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Now I know what Prince Hot Ginge will look like on our wedding day! I can't wait to Photoshop my gay ass into these pictures. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in the bathroom with these pictures and a big piece of ginger root. Stings so good.

Jennifer Aniston is already dickmatized! Good dick makes you do stupid things like give up your car keys to the douche you're boning.

John Mayer was driving around in Jenny's SUV today. He ended up back at her place with an overnight bag. I bet you he didn't even fill up the gas and left a wet spot on her driver's seat! What's next? She's going to let him piss with the seat down? I must admit that pissing with the seat down is great fun because it splashes everywhere like a pretty fountain.

In other FerMan news, the two are planning on getting matching tattoos! A source said, “John had the idea that they should both have a ‘J’ tattooed in a secret place as that is both their first initial. Jennifer is really keen on the idea but is going to wait a few months. He said she’s in great shape and her skin is like a baby’s bottom."

She totally burst into tears when he said the word "baby." I guess Courtney Cox forgot to tell him that word must never be used around Jen. NEVER!

Brad Pitt shuttled off to Switzlerand yesterday for the Art Basel fair. Brad wasn't browsing, he was buying. Brad paid $293,000 for the marble table above. I can't wait until Pax spills Kool-Aid on that shit. He also bought that fugly lamp as well as 2 chairs priced at $25,000 each. $25k?! I could've made that shit for him using Ikea plastic chairs and asphalt! I would've only charged him $3,000 and an ass slap.

HuffPo reports that he also bought an aluminum rug for $175 per square foot and he's interested in buying a $300,000 gold lacquer-coated Fiberglas sofa. I think the sofa is for Maddox's room. It sounds like something he would lounge on.

Quick! We need to set up an "art garage sale" and invite Brad Pitt. We'll tell him our Ikea, Target and West Elm crap was made by the most talented underground artists in the world. He'll believe us because he'll buy any shit!

Source: UsWeekly

During CNN's coverage of boring political stuff last night, Andy Cooperhad a sweet and totally gay exchange with Donna Brazile. Andy asked Donna about some inside boring stuff and she answered, "Now Anderson, you’re not my boo." Everyone sort of giggled and then Andy responded with, "I want to be your booooooo." At that moment, millions of homos shouted out their windows, "I WANNA BE YOUR BOO TOOOOOO!"

He went on to say, "Frankly, I have no idea what that means." Even his little girly giggle is charming. Anderson, I'll show you what "boo" means. I wrote the definition on my no-no hole.

At first, I thought this was Jamie Lynn on the cover of People magazine. Still would've made sense. No, it's little Stephanie Tanner! She's dropped the meth pipe and picked up the baby bottle. Whoever wrote that cover line deserves a hand job and a can of Country Club malt liquor.

Source: Cover Awards

HoHan looks so happy! She probably can't wait to use the cucumber they bought. Cucumbers are for lightweights! Buttered up butternut squash is the way to go.

You know, this talk of cucumber sex makes me think of this amazing Durex ad:

Here's more pics of SamRo and HoHan buying lesbian shit like granola and yogurt last night.

It's almost impossible to figure out what the hell Amy Wino is talking about half of the time. She was in court this morning to support Blaaaake during his pre-trial. She showed up on Wino time (hours late) and sat in the front row. During the hearing, Wino loudly said, "It's like Disneyland." Who speaks fluent crackie? I have no idea what she means. If it's Disneyland then she's the Matterhorn and her crack hive is the Haunted Mansion.

Blaaake tried to pass Wino a handwritten note, but the court usher wouldn't allow it. Wino got up to leave and whispered, "Fuck you."

Jury selection in Blaaake's trial is set to begin next week. When the trial begins, they better broadcast this shit live OJ-style. I want to see how many times Wino tries to sneak a bump right there in court. She thinks she's so slick.

Here's Wino on her way home after court. She's carrying a bottle of Malibu. She probably uses it as mouthwash. That shit is nasty!

It's Jason Mraz and HELL YES I'd hit that. We can rub our twig bodies together in hopes of starting a fire. A Rojo Caliente fire! She would pop out of one of our asses and shout, "It's Rojo Caliente time!" I wish.

Jason posted this picture of himself on his MySpace along with boring shit about jet lag and his vegan diet. Shut up and strip!

VIA Towleroad

Thanks David

Gerard should have pushed Heigl out of that basket - Popsugar

Miley Cyrus is sooo rock 'n' roll (Site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Will Smith just needs to come out of the alien closet already - IDLYITW

A Kate Walsh upskirt - Just Jared

The Trannycat Dolls shoot a video - Hollywood Tuna

Prince William is no Prince Hot Ginge - A Socialite's Life

Mandy Moore is hot again - Egotastic!

Penny Cruz in daisy dukes - Cityrag

John Mayer got a ticket and not for being a dumb douche - Hollywood Rag