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It's nice to see that motherhood hasn't completely taken the cunt bitch out of JLo. That would be a pity. JLo was shopping at the Catherine Malandrino store on Manhasset's Miracle Mile when she demanded that they shut down the entire store for her. The store denied her chunky chunk ass, but that didn't stop JLo from making more demands.

A source told Page Six, "Then one of her eight-person entourage, including two bodyguards with their guns showing, was yelling at the clerk that Jennifer gets a 50 percent discount. Jennifer also tried on about a million outfits, then just threw it all in a pile in the dressing room and didn't buy one thing."

JLo needs one armed guard to protect each ass cheek. You know, if I was a salesgirl and JLo's cloud of make-up and mink lashes waltzed in, I would expect her to give me the bitch treatment. I would be disappointed if she didn't give me at least three evil side-eyes and call me a "pinche pendejo" at least once.

Oh and you know the Dragon Tales twins are going to run away once they figure out how to make an escape ladder out of their rabbit fur baby blankets.

Of course, not thee God. Thee God doesn't sell coke on corners or make house calls! He makes bitches come to him. Anyway, a dude named God Lucky Howard was arrested near a Church in Tampa, FL for allegedly coke. Church?! Well, at least he's capitalizing on his name. He could easily tell a crackhead, "God wants you to buy this" and he wouldn't be lying.

God tried to sell coke to two undercover cops. They searched his kingdom and found 22 grams of coke and a scale. He was charged with selling coke and also charged with trying to sell it within 1,000 feet of a holy place. They should have added another charge for having the name GOD.

I blame his parents. Give a child a name like "God Lucky" and his life will be forever fucked. They might as well have named him "Inmate #567-890."

Source

Thanks Shy

ONTD posted a bunch of pictures of MK Olsen, Nicole Richie, her tampon boyfriend and a bunch of other twats at some birfday party. A flannel themed birfday party. How in dyke hell are they going to throw a flannel party and not invite SamRo and HoHan?! SamRo has a special pair of boxers for parties like this.

The party also featured a pinata, most likely filled with crack rocks and Hoodia. These whores should have really considered throwing a bubble bath party instead. These greasy skanks look like they could use a wash or two...or....three....or ten thousand.

I feel for that dog.

Boy George was supposed to play a bunch of dates in the U.S. this summer and now that's not going to happen thanks to the damn government! Those fun haters denied him a VISA because of his upcoming criminal trial in London this November. The t-shirt entrepreneur is on trial for chaining a hooker to the wall of his apartment.

George was supposed to start his tour in Aspen, CO on July 10th and finish in Dallas, TX on August 23rd. He was also going to play a special gig for the NY Department of Sanitation for being hot to him while he did his community service there a couple of years ago.

George is not happy about the news and told Paper, "There are a number of public figures who are openly using drugs and they have no problem with immigration and I have seriously turned my life around and I feel great right now and this is just another reminder of how bad things were. I committed a crime and I happily paid the consequences and I should be allowed to move on and get on with what I do best and that is performing and making people dance and cry!"

And by "public figures" he means Amy Wino. We're all friends here, I don't know why he's talking so secretively.

George's lawyers are currently trying to get the decision reversed. He should just write a letter promising not to chain up any of our American whores against their will and also promise to work the morning shift selling patriotic t-shirts in front of our Nation's Capitol.

VIA Gigwise

"The greatest song" of Heidi Montag's life is the worst song of my life. You know Jem and the Holograms passed on this trash before Heidi took it. I don't even think this horsey bitch is singing in English! This skank needs to take a few ESL courses before trying to to sing in English. And she even tries to sing in French, but it sounds more like Pepe Le Pew talking in gibberish. It's time for Heidi to give up "music" altogether. She needs a new hobby! Snuff films, maybe?

Listen to Heidi's "Fashion" below or click here. Your ears will probably go on strike after listening to this atrocious shit, so don't be surprised if you can't hear the rest of the day.

VIA UsWeekly

TMZ got a hold of a 911 call Linda Hogan made on May 22nd. Linda told the 911 ho that Hulk Hogan was outside of her house even though she has a court order keeping his ass away from her. Hulk got into his car and drove away. That's when Linda got into her car and started following him. Umm.....who's stalking who? The operator had to tell Linda to stop following Hulk.

Linda probably has people following her around on a daily basis to remind her to not put her fingers in light sockets. This bitch is so stupid! The operator obviously wanted to shout, "You braindead skank! I'm through with you!"

Click here to listen to Mensa's newest member call 911. Nick and Brooke never had a fucking chance.

They skipped both of those and settled for the chin dildo. SamRo looks like she could head bop the hell out of HoHan's fire chocha.

SamHo spent a lovely Sunday together in gayelle bliss doing lesbionic things like shopping and eating hamburgers. Awwww...and they even wore matching white pants.

I don't watch "The Two Coreys" because my weekly douche intake is already at its maximum level, but several of you whores wrote me on what went down on last night's season premiere. Well, during last night's episode, Corey Haim admitted to being raped at the age of 14. Corey Feldman also confessed he was child touched around that age. They didn't say by whom, but it was one of Corey Feldman's close friends. Escandalo!

I'm guessing the accused child toucher's name rhymes with HACKO?

VIA ONTD

Thanks Valerie

Birthday: March 28, 1975
Age: 33
Birth Name: Kate Kreider

Original Date of HS of the Day: June 19, 2008
Claim to Fame: Baby maker and reality TV star. Kate has given birth to twins and a set of sextuplets.

Where is she now? Kate is currently in her fourth season of "Jon & Kate Plus 8."

Why is she HS of the Week? Because I want to see Kate and Michelle Duggar battle it out in the end. Battle of the traumatized chochas!

Choke on it, Heeeeiiigggl! - Egotastic!

Speaking of nast, here's Cheryl Burke in a bikini (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Ball in a court! Lance and Kate "canoodle" on a tennis court - Lainey Gossip

Lisa Rinna is a total butterlips - Hollywood Tuna

My kind of graduation speech - Cityrag

45-year-old soccer mom or Hayden Panatroll? - Just Jared

MiserAlba and Baby Honor venture outside - Popsugar

Ralph Lauren and Marc Jacobs in Gay Pride face-off - Towleroad

Don't call the Olsen Trolls "twins" - Hollywood Rag

Johnny Depp is cool - IDLYITW