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Prostitute Tranny Infested Sperm is so sowwy for calling Denise Richards "the n word" in a voicemail from 2005 that leaked briefly on the internet and was quickly pulled. Yeah, I was really hoping for the remix.

Not only did he called her the n word, but he sweetly told Denise that he hopes she "rots in fucking hell" and then he called her a "fucking cunt." So that's where she learned the word! Although, "fucking cunt" might be her birth name. We should look into that.

Charlie should seriously put these touching words into a love song to Denise. He's such a poet!

Charlie released this statement, “I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, an African-American, who was my best man at my first two weddings. And for the record, my children did not show up today for a custodial visit without explanation. So three and one-half years later, the reasons that caused the anger and frustration displayed on that voice mail continue to be manifested on a daily basis.” He went on to say, "But Denise is still a fucking dumb cunt." No, he didn't say that, but he wanted to.

Denise said she has no idea how the tapes got leaked. They were court files from two years. Oh...Denise. She doesn't give herself enough credit! Leaking is what she does best. No seriously, I think her old clients paid extra for that service.

She went on to say, “It is what it is and this is something that I’ve been dealing with for a long time. I imagine that the public is bored and sick and tired of hearing about Charlie and Denise and our public custody and divorce battle. I’m sure everyone is tired of it.”

But don't forget to watch her reality shit show, "Denise Richards: I'm Constipated!"

Source: MSNBC

22-year-old Charlotte Church is knocked up again! Charlotte barely popped out her first baby, Ruby Megan, last September. This will be her second kid with her hot man piece, Gavin Henson. The look on his face in the picture above is the same look he gave Char when he found out.

Char announced the glorious news on her website:

Here we go again!!!

Charlotte Church and Gavin Henson are delighted to announce that they are expecting another baby. The couple are thrilled, as are their immediate families. Meanwhile, Charlotte has confirmed that she will fulfill her commitment to Channel 4 to present the third series of The Charlotte Church Show in July and August of this year.

Homegirl didn't even let the chocha have a moment to itself before she put it back to work. And you know her chichis and ass are going to explode.....again.

And since we're on the rare subject of Charlotte Church, below is her amazing duet with Amy Wino. I'm sure I've posted this shit before, but it deserves an encore. This is how NOT to sing Jacko:

VIA People

Becks will be in San Francisco tonight where he will show off several pictures from the new Emporio Armani panties campaign. Hmm....I'm thinking Becks had a little help in the dick department. That shit looks like a dill pickle.

It doesn't matter. I'd still hit it. I'd take that dill pickle and shove it in his mouth, so that I won't have to hear a girly peep from him. I mean, can you imagine hearing Minnie Mouse scream, "Take that dick!" Total buzzkill.

VIA Towleroad

The National Enquirer is reporting that 17-year-old Jamie Lynn is going to pop out a baby sometime tomorrow. Sources tell them that she had an ultrasound last week that showed her baby may be in the breech position, so the docs decided to schedule her c-section for tomorrow.

Brit Brit, Daddy Spears and the rest of the clan is currently in Kentwood.

I'm a little disappointed to hear that JL is going to give birth in a hospital. I was secretly hoping she would go into labor in the middle of Piggly Wiggly. That would be poetic.

Casey and Jamie Lynn are reportedly having a girl. They are planning to name her a combination of both their names, Cailynn or Cassie. Boring. If they are going to go that route, they should give her a spicier name like Jaca or Seymie.

And everything will be fine now that Brit Brit is there! Jamie Lynn will pop out a healthy baby Jaca and everyone will celebrate over possum fritters and Budweisertinis.

Image: INFDaily.com

According to Time Magazine, something called "elder porn" is currently the rage in Japan. Quick! Somebody get on the next flight to Tokyo and bring me back some of these treasures. I would do a google search, but I don't want to put my computer through that kind of trauma. It's already been through too much.

Anyway, Time spoke to 74-year-old Shigeo Tokuda, one of the biggest stars in elder porn. Shigeo is not his real name because his wifey and kids have no idea that he's a porn star. Shigeo has starred in more than 350 movies in the past 14 years. Jenna Jameson doesn't have shit on this pepaw.

Shigeo's movies have become best sellers for Glory Quest, the porn company he works for. The PR bitch for Glory Quest explained why elder porn is so successful for them, "If we only make standard fare, we cannot beat other studios. There were already adult videos with Lolitas or themes of incest, so we wanted to make something new. A relationship between wife and an old father-in-law has enough twist to create an atmosphere of mystery and captivate viewers' hearts." Their hearts? I think it's captivating something a little lower than their hearts. Like their bowels.

Shigeo said that he plans to work as long as they continue casting him, "People of my age generally have shame so they are very hesitant to show their private parts, but I am proud of myself doing something they cannot. That doesn't mean that I can tell them about my old-age pensioner job."

Unfortunately, Time didn't ask the hard-hitting questions. We all want to know how big the dick is and how does he keep it up? I'm guessing it looks just like a turtle head and he rubs a little wasabi on the tip to keep it going.

Thanks Samara

Last night on "America's Got Hoff Talent," Derrick Barry did Brit Brit Spears better than she does herself. Brit Brit should seriously consider hiring this bitch to be her doppelgänger. She can sit at home, eating Cool Ranch Doritos nachos while he does all the shit she doesn't want to do. He can take care of her kids, badly lip-sync during performances and take regular showers for her. Actually, nobody would ever buy it, because he's hotter than her ass!

VIA ONTD

Lance Armstrong and Snow White's missing dwarf are still going strong. She needs to reward herself with a huge scoop of bubblegum ice cream, because this is turning out to be one of her longest relationships. His too. I hope they get in hours of fuckey fuckey times, because their expiration date is nearing!

Should we even bother giving them a couple name? Yeah, why not? I'm thinking NutKat or StrongSon. Both of those sound like gay leather bars. Perfect!

Here's Lancey and Kate leaving dinner in NYC last night.

A hot reader just sent in Shauna Sand's yearbook picture from Muirlands Junior High School in La Jolla, CA. Who knew that girl would grow up to become one of the most ravishing beauties in the world! It's amazing what a little Clorox, hair relaxer, moustache wax and a pair of exquisite lucite heels can do!

I am still in shock at the sudden loss of an American icon (see below). Luckily, the stunning goddess known as Shauna Sand is here to help us through this trying time.

The regal beauty will advise us from her lucite diaphragm throne. Seriously, I think that's a giant diaphragm. She would probably just tell us to put on some elegant lucite heels and strut down Robertson Blvd. If only it was that simple.

Here's the poster child for everything elegant getting her polyester tresses tended to yesterday.

Mimi La Rue is DEAD! WHY?!!! WHY?!!!! Why didn't God take Tori me instead?!!! Paula Abdul is right! There is no God! NOT TODAY! WHY?! FUCK! Now I finally have a reason to go outside and dick slap those damn birds that have been waking me up at 4 in the morning! I'm so upset!

It's true. People has reported this truly awful news. She passed away from natural causes yesterday at the age of 11. She was surrounded by her family and died at home. Tori said, "She was a star and a true lady, and she will be missed greatly. People everywhere knew her by name. I loved when fans wanted her over me. I felt proud!" She was more of a lady than you'll ever be, Tori!

Farewell, Mimi La Rue! You will be forever missed. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go take out my anger and sadness on those noisy ass birds!