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YO MAMA! Yo mama probably would make for a better winner. Anway, find out who won this dog and pony show after the jump. JUMP!!!!

If Jodie Foster can't keep her vagina in her pants, who can? I know I can't. The National Enquirer claims Jodie Foster cheated on her woman of 14 years, Cydney Bernard, with movie producer Cindy Mort (above). Cindy used to bump oysters with Melanie Mayron from thirtysomething. The two crazy gals have two kids together. Jodie and Cydney are also raising two kids together.

Lesbian homewreckers exist?! I thought they were just an urban legend.

A source said, "Although she and Cydney remain under the same roof at the moment, the relationship has been shattered. They’ll continue to raise the boys together and try to keep a loving family unit despite their breakup. The love is gone."

Jodie plans to move to another one of her Hollywood Hills home and Cydney will live in another.

There's really no such thing as monogamy anymore. Lesbians are supposed to set the bar.

And how many times do you think Jodie has accidentally screamed "Cydney" while doing the scissor with Cindy? Awkward!!!!

Thanks Christine

I shouldn't hate on Aubrey O'Day, because I have at least 200 pictures of myself in the same pose. Sluts can't help it. We see a poster of a dude and we just have to act the fool on it. Aubrey is taking it to a whole new level, because that picture of Donnie Klang is on the back of a van. She probably got frekay in the back of that van earlier in the evening. No shame. I'm really starting to fall in love this raggedy cotton ball.

I'm going to give her two claps for her amazing slut 'do. You see, it keeps the hands free. I'm sure she's storing condoms, KY, Binaca and some toothpaste in there. The toothpaste adds a little zing to normal blowjobs. It's her spécialité.

Here's raggedy cotton ball outside Spotlight in NYC and also at the FiFi Awards. T-R-A-M-P!!!

Do you like a little fug with your ice cream? If the answer is yes, then you should have dragged your lazy ass to Baskin Robbins in Los Angeles today. Tori Spelling was scooping out ice cream to expectant mothers for National Pregnant Fug Day. No, it was for "Wednesday is Bump Day." Still gross.

At least Tori Spelling is learning a new skill. That way when people finally stop hiring her ass and the money dries up, she has a second career to fall back on.

Not only is Tori Spelling ruining ice cream today, but she's also ruining the 90210 spin-off. Not that it needs help in that department. Kristin's E! is reporting that Tori was written into the pilot after she begged producers to guest star. Tori will be back as Donna Martin, but will only utter a few lines.

Ian Ziering is also interested in guest starring in the pilot and it's close to happening. The producers are really missing the point here. Why bother with all those cows when you only need one bitch to make this show complete. Three words: Brenda Michelle Walsh. BMW! I don't think her middle name was Michelle, but it sounds right to me.

Star Magazine reports that Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder are a new couple. They're good together. They are both responsible for pretty much ruining "Bram Stoker's Dracula" with their wooden chemistry. Hopefully, their dates will consist of acting classes and colonics.

The original Wino and Keanu are currently filming "The Privates Lives of Pippa Lee" together. A source said they are always in each other's trailers. The source went on to say, "They are also always hugging on the set. The chemistry is really electric." Electric? In their pretty, little dreams. There's nothing electric about two pieces of wet wood.

OG Wino has also been spending time at Keanu's NYC apartment during breaks in filming.

They belong together. Keanu lives like a homeless person, so at least he doesn't have to worry about her stealing anything. Unless he wants her to steal his heart. Awwww. BARF! Donkey punch me if I ever get that sappy again.

Exquisite lucite heels with a built-in tip jar? These things have Shauna Sand's name all over it. One night in these and Shauna will make 25 cent a killing! She can use the extra money to buy more lip gloss and eye shadow from the Wet 'N Wild section at Rite-Aid.

Seriously, there's no need for shoes. We already have a built-in tip jar. It's called our ass cheeks.

Source VIA Boing boing

Xtina's body is back! I don't know where it went, but it's a good thing she got it back. She might need it later on. In the new issue of UsWeekly, Xtina talks about her huge, wonky chichis.

She said, "It's kind of hilarious! I've never fit into an E-cup before. I look at my husband and go, 'Guess what size this bra is?' And when I tell him, he's just amazed. We keep the tags that prove it, to look back for memory's sake!"

I'm not sure how bra sizes work, but I choose to believe her. Silicone mixed leche makes the chichis grow.

She lost 40lbs in 4 months? Damn, she's slow. A trip to the lipo doctor would have done the trick in 40 minutes! Please, you know that's what she really did.

Image: Cover Awards