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Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols has ruined his gorgeous, busted, nasty teefs by having them fixed. Illegal! Punk rock is officially, officially dead!

Johnny told the Telegraph that he traveled to Los Angeles and spent $22,000 on his new pearly whites. He still has a gap where he lost one of his tooths to a cherry pit. That's some George Washington shit! Johnny didn't have a new tooth put in there because it would mean he would have to get his jaw realigned.

He said, "All those rotten teeth were seriously beginning to corrupt my system. I was permanently poisoning myself with gum infections." That's what drugs and booze are for! To kill infections. That's why my dealer doctor told me.

What the hell are we supposed to call him now? Johnny Rembrandt?!

P.S. - That's a picture of his old teefs. May they rest in peace....

Thanks Natalie

Every dumbass (including me) that watched "The Real Housewives of Orange County" knows that Lauri's son, Josh, was always getting into it trouble. When he was 16, he was caught with drugs and booze at school and was sent to juvi. When Lauri met her sugar daddy George, Josh moved in with George's ex-wife. COLD! Well, Josh's problems haven gotten worse.

TMZ reports that Josh was arrested outside of a Comfort Inn in Laguna Beach allegedly trying to sell heroin and ecstasy. They also found tons of drugs in his room. When Josh first saw the fuzz, he tried to run away. Cops say he was looking mighty high.

In Josh's defense, you would be hitting the heroin too if your mom was two plastic surgeries away from looking just like Joan Van Ark.

I actually like Lauri and her hatchet face, but that bitch needs to take some of her new money and throw her son in rehab. Real Housewives of OC is coming back soon, so you know Lauri is going to make sure this little situation is included. She's practicing pushing out tears from her tight ass face as we speak. Mission impossible!

I could have sworn I've seen this shit already. I guess when you've seen one movie with Angelina Jolie in black leather shooting a gun, you've seen them all. Above is the new trailer for "Wanted" which comes out at the end of this month. It also stars James McAvoy, Morgan Freeman and Terence Stamp. Yes, Bernadette Bassenger is in this crap. His presence almost makes it worth the $12.

Seeing Angie's bare arms in the trailer has given me a sudden craving for Grissini breadsticks.

You know what Lily Allen's trying to do? She's obviously wants us to talk shit about her fraudulent ass, but I'm not going to fall for her cheap tricks. Ok, yes I am.

Just seeing Bambi's mutilated body on her dress brings non-existent tears to my eyes. Yes, I know it's probably some random deer, but every young deer is Bambi to me. Just thinking about the scene where Bambi's mom gets it makes me weepy. Thanks to Lily's violent dress, I've been forced to hit the bong hard tonight to wash away the painful memories.

And about her new hair, pussy in a pink wig did it better!

Here's Lily at the Glamour Twats Women of the Year Awards in London tonight.

I couldn't fucking complete that sentence! But you get the picture. KFed is getting an award for being such an exceptional papa je'e to SPF and JJ. The award is being given out by High Times magazine. No! It's being handed out to him by Prive nightclub in Las Vegas. Same thing.

People reports that this prestigious honor will be presented to him at the club. I'm guessing they are going to give him a pimp cup trophy, a lap dance and a body shot off of the cocktail waitress of his choice.

Who the hell were the other nominees? Jacko and Papa Joe? Prive should also name Xtina mother of the year. Sorry White Oprah, but it really is Xtina's year.

Thanks Amanda

It seems like it was just yesterday when the Cheetos were flowing, the frapps were aplenty and Brit Brit was rubbing her cheesy corn muffin against Adnan Ghalib's landing strip. Times have changed, but Adnan is still feeling the consequences of his relationship with Brit Brit.

Adnan told Heat Magazine (via Digital Spy) that he's quitting his job as a pap and "going into hiding" after he's received several death threats. Death threats? Quick! Somebody check Brigitte Bardot's phone records! Seriously, Adnan says the threats have to do with rumors about a possible sex tape he made with Brit Brit.

He said, "I have had many calls about it from all over the world…In light of the constant calls about the sex tape and threats, I'm taking a break from the industry and keeping a low profile."

Yeah, this bitch should have saved his breath. You can't really disappear if no one notices your ass anyway!

73-year-old Brigitte Bardot was convicted by a Paris jury this morning of provoking discrimination and racial hatred for writing that Muslims are destroying France in a letter to Nicolas Sarkozy. She was fined around $23,000 and has to pay $1,555 in damages to a French anti-racism group.

The judge rejected the prosecution's request to have Brigitte's elderly ass thrown in jail for 2-months. This is her fifth race-related conviction in the past 11 years.

Brigitte, an animal activist, wrote the letter in December 2006, because she was pissed off over the Muslim feast of Aid el-Kebir, which is celebrated by slaughtering sheep. She wrote, "I've had enough of being led by the nose by this population that is destroying us, destroying our country by imposing its acts."

Her lawyer said that she will most likely not appeal because she's tired of this court shit.He said, "She has the impression that people want to silence her. She will not be silenced in her defense of animal rights."

She fucking looks spent. She needs take a load off, rest in a Calgon bath and treat herself to a bottle of Boone's Farm.

Source

Thanks Stoney

Angelina Jolie wannabe Megan Fox said she would rather stay home than party all the night. Her reason? She's really, really horny.

She said, “I have the libido of a teenage boy. I’d rather have sex all the time than leave the house.”

I feel her. I'd rather eat Donettes all day long than leave the house.

You can't blame Megan for wanting to do sexay times 24/7. I mean, look at who she's fucking:

HOT!

Thanks Pascale

A judge has turned down Nick Hogan's request to be transferred from solitary confinement to home confinement. Yesterday, Nick filed a motion with the court bitching and moaning about how it's not fair that he's in solitary. Wah wah! He asked the judge to release him on house arrest until he turns 18 in July, at which point he'll return to jail and serve the rest of his sentence in minimum-security. He's too young for that shit now.

The judge should have just released him into general population with a word of advice, "Use your pinky finger to loosen the hole first."

In other cry baby news, the Hogans are whining about taped jail conversations between Nick and his family that were released. They have filed a lawsuit claiming Nick's privacy rights have been violated and they to stop the Sheriff from releasing anymore tapes.

Throw all those Hogans mutants into a fucking baby cradle together.

You know Dog the Bounty Hunter is loving this shit!

Source: MyFox Tampa Bay

Bill Clinton had a fucking good time with Gina Gershon claims Vanity Fair. According to an article written by Todd Purdum, hubby to Dee Dee Meyers, Billy had affairs with several chicks including Gina. Billy cheating on Hills is nothing new and not shocking. However, Billy knocking it with Cristal Conners is pretty hot.

Todd writes that, "Clinton has been seen visiting with the actress Gina Gershon in California. There has been talk of a female friend in Chappaqua, a woman in a bar at a meeting of the Aspen Institute, and a public sighting of Clinton, Bing, and a ravishing entourage in a New York elevator that, a former Clinton aide told me, led a business leader who saw them to say: I don’t know what the guy was doing, but it was so clear that it was just no good."

Billy responded by calling Todd "sleazy" and "slimy." Takes one to know one! Gina Gershon's rep told E! News, "Todd Purdum's insinuation is a lie and is irresponsible journalism. We are demanding a retraction."

Can you blame Bill? Gina is fucking hot. Shit, I would do her! Although, I'd much rather just sit in a room with her and have her say, "You are a whore, darlin'. We all are. We take the cash, we cash the check, we show them what they want to see" over and over again.