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The Wino gave her Blaaaake a special performance during visiting hours at Pentonville prison yesterday. According to The Sun, Wino pulled up her top, pressed her chichis against the glass booth and started shaking it like.....well....like a crackhead. Crackies Gone Wild!

The other visitors at the prison were apparently shocked and disgusted. I don't know why? They are getting Wino's world famous heroin shimmy shake show for free! One prudish visitor said, "It was not a pleasant sight. Amy seemed completely out of it." Riddle me this? When is she ever NOT out of it?

Since when is it so weird to rub your bare titties up against the glass? I do that for the bitches at my local check cashing place at least once a week. They've only called the police a couple of times which means they don't hate it that much. Seriously though, we've all done that. Right?

Here's The Crackie of Camden being a beautiful mess in London tonight. She didn't bitch slap anyone which mean she's making progress. She's also wearing ballet flats! All is alright in the world.

I'm not going to lie. I'd hit it. Only because he gave us an amazing mug shot and he should be rewarded for that. I'd have to soak his ass in RID, but I've done worse for a piece. Anylice, the star of this amazing mug shot is 47-year-old Robert Martin of NJ. Bitch doesn't look that haggard for 47, right? I'm joking...sort of.

Robbie was arrested for some stupid shit! The police busted him after they received complaints over naked Barbies, ladies panties and porn magazines sprawled out in Robbie's car. The dumb whores who complained think he was laying it out for everyone to see, like a shrine. Robbie frequently parks his car at the Ocean View Service Plaza and over the course of a couple of weeks the complaints came pouring in. That shit ain't right.

He was arrested on Wednesday morning and charged with maintaining a public nuisance. He was also charged with possession of a weapon, because the cops found a shank in his car. A shank? I'm in love.

Robbie said, "It was not on public display, it was not a public shrine. The only regret I do have is probably having the Barbie doll up on the dashboard. Being topless, maybe that drew some attention."

Robbie, you can display your naked Barbie on my dashboard anytime.

Thanks Gisela

A little while ago, Xtina shot a commercial for "Rock the Vote" and here it is. For once, her singing voice doesn't sound like a rabid squirrel getting ass fucked dry on a roller coaster. Still, Baby Max is probably thinking, "Shut the hell up you crazy tranny clown! You don't even know my name!"

That boy is either going to have a strange fascination with clowns or he's going to be deathly afraid of their creepy asses.

VIA ONTD

This is just one the lovely buff ladies who came forward claiming to have bumped roided-up genitals with A-Rod. Joslyn Morse is a stripper from Miami who had an affair with A-Rod last year. Stripper? Is she part of Chippendales? The Thunder From Down Under? Joslyn might have to testify in A-Rod's divorce dick battle against C-Rod.

Speaking of C-Rod, she talked to Cindy Adams at the New York Post yesterday for the first time since all this crap went down. She said that she still loves A-Rod, but had to leave his cheating ass to prove that she's not weak. Um...she could have just flexed her biceps to prove that.

She claims the marriage is forever done and that he needs to deal with his own shit. A-Rod is no longer the douche she married, but she plans to be there for him when finally "cracks up." Whatever that means. She wouldn't talk about any of the he-skanks A-Rod cheated on her with, because she's past that.

Speaking of one of the he-skanks he allegedly cheated on her with, A-Rod is reportedly telling friends he's in love with Vadge. According to UsWeekly, he told his friend, "She's my fucking soulmate, dude." Or maybe he said "So mate, she's a fucking dude" and the friend heard it wrong?

AND! Just because while we're on this topic, Jose Conseco is now trying to get into this shit. He is once again telling that old ass story about how Vadge wanted to have a baby with him. Jose also hates "A-Rod's guts" for hitting on his wife. STFU Jose! Go suck your thumb in the corner. Who's next? I'm still waiting for Dennis Rodman to throw his name into this mess.

Amanda Peet has just landed on Jenny McCarthy's shit list and she better watch it. We already know Jenny thinks vaccinating children is BULLSHIT. Amanda is on the other side. She told Cookie Magazine that she's pro-vaccine.

Amanda said she did her own research on vaccinations by talking to baby doctors before making a decision on whether or not she was going to prod her kid. She said, "I buy 99 percent organic food for Frankie, and I don't like to give her medicine or put sunscreen on her. But now that I've done my research, vaccines do not concern me. "

She is pissed about the unvaccinated children running around in the world. She thinks we're only safe from viruses if everyone is immunized. She said, "Frankly, I feel that parents who don't vaccinate their children are parasites." Get out of the way people! Here comes Jenny and she's heading right for Amanda!

I don't have kids, so I don't really have an opinion on this vaccination crap. I think I was vaccinated as a child....wait....that explains everything. And I can't wait for Jenny's response in 3...2...

Nicky Kidman is totally laughing on the inside behind Tommy Girl's back in that picture above. She's probably remembering the moment she caught him booty dancing while wearing one of her teddies. Those were the days.

Tommy Girl was apparently one of the first whores to congratulate Nicky for popping out her little botox pillow, Sunday Rose. He congratulated her by removing the alien hex he put on her. No, he reportedly sent her some fugly flowers.

A source told The Daily Mirror, "She has had hundreds of bouquets of flowers from well-wishers. Tom was one of the first people to get in touch and he sent her enough flowers to fill a room."

You don't mess around with a present from Tommy. Nicky better have immediately taken a torch to those gay ass flowers.

Tommy is one shady lady. He totally put some cameras in there and probably some Scientology mind-reading herbs. You can't trust a bitch who laughs like Mister Ed.

Lance Bass is reportedly all set to join the cast of "Dancing with the Has-Beens" next season, but his involvement has left the network executives scratching at their toupees. Rush & Molly reports they aren't sure whether to partner him with a dude or a chick. Um...why don't they just ask him?

ABC has gays on some of their shows, but I can clearly imagine some of the uptight dick bags who watch DWTS threatening to boycott the show. They will say shit like it's a "family show" and they don't want their kids seeing this crap. I can already hear them squawking.

If they are going to pair him with a dude, there's only one dude for the job...Maksim Chmerkovskiy! That hot piece needs to make a triumphant return to the show. Yes, he's straight, but it's dancing not fucking!

You know who Lance is probably going to be paired up with? My greatest enemy Cheryl Burke! I just know it. UGH! Look at her below! I just want to grab her skanky ass, dip her moppy head in a bucket of diluted Pine-Sol and then scrub the shit out of my kitchen floor with her. She makes me so mad!

*Image removed by request of OK! and replace with this cover which you've already seen*

Damn! Is Jamie Lynn giving Maddie Briann 100-proof Purple Drank, because baby looks like she's in another world. I'll have what she's having.

Click here to see the pictures from OK! of Jamie Lynn and her new baby.
Let's just all go out and get knocked up! It's fun!!

Christie Brinkley left court today showing off her son's diorama. That shit was used as evidence in her divorce trial against Tiny Cock. I think to prove she's a good parent or some shit like that. It's all Tiny Cock should have gotten in the divorce, but Christie's going to pay him $2.1 million. She gets custody of the kids and will keep all 18 of their Hamptons properties. Blah...blah...blah...

Back to dioramas. Remember when things were so simple? We would spend our days making dioramas for school and eating sand. That was the life. And if you're still making dioramas for school, then you need to call CPS on your parents' asses, because you really shouldn't be reading this mess.

The world would be a much happier place if we just made dioramas all day long.

Here's more pics of Christie and the diorama leaving court. Just because she's carrying a school project, doesn't mean she needs to dress like a fucking 8-year-old school girl.

If I ever lose my fucking mind and decide to get married, this is exactly the way I want my wedding to look like. Seriously, I will take this video to the wedding planner and tell them to recreate this classy affair down to the plastic crates and knocked up bridesmaids.

On the Fourth of July, Bubba married Pam in the parking lot of a Waffle House in Dacula, GA off of Highway 316/U.S. Highway 29 interchange. Bubba and Pam both work at the Waffle House. She was able to get the day off, but he had to work the morning shift.

They were surrounded by 30 of their closest friends and family who chain-smoked and drank soda throughout the ceremony. The elegant ambiance was completed by a Hank Williams Jr. song playing from the radio of a nearby SUV.

Pam's daddy told The Gwinnet Daily Post, "I think it's pretty redneck myself. But I'm a redneck anyway, so." Shit, then I must be a redneck too, because this wedding is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

There's seriously too much glamour to comment on, but you HAVE to watch the beautiful picture gallery above set to 98 Degrees' "Sunshine After The Rain." This is the kind of shit I dream about at night.

If you can't see the video above, click here to see the pictures.

Thanks L