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The Crackie of Camden came through!! Amy Wino showed up and performed at Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday concert in London tonight. She also almost showed off one of her crackey nippies while making her way to the venue. One of her nips has more cokey in it than the whole city of Miami. She should guard them with her life.

Wino performed "Rehab" and "Valerie" for the 45,000 people in the audience. She also stuck around to sing "Free Nelson Mandela" along with the other performers. See! Wino does good sometimes. Hopefully, Mandela told her that if she doesn't shape up, he'll send away with Naomi Campbell.

Here's Wino's crackey nip almost coming out to play and also Wino performing at the concert. She probably only has one of those Heart Blaaaaake hair pins. It must stink like rat jizz, cinnamon incense, Aquanet and ice pops.

Anne Hathaway dumped her skeezy beard and moved out of his apartment, but she might have forgotten something. A little something named Esmerelda the labrador retriever. Anne and Raffey Fullofcaca bought the dog together 2 years ago.

Page Six reports that Esmerelda is currently living at Raffey's $40,000-a-month Trump Tower penthouse and being taken care of by Raffey's sick mother while he's in the pokey. $40k a month on rent?! No wonder he was stealing from God!

A friend of Raffey's said, "Could Anne Hathaway please come get her dog? He can't afford a dog walker, and his mom has cancer. I feel bad for the dog. She's a beautiful, sweet dog who probably greeted the FBI agents with her tail wagging."

There's no way Annie is going back for that dog now that she's free to get herself a pussy. Pussycat! That's what I meant! Get your head out of the dental dam. I mean, Annie strikes me as more of a pussy person than a dog person. I'm just saying. Fuck.

Image: INFDaily.com

Thanks Bobbie

Is Elegant Olga's douchetastic voicemail stalker the infamous "Dimitri the Lover" from Toronto? After I posted Dimitri's douche-rant to Elegant Olga, a bunch of you sent me links to articles and websites about Dimitri the Lover.

Dimitri the Lover was in local papers in Toronto a while ago after he was stripped of his medical license for sexually assaulting patients. Yes, he used to be a doctor. His explanation was, “At the time, I was married. And my wife was sexually dysfunctional, I had not had sex with her in a year and a half. It was a very tough time, I was very horned up. And I was busy, between that and working, so for me it was easy to hit on chicks that were patients.”

He's pretty well known in Toronto for being the biggest douche alive. He's also part of a group known as Toronto Real Men. It sounds like a circle jerk group. Toronto Real Men is part of the "seduction community." I guess, they try and fuck as many chicks as they can.

There's a lot more info on Dimitri the Lover's website as well as this interview he did. There's also a super small picture of him on this website.

Dimitri totally thinks he's Frank Mackey from "Magnolia." Even Tommy Girl is rolling her eyes at that.

VIA Lolligagging

Thanks Brandy, Patricia and Kaitlin

Actually, I should've titled this TMI.

Mini-Me's sexy tape co-star gave an interview to the MJ Morning Show today. She didn't really say much, but they did manage to ask her about Mini-Me's wang bone. I've been obsessed with knowing what Mini-Me's peen is like. Yes, I've scheduled a therapy session for next week to discuss these issues of mine.

When asked about it, Ranae said, "As previously reported on other interviews made by him, it is definitely not a tripod." MJ responded, "You're saying he's proportionate for a man of 2'8"?" Ranae said yes.

That means his mini-peter is about the size of one of my fingers. DAMN! How the hell did she feel that shit?! That's not even funny. He would have to stick his whole head up in there and scream at the top of his toddler lungs for me to feel a thing.

That means this sick ass video a lot of you whores have been sending me isn't Mini-Me. DO NOT Click here to see this very NSFL video. DO NOT CLICK. Unless you enjoy seeing little people getting their salad tossed, don't click!

And click here to listen to Ranae's entire interview with the MJ Morning Show.

KFed and Brit Brit's never-ending custody battle is going to trial! Yesterday, both of their lawyers spent the entire day trying to figure out a custody arrangement both hos would be happy with. Please, you know the lawyers spent their time playing "spin the Cheeto" and doing Purple Drank body shots off each other. They've been influenced by KFed and Brit Brit!

KFed's attorney told E!, "The mediation didn't result in an agreement that would avoid the trial set in August ... The mood was comfortable, positive and it was a mood that was consistent with opening at least a great dialogue, which is necessary."

KFed wants sole and legal custody of SPF and JJ with Brit getting visitation rights. KFed's attorney went on to say, "If the existing arrangement was acceptable to both parties ... we wouldn't have to go to trial."

The Cheeto vs. Digweed trial is set to begin August 25th. The final custody ruling could last several years. This shit will never end!

Can't they just put SPF and JJ on the stand and ask them what they want. They'd probably say, "We go live with Chester the Cheetah."

VIA People

CoCo does not need to be fraternizing with the pornbear known as Ron Jeremy! She must maintain her image as a sophisticated, all-natural, innocent and elegant beauty. No wonder her chichis look like they were involved in a 6-man pile-up. The sin stank from Ron Jeremy is damaging her precious tittays.

You know what's even worse than Ron Jeremy? The CROCS on his feet. CROCS! A porn bear in CROCS. I've seen it all. I'm surprised CoCo's expensive bootleg Louboutins aren't melting from being so close to Ron's silicone asshole shoes.

Just when I'm beginning to think that all the HoHan drama is dying down, Michael Lohan has to open his big mouth and start yapping. Michael told OK! Magazine that HoHan has a secret sister. In case you didn't know, this is how the Lohans communicate with each other. They blab to the press.

Michael confessed to doing sexy times with some other bitch while he was separated from White Oprah. The bitch he was fucking contacted him years later and said she had his child.

The bitch told OK! that Michael has talked to his secret daughter several times and even called her on her 13th birthday this month. Michael has never visited his secret daughter and has never given her any of HoHan's hard-earned cash. Well, he doesn't have any dough. Secret daughter's mommy said, "It's time for Michael to take responsibility."

In my lesbian soap opera fantasies, HoHan's secret sister would be revealed as none other than...SAMRO! No, she doesn't have the Lohan's trademark orange skin. Yes, she's like ten years older than HoHan, but let a homo dream!

And expect a 30-page statement from White Oprah in 5....4...3...

Christopher Meloni in drag. I'm scared.... - Towleroad

Put those away, Heeeiiggggl! - Hollywood Tuna

Pizza Face Diaz wants attention - IDLYITW

Breaking! RiRi and Chris Brown go grocery shopping together - Just Jared

Kiki Dunst needs a bra...NOW! - Popsugar

A bouquet of graffiti in NYC - Cityrag

Becks & Iker: A Love Story - Lainey Gossip

Vanessa Manilafolders in a bikini - Egotastic!

Heidi Montag: Queen of Denial (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Wonky has such a generous heart - Hollywood Rag

YouTube superstar Tricia Walsh-Smith brought her own brand of crazy to a NYC court room yesterday. On day one of her divorce trial to Philip Smith, Tricia took the stand and claimed the only mean thing she ever did to her husband was " put skim milk in his cappuccino."

Tricia's crazy ass seemed to forget going on YouTube and telling the world she found a box of Viagra and porn belonging to him. She also said they never fucked.

The NY Post reports Philip's lawyer played several crazy voicemails left by Tricia to her husband. In one message, Tricia told her husband, "I will cut your balls off and have them for breakfast." Hmm...this is what Madge tells Guy every night before bedtime.

Crazy Eyes defended herself by saying she's "entitled to get angry and have an opinion." She also said she only went on YouTube because Philip kicked her out of their apartment. "I basically did it so somebody would help me," she said. And thank God she did.

Here's Crazy Eyes living up to her nickname as she arrived in court yesterday.

A couple of hilarious voicemails (above) from a mega-douche named Dimitri are currently making the internet rounds. It all started when d-bag Dimitri met the "elegant" Olga outside of a bar in San Francisco. Elegant Olga made the mistake of giving him her business card. Dimitri called Elegant Olga several times and delivered such memorable quotes as:

"You're an extremely elegant woman. I couldn't take my eyes off you, and your friends were very jealous, even if they say they weren't..."

"I'm Greek and I'm extremely particular about what I like. So I'm giving you an opportunity here. "

"But nobody says "Call me," hands a person a business card and then doesn't return calls. It's extremely passive aggressive. You should actually look that up, passive-aggressive personality disorder."

Jezebel has the complete transcript of Dmitri's douchetastic voicemails to Elegant Olga. I'm shocked as to why Olga never called Dimitri back. I mean, he called her "elegant" several times! Any dude that calls me "elegant" is definitely the one.

Dimitri totally borrowed his mommy's cell phone to leave Elegant Olga messages during his lunch break from his 8-hour shift at Quizno's.

Thanks Melanie