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With Vadge and Guy Ritchie's dumbass divorce getting so much attention, I thought I'd show a little love to the sexiest member of that family - Carlos Leon. We should show our appreciation for him by sitting on his face and spinning while humming "Deeper and Deeper." Since we can't do that without getting arrested and having a restraining order put on us, here's some lovely pictures of him with Lourdes.

No wonder Vadge chose his ass as her sperm donor. That bitch is hot. You know that peen hangs low and it wobbles to and fro. You can tie it in a knot. You can tie it in....you get it.

Carlos looks like he might slap you in the teefs if you get out of line, but I need that kind of discipline every now and again. I can even look past that creepy ass tattoo.

If Carlos Leon isn't your cup of hot leche, I've also throw in some pictures of pretty, pretty Princess Zac Efron for all the tweens, pedos, make-up fetishists and dom daddy tops out there.

The NKOTB - Wait, before we start. I can never type out New Kids on the Block without laughing my gay ass off. They are some old ass looking New Kids. Hot as fuck, but old.

Ok, moving on. The NKOTB reunion just got sexier. People reports that they will record a song with New Edition. Fuck yes! The only way this could be better is if it was a group track featuring Sweet Sensation, Seduction, Expose, The Cover Girls, Stevie B, Lisa Lisa, Pebbles and the Jets. Only in my gay ass dreams.

The song is called "Full Service." One of the song's producers said, "Donnie Wahlberg had this idea for a few months, since New Kids had the idea of getting back together really. Donnie's been looking for that one track for all of them and I think we found it." The song will be featured on NKOTB's new album.

They better do a mash-up of "Cover Girl" and "Candy Girl" for the B-side. Candy Girl just makes you want to put on terry cloth coochie cutters and roller skate around the neighborhood with a lollipop in your mouth. If I did that in my neighborhood, I would be shanked in the gonads before ever leaving my front door.

File this under: This will be your nightmare tonight. These faceless people have been seen all over England the past few days from Elton John's white ball, to the Harrod's sale and today they haunted Wimbledon.

Methinks these hos are from Anonymous, the group that keeps Tommy Girl awake at night. If it is Anonymous, they've really stepped up their look. I just hope none of these bitches creep up on me when I least expect it. I like my bowels just where they are, thank you very much. Actually, sometimes I like it when....forget it.

And this is totally what Xtina looks like without make-up.

For their August issue, Out Magazine talked to the guyliner-wearing, walking vagina known as Pete Wentz aka Mr. Asshole Simpson. Since it's a gay magazine, Pete talked to them about all his gay experiences including kissing other douchebags.

Pete said, "When I said that I make out with dudes, there was a slight sense of sexual rebellion in that. And I probably even made it a bigger deal than it was. Like, 'You make out with this dude and we'll make out.'" Pete first kissed a dude when he was around 16 or 17 on a dare. The last time he kissed a boy was around 7 years ago. You know Papa Joe was sitting in on that interview thinking, "He better not say shit about about our special times together!"

That quote just confirms that Pete is a first-rate mega douche. Pete went on to say that he's never gone below the belt with another dude, "It's really about the equipment. I really don't think it's an attractive quality. That's what it comes down to. I don't even like my own. Like, I really don't like it. I don't like anything about it."

Excuse me while I go have a heart attack and weep like Wino in front of an empty crackpipe.

Dick is not pretty?! Anybody that thinks dick is not pretty needs to go stick their head in a manhole (not that kind of man hole). Dick is a gorgeous thing. Good dick will make you praise Jesus in the morning. Good dick will make you punch a guppy in the face. Good dick will make you empty your checking account and sell all your belongings.

Dick is the most beautiful thing in the world. And I hate Pete Wentz for saying it isn't. I HATE HIM.

It's official! Boy George has canceled his US tour, because George Bush does not like chunky British gays. George and his lawyers couldn't work shit out with the government over his Visa issue.

He said in a statement to E!, "I was really hoping that the issue would be resolved and that some kind soul at the U.S. Visa Office would realize that if the police in the U.K. placed no restrictions on my movements, that should have been good enough for them. "I am very sorry that I will not see all my American fans this year, but I wish them a happy and healthy Fourth of July. I include the Visa Office in those good wishes and realize they are doing a very difficult job and I just got unlucky."

George was denied a visa, because he's awaiting trial in London for allegedly chaining up a whore to his wall.

All the memaw fags hags and homos that were planning to buy tickets to see George, should take that money and use it to buy themselves a hooker. Chain that bitch to your radiator and then blast "I'll Tumble 4 Ya." That's what George would want.

And George needs new people, because they should have gotten Wonky McValtrex's douche boyfriend to put on a little make-up and take the stage as him. Not even the biggest BoyGeorgiealoonie would know the difference.

I must truly hate you, because I'm going to make you listen to Heidi Montag's new song "One More Drink." I'm sorry, but I really need someone to feel my pain.

You know, I will never forgive Brit Brit for not putting this shit out first and calling it "One More DRANK." When listening to it just imagine Brit Brit singing "One Mo DRANK." It might help in making this truly awful shit go down easier.

And I thought this horsey ho didn't drink? I'm going to need at least 5 hardcore drinks after listening to this caca. Fuck, I'm going to need an open bar. Two open bars! Because bartenders always water your shit down during open bar.

This fuckery doesn't even sound human! It sounds like Rosie the Robot Maid after a few too many lemon drops.

Anyway, listen to this nonsense. This is the future of Christian music:

Source: UsWeekly

Even Xtina's pooch can't look at her face close-up! Tranny Clown probably has so much bronzer on that poochie can see its own reflection and that makes it feel uncomfortable. That poor animal is thinking, "Please Tranny Clown! I know I look like a bat, but don't do sex to me!"

Anytranny, Xtina did some long ass interview with Glamour Magazine. I only scanned the interview, because reading three pages of Xtina's words will most likely make me want to put on red lipstick and fuck a bat. Here are a few lie-telling quotes from the red lipstick fucker:

on the paparazzi:
"A lot of people go out of their way [to be photographed]; I make a conscious effort to keep me and my family out of the limelight. The other day a paparazzo actually pulled up to my husband on the street and said, "Geez, I know the new house is big, but I've been trying to get a picture of you for months--you never leave the house!" And it's true: I'll go out at night after spending time with my son, but [during the day] I just hang out on my grounds, taking him for walks in the stroller in the backyard where we won't be seen."

Never leave the house?! Who the hell was the photographer who said this crap?! Stevie Wonder? If he wanted a picture of Xtina that bad, he should've just opened a bottle of vodka on her front lawn. Xtina can smell vodka within a 10-mile radius.

on sexy times with Bat Boy:
We make sure we have Mommy and Daddy nights out. Our child comes first, obviously, but there are certain things you can do: Once we know he's in good hands, we go out late at night and have a few drinks. Then we'll come home, dim the lights and do our thing--and I'm not going into any more detail than that!

Nurse! Please bring my bed pan. I'm going to be sick. Seriously, you know their sexy sexy time is non-existent. When the lights go off, Bat Boy hangs himself upside down from the ceiling and Xtina sticks her whole face in a bowl of paint remover to get all the grease off. She has to soak overnight.

Visit Glamour to read the entire interview

Thanks Dreamy

This is a picture of HoHan's supposed secret half-sister. InTouch has the first pictures of 13-year-old Ashley Kaufman and her mother, Kristi Kaufman. Kristi claims she did grossy grossy times with Michael Lohan and produced lil' Ashley.

Michael at first admitted it, but now he's denying it. He recently submitted his DNA for a paternity test. He said that if Ashley is his, he will accept responsibility. If she's not his, he plans to sue Kristi for defamation. Um...he should sue himself too, because he's already defamed himself plenty of times.

Michael told the NYDN last week, "I've seen pictures and, to tell the truth, there are similarities with Linds."

Hmmm....she doesn't have greasy orange skin, a cokey nose or a permanent poo stain on her upper lip. And she actually looks a normal 13-year-old and not a 35-year-old hooka! Nope, definitely not a Lohan! That being said, she'll still get her own reality show and record deal.

JLo and Skeletor were in Milan today accepting some sort of award from the Milan City Council. While these two mutt-faced hos pose for pictures and talk to the media about gross shit, who is taking care of the Dragon Tales twins? Seriously, JLo has said a million times that she doesn't have help! I'm starting to worry about them. She probably put one of her bear coats in charge. Actually, she probably popped them out, posed for her multi-million dollar pictures and then handed them over to a pack of wolves.

Here's more pictures of these two greasy neck bones in Italy. Just because his name is Skeletor doesn't mean we want to see his skeleton. Bitch needs to button up and cover up! And JLo needs to get one of her slaves to dye her girdles to match her fugly ass dresses!

Pigeon Head! Alien Princess RiRi looking like a big bird tranny mess - Just Jared

Kate Beckinsale's booby comes out to say hello - Egotastic!

What the hell is Kate Hudson trying to cover up? - Hollywood Tuna

Big Willy without his Big Tommy Girl - Lainey Gossip

Escalator spinning is all the rage - Cityrag

Oh shit! Why do I think Ryan Gosling is so effin hot?! - Popsugar

Lisa Rinna needs a wipeout - Hollywood Rag

Cristiano Ronaldo's girlfriend is a ball breaker - IDLYITW

Pepaw Flavio Briatore gets all the hot chicks (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather