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20-year-old Brooke Hogan is "totally freaked out" over her 48-year-old mother dating a 19-year-old tool. Yes, that dude is 19. Yes, in human years. Brooke told E! News, "I personally don’t like it at all or condone it, but she’s my mom, so I have to show her support." Say what?

Brooke also said that Linda's new beast-boy or whatever we're calling him is one of Nick Hogan's classmates. She went on to say, "I went to school with him. He was a grade under me...Me and Nick know him well. Me and Nick are two years apart, and he was right between us (in school)."

The Hogan family is a house full of OLD. They make the Lohans look like pre-schoolers.

Brooke should be freaked out. Both her parents are dating twats that look like their kids. They all look the same! What if they accidentally get into the wrong bed at night (it happens)? Barf inducer.

Brit Brit left Bally's gym yesterday looking like she was freshly sprayed down with Cheeto dust. She's looking a little burned, so they probably switched to the Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Speaking of, I can't find those rojo caliente cheetos anywhere! I used to eat bags of that nasty shit daily, but it makes your fingers look like you've been in Tommy Girl's no-no hole.

In other BS news, the Daily Star claims Brit Brit has already bought her burial plot! Daddy Spears allowed Brit Brit to go to a film screening at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Brit Brit got bored while watching the movie so she wandered around and found Rudolph Valentino's grave. This made her think of Marilyn Monroe and that's when she told her friend she wanted to be buried there.

A source said, "She’s fascinated that Marilyn asked her favorite make-up artist to make her look beautiful after she died and picked her own burial plot. So when Britney saw Rudolph Valentino’s grave at the cemetery she shrieked and said she wanted one. She told her aides: ‘I ’m going to live for ever so I want to be brought to the Forever Cemetery when I’m 101.’” Wait...what if she isn't dead when she's 101? She wants to be brought there anyway?

This just isn't true. Brit Brit doesn't want to be buried with the regular folk! She wants to be cremated and mixed with her two true loves: frapp powder and Cheeto dust. Me too, actually.

Who the fuck knew a pre-nose-job Halle Berry dated Danny Wood of New Kids on the Block. Homegirl couldn't even get her some Jordan Knight?! Danny was like the basement new kid. The one we never talked about. It was probably Danny's braided rat tail that lured her in. And remember those ruffled shirts Halle is wearing? Oh hell no. I can't....

Here's more vintage NKOTB hotness. Seriously, they should wear this shit on their new tour. Go all out!

Worst news ever. Over the past few months, there's been a few stories about Paul Newman fighting cancer. Last March, he denied the claims. The L.A. Times' Dish Rag now reports that 83-year-old Paul has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Paul is a known former chain-smoker.

Paul is reportedly receiving outpatient treatment at the Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York.

There's been no confirmation from the hospital or Paul's people.

Not Paul! Who's going to make us delicious lemonade? Let's just choose to believe this is an awful rumor. We should all think good thoughts over a huge bowl of Newman's Own popcorn.

UPDATE: Paul's rep told E! that the story is "not true." I believe him. Paul Newman cannot tell a lie.

Thanks Marissa

Mark Ronson, 32, on his sister SamRo, 30, dating HoHan:

"My sister and Lindsay make a cute couple, don’t they?"

Depends on the lighting. For the record, SamRo and HoHan have never confirmed that they're bumping bald kitties. Mark is just stirring the pot and I wish he did it on YouTube.....with no clothes on. And who knew SamRo was fucking 30? HoHan's only 21 and looks like she can be SamRo's mama je'e.

Source

Wonky McValtrex isn't the only raggedy tampon looking for a best friend on MTV. Brody Jenner has just been given his own reality show on MTV called "Bromance." Yes, Bromance. And it gets even douchier. The six episode series will follow a bunch of dudes as they compete to win Brody's love.....I mean...his friendship.

This douche extravaganza will be produced by Ryan Gaycrest. You know Gaycrest cried when he was told he couldn't be a contestant.

Challenges will include circle jerk on a pizza and a Shia LaDouche bitch slap match. You know, typical hazing shit.

Each episode will end with a "hot tub elimination ceremony." That reminds of that disgusting video of the girl shitting in a hot tub! I'm sure Brody's ceremony will be very similar. A hot tub full of shit! Anyway, the eliminated dude will have to get out of the hot tub and leave the house dripping wet. I'm sure Gaycrest is hiding cameras in the jacuzzi jets.

Source: People

Thanks Mike

Ceiling eyes Audrina and LC from "The Hills" got into a backyard fight over some stupid ass photo shoot. TMZ reports that LC came home to find Audrina in the middle of a shoot with some magazine. LC flipped out because she promised exclusive pictures of their backyard to another magazine. Exclusive pictures of a dumb backyard? These fake celebrities are so weird. Both of these dumb whores need to have a cupcake and sit down.

Audrina apparently got approval from LC's manager. She has one of those?

Can you imagine seeing these two boring ass fools trying to fight without a script? LC probably kept yelling "LINE! LINE!" and didn't know what to say when nobody responded.

Michelle Duggar and her weepy vagina beat out Alannah Currie, Norma Stitz, John Davidson and Sonia from Operacion Repo to become May's Hot Slut of the Month! I approve. It will be a long ass summer for Michelle. She's knocked up with baby #18 and due later this year or early next year.

I seriously need to get a new picture of this hot ho. When she pops out her latest creation, I'm taking her to Glamour Shots. Below is a new video of Michelle talking about her pregnancy. She says she's craving pickles. Slut! That's what got her into this mess in the first place.

Thanks to all who voted!

The hottest prom in history! Finally some real fucking fashion - Crunk + Disorderly

Kate Hudson's enormous rack - Hollywood Tuna

Mimi needs some spray-on abs again - Popsugar

Helena Christensen is a total MILF - IDLYITW

Pussy vs. plastic cake box - Cityrag

HoHan and SamRo's threesome with Lily Allen - A Socialite's Life

Spitzi's main ho in a bikini with a douchalicious tattoo - Egotastic!

Whoopi Goldberg's erotic moment (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Marky Mark wants 9 kids. Slut - Just Jared

Hillary Clinton gets a free supply of vodka. Lush - Hollywood Rag

Why is Justin Timberlake still around? - Towleroad

A little baby in China was reportedly born with an extra peen on his back. The baby was born to a farmer and his wife in China's Henan province. The Sun reports that the condition is called fetus in fetu. He was taken to the hospital and the extra peen was removed. Thankfully, baby is fine after surgery and all is well. Dick happens!

Why can't I wake up with an extra dick on my back? I mean, a permanent dick on my back. It would make life so much more interesting.

The NSFWish picture of baby with a peen on his back is after the jump. JUMP!!!