and leopard shorts though!

Image Source VIA Jezebel

Thanks Cam

It's Al Pacino, so I would hit it. I don't care if the dick was like a Jello mold. It's Al Pacino! Al could only hit it from the back though, because I would easily mistake that hair for chocolate cotton candy. I doubt Al wants me to take a bite out of his precious locks.

Below is Al with some hot boxer named Joe Calzaghe and Alicia Witt at the premiere of 88 Minutes in Las Vegas last night.

I am so happy for Heidi that this touching moment was captured on camera.

Here's a few more "candid" moments of twit and twat in NYC yesterday.

Bart Simpson has returned to the TV sets of Venezuela where he belongs. The Simpson was pulled from its 11am slot earlier this month and replaced with Titwatch Baywatch, because the show is too nasty for children or something like that.

A spokeswhore for station Televen told The Associated Press that Bart and friends will be shown Wednesdays at 7 p.m. every week.

The station is still facing fines and could be taken off the air for up to 3 days as punishment for keeping the show in the morning after being warned.

They do not play around! And I thought we were harsh. If Janet Jackson exposed her tittay on Venezuelan TV, she would have been executed.

I knew that in a chicken fight between Bart and Hugo Chavez, Bart would win. He always does.

Suck Bobby! Suck! - A Socialite's Life

Bridge Moynahan is not going to like this - Popsugar

Kim Kardashian makes me ralph - Egotastic!

Aubrey O'Day meant to do this - Hollywood Tuna

Jackie Warner meant to do this - Cityrag

She-Hulk Biel has ass crack - IDLYITW

Miley Cyrus is putting out an autobiography, but she's not the one writing it - Just Jared

Pamela Anderson thinks a blanket is a shawl - Hollywood Rag

Michael Caine gets wet?! (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Jude Law is having issues with the fact that his hairline sort of looks like a patch of lady pubes. He's been seeing experts on what he can do to save his hair. His ex-wife, Sadie Frost, has told him to get advice from experts in Chinese medicine, homoeopathy and acupuncture.

Jude just needs to embrace his pube patch. Does he really want to look like John Travolta? A furry cat belongs in your lap and not on top of your head.

Don't get me wrong. When this starts happening to me, I will drink donkey milk to keep my locks from leaving my head.