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Yesterday, I posted about Phoebe Price's cottage cheese thighs making the cover of The National Enquirer and look what we have here..... PP heard my pleas and posed with her latest cover for the paps today. This is exactly why PP will forever be "Hot Babe of the Century!" PP is an International supermodel that has graced covers of magazines that I can't even pronounce, yet she still found time to pose with our little local newspaper. She truly is a legend in Michael K's mind only.

PP even found time to stop and smell the sunflowers. Seriously, posing with sunflowers? Those Ann Geddes' babies need to watch and learn. This is how you really strike a pose next to a sunflower.

In my next life, I want to come back as one of PP's freckles! Wait...does she have freckles down there? Perhaps, I should rethink my wish.

It's been a while since I've caught up with Alexyss K. Tylor and her words of wisdom. This time around, Alexyss is talking shit, literally. Alexyss just doesn't understand why a lot of you will stay at your man's house for 2 or 3 days and let him do you in every hole, but you won't take a shit in his bathroom. Alexyss is really concerned that you're fucking up your bowels. I agree with Alexyss and that's why I always carry a pack of matches in my pocket. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Nothing will eliminate the scent of fresh doody quite like a freshly lit match.

Alexyss speak the truth. I nominate her for United States Secretary of Health and Human Services!

And this video is pretty NSFW. I doubt you want your boss to hear some woman talking about sucking dick and exploding bowels....or maybe you do?

VIA Crunk + Disorderly

Sarah Larson is addicted to "Rock of Love." I knew she was one of those classy call girls and not the trashy kind. Sarah said that when she fucked herself up in a motorcycle accident, she glued herself to marathons of the show. She even got George Clooney addicted.

She told Harper's Bazaar, "We caught ourselves rooting for someone or getting frustrated. And we were like, 'This is sad.'" Sad?! Sarah probably knows half of those twats from working the ho stroll with them. Sarah would be on Rock of Love if she wasn't licking Clooney taint.

Sarah's biggest credit is being a contestant on Fear Factor, but she said she would not have dated George if he was also a reality star. "If George had been on a reality show, I don't think I'd have talked to him. It would have been like, 'That's nice.' "I don't know. He still wants to date me, and I ate a scorpion." That's exacty why he did choose her, because if she'll put a scorpion in her mouth, she'll put anything in her mouth. Georgie totally likes it dirty. That being said, Sarah is turning out to be one of the smartest hos in Hollywood.

Here's Sarah at some event for Giorgio Armani the other night. Last year, Sarah was probably getting groped by Giorgio the bus boy at the bar she worked at and now she's clicking champagne glasses with Giorgio Armani.

What the fuckity fuck did I just watch? Am I high? Did somebody slip me an acid tab?

I watched this mess at least 5 times and I still have ten thousand questions.

Okay, this short movie was made from the 20s or 30s. It's apparently a series of shorts. This one is called "Trouble" and stars Queenie the dog as some sort of tart who finds herself in a situation with some gangster dog. By situation I mean he's assaulting her ass. The most disturbing thing about this little clip, is that the dogs walk on their hind legs the whole time. I don't even want to know how they got the dogs to do that.

I must go and cuddle with my dog now and promise him that I'll never make him wear clothes again.

VIA Best Week Ever

First of all, I love that phantom hand in the pictures above. It should have really went for it and picked Liv's nose. Anyways, Liv Tyler and her pocket-sized husband, Royston Langdon, have called it a day. Every marriage in Hollywood has an expiration date.

Liv's spokeswhore confirmed to People, "Liv Tyler and Royston Langdon have confirmed their separation. They remain good friends and devoted parents to their son Milo and are requesting that their family's privacy be respected at this time." Fuck privacy! They started it by issuing a statement, so it's on. Yeah, who really cares.

Liv and Royston were married in 2003. They had a son in 2005. They split up 2008. You do the math. I don't know what that meant.

Liv probably got sick of trying to tweeze his brows all the time. Looking at that shit on a daily basis will drive any couple to divorce.

Remember that story from March about the chick who sat on a toilet for so long that she became one with it? Her boyfriend, Kory McFarren, pleaded not guilty yesterday to a misdemeanor charge of mistreatment of a dependent adult.

In February, Kory called the fuzz, because his girlfriend, Pam Babcock, wouldn't get off the toilet. When police arrived, they found that Pam's skin was attached to the toilet. They had to remove the seat in order to get her to the police. She had been inside the bathroom for two years and medical professionals think she had been sitting on the toilet for at least a month. Kory said she was too scared to come out.

Pam is still recovering in a Witchita, Kansas hospital. That fucking sucks. I really hope her ass cheeks grow back.

Kory's first pre-trial hearing is June 13th. He faces up to a year in prison. Shouldn't his punishment be 2-months on the pot? See how he likes losing his ass cheeks.

This moron also faces a felony charge of lewd and lascivious behavior for a different incident. Kory allegedly showed off his genitals to a neighbor girl who was a minor.

Source

ABC News has declared that bushy eyebrows are back! I don't think I ever got the telegram that they ever left. They claim Ashley Olsen's bushy caterpillars caused a "commotion" at the Costume Institute Gala. A commotion? Did Ash's bush brows cause Anna Wintour to choke on a buffalo wing or something?

That troll's brows ain't shit! Look at Lourdes! That's how you do bushy brows the right way. Ash needed to go home and try again.

Fuck this bushy brow "trend." We should stand together united against it. We should all take a Lady Bic to our eyebrows and draw on new one with a Sharpie. If you don't have a Sharpie, you can burn down a match for a few seconds and use that. You go first....

I mean, look at this bitch below. This kind of chola glamour will never go out of style. It's timeless.

Are times that tough for Sally that she has to get into bed with this common trollop? I hope Sally thinks long and hard about the damage she's done to her reputation while she's dipping her vagina in Antifreeze, because Wonky infected her with some jungle disease. Sally has always been a trusted name in discount beauty products and now I just don't know!

Wonky launched her line of whore hair in a box for Sally Beauty Supply in NYC today.

The bitch looks like she bathed in a tub of Motorex Wet Lube. Come to think of it, she probably did bathe in a tub of wet lube. It keeps the coochie scabies down.

Fuggie Fug was making her way out of Waverly Inn in NYC last night when she went doooown. It's a good thing she didn't land flat on her meth face. That's my favorite feature on her. Clumsy ho is right!

Seriously, that picture of her ankle doing the Exorcist is going to give me nightmares.

TMZ has video of Fuggie going down, if you care.