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CNN's very own Richard Quest was arrested this morning outside of Central Park in NYC for breaking park curfew. The park shuts down from 1 to 6 in the morning. The fuzz noticed Richard in the park at around 3:40 this morning. As they were walking his ass out of there, he told them, "“I have meth in my pocket."

That stupid fuck! Didn't he learn anything from Lindsay Lohan? You're supposed to keep your mouth shut until they find it. When they finally find it, you say, "What? I don't know what that is. These aren't my pants."

Maybe Richie thought the cops would be into it and they could all go back into the park for some gay sex.

Richie, who is British and openly gay, hosts “CNN Business Traveler” and “Quest."

Next time Richie, use Craigslist for your tina-fueled sexapades. It's free and simple. Um...so I've heard....

This is not a sentence I thought I would ever write: Rudy Huxtable will play a stripper in the new Tyler Perry movie. Keep your chonies on, Rudy!

Keshia Knight Pulliam will star as a jailed hooker in "Tyler Perry's Madea Goes To Jail." Guess what the plot is? Madea goes to jail! You're a genius. Madea gets arrested for whatever reason. She comes to the aid of a hooker named Candy (played by Rudy) who is being bullied by some chick named Big Sal. Raven-Symone better play Big Sal or I'm going to be pissed. Rudy and Olivia must be reunited

I bet Tyler fucking hates Madea. He probably beats up the fat suit behind closed doors. It's the one character he's always going to have to play. The poor bitch will have to be buried as Madea, because his fans will demand it.

I admit that I've seen all the Madea movies. WELL! I like men dressed as fat women. That's funny!

Source

Madonna is about to get a whole lot richer. She's expected to sign a major contract by playing two shows in Dubai for $50 million. The plan is for Vadge to close her world tour in Dubai this November. The Sun reports that if each show is 90-minutes long, she'll make around $165,000 a minute or $300,000 for every crotch thrust.

She's also in talks to perform at a private party in Dubai for $10 million. She recently said that she wouldn't do privates parties for less than $10 million. The bitch got her wish.

A source said, “Madonna is about to break another record by playing the most lucrative concert of her whole career – or anyone’s career for that matter. The figure is so big because of her new contract with Live Nation and the huge funds available from private promoters in Dubai.”

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Great, now she can afford to get Lourdes waxed." Ok, I was thinking that, but I'm putting the blame on you. Honestly, I don't mind the uni. I sort of love it. '08 is all about the uni. Trust this.

Here's money hungry and her daughter outside their gym in London.

Oscar the cockatoo has been dubbed "The World's Ugliest Bird." Oscar has lived at Florida's humane society for the past 12 years. She has a disease called beak and feather disease. It causes her feathers to grow all wonky and irritating, so she plucks them out. She still has feathers on her head, because she can't reach those. Eventually the disease will affect her beak and nails.

Yes, she's a girl. Couldn't they have named her Oscarina, at least?

Oscar has become an internet superstar, because the bitch has serious moves. She dances around her cage...naked. SLUT!

Oscar is not the world's ugliest bird. That title will forever and always belong to Paris Hilton.

Yeah, why not? I'd get with that. I mean, he's Nicolas Cage's son. It wouldn't hurt. Well, he looks like he would be into biting off my cheek Cape Fear-style, but it's worth the risk.

This is Weston Cage with his death metal band, "Eyes of Noctum" and his mama je'e, Christine Fulton.

Billy Bush has a new radio show?! The Access Hollywood douche? I can only stand him on Access Hollywood, because he looks like a jolly elf and that's mildly entertaining. I don't even want to imagine having to be entertained by his voice alone. Eeesh.

Anyway, HoHan was a guest on his radio show today and talked about what a tool her daddy is. Michael Lohan spoke to the media about how HoHan needs new people in her life.

She said, "I just wish that he wouldn't go and talk to the media. It's not attractive to me, it really upsets me and I wish he would stop. ... I love my father. I just don't know why he's doing what he's doing. It's a weird situation, very odd."

You know what's not attractive to me? Your hair! Ok, glad we could get that out of the way. This bitch needs to be beamed back to Earth if she doesn't know why daddy talks to the media. It's because he's a Lohan and Lohans crave media attention the same way they crave narcotics.

HoHan also told Billy she won't be in White Oprah's hopefully amazing reality show, "Let them take the distraction away from me for a bit, it would help." She doesn't mean that.

VIA People

Manicurists all over the Tri-State area have closed shop early upon hearing the news that Foxy Brown has been released from the chokey. 29-year-old Foxy served 8 months of a 12 month sentence for attacking 2 hos over a $20 manicure.

Foxy is due back in court on May 5th for allegedly pulling a Naomi Campbell on a neighbor. Send the bitch back to jail! She already knows the lay of the land.

Foxy is already back to work. She's filming a Vh1 reality show and has an album coming out soon. That's all fine, but I bet you the bitch isn't going to find a single sole that wants to work on her nails. Foxy better pick up a Lee Press On nail kit at her local Rite-Aid, because she's going to have to do that shit herself.

Olive Newton-John's insane daughter, Chloe Lattanzi, is the only reason I wish this shit on Vh1 each week. The girl scares the fuck out of me. It's a horror show. I can't turn away.

Last night, she covered her mother's "I Honestly Love You." She completely tore it to shreds and did some Euro goth version. Dancers dressed like condoms or something scurried around Chloe while she shreaked and moaned. Bizarre. The girl should move to Germany, because she would be bigger than The Hoff.

Belinda Carlisle also adores Chloe. I think Belinda is biased though, because it looks like the two share the same plastic surgeon.

Unibrow polygamist wife is the hottest bitch alive - Best Week Ever

Brit Brit has some serious bills to pay - Popsugar

Zoe Kravitz, I can see your nipples - Egotastic!

The same goes for Nicole Narain (NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Emma Watson is a rich bitch - IDLYITW

Macaulay Culkin's girlfriend in GQ - Hollywood Tuna

The Zombification of Katie Holmes continues - Just Jared

Dita Von Teese sues over a broken swan - Hollywood Rag

Happy Almost 420! Here's some celeb smoking joints - Cityrag

McConaughey's gorgeous Fabio 'do - A Socialite's Life

That's what Star Magazine claims. Remember when Jessica Simpson was in the hospital for a "kidney infection." Star reports that it was more than that. A source said that hardcore drinking with Tony Romo landed the twat in the hospital. Jessica tried to keep up with Romo and his friends, but she couldn't hang like that.

The source said her health issued were due to "drinking an obscene amount of alcohol." Lightweight! You are an embarrassment to this country if you have to go into the hospital for binge-drinking. That's what throwing up is for! Drop and reload.

This sourcie (Daisy) also claims Jessica asked for a pregnancy test, "She was three weeks late and convinced she was pregnant. She was feeling really weak and really scared. She was unraveling."

Wait.....maybe she's the ONE that pregnant! I saw this on Desperate Housewives. Asshole Simpson is going to pretend she's knocked up, but Jessica is carrying the baby. If Asshole's baby comes out with a frog mouth, we'll know the truth.