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Has Katherine Heeeeeeigl's fat mouth finally caught up with her? According to Marc Malkin, the creator of Grey's Anatomy, Shonda Rhimes, wants the bitch dead! Well, she wants her character dead at least. Shonda is apparently still livid about Heigl's Emmy comments. In case you were drunk that day, Heigl did not submit herself for Emmy consideration because she felt she didn't have good material to work with.

A source said, "It's not good there. Shonda is pissed. They're thinking of killing her off. They want Izzie dead." Such beautiful words have never been spoken.

The feeling might be mutual. It's been rumored that Heigl wants out of her contract because she thinks she's A-list now. A for Awesomely Assholey.

They shouldn't kill the hag. Not just yet. They should slowly torture her by giving her the worst storylines ever. One week, Izzie develops a mental disorder that makes her bark like a dog instead of talking. She could bark throughout the whole episode. Another week, Izzie has chronic diarrhea and spends most of the episode shitting in her panties.

In her final episode, they should replace Katherine Heigl with Izzie the dog. That hot bitch needs a major comeback.

Proving once again that talent doesn't matter in Hollyweird, Nicole Richie is getting ready to turn her novel "The Truth About Diamonds" into a TV show. That shit is about some dumb bitch in Hollywood who is adopted into rock royalty and finds herself....forget it. Like you give a giraffe's penis (don't click on that) about the plot of this crap.

Nicole told E! that she's planning to take on my roles for the show, "I would definitely produce and definitely be in the show. I don't know if I need to be the star of this show. I've got a lot going on right now." Yes, ordering nannies around, going to Starbucks ten times a day and buying a bunch of fugly shit really keeps her busy.

I'll admit that I wasted a few hours of my life reading the book Nicole Richie clearly didn't write. It wasn't as bad as Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see? (I hate that shit, I'm sorry), but it has no business becoming a TV show. I'd rather watch every episode of "Babes" than 1 hour of Nicole's show.

What's the number to 911?! There's a criminal on the loose and her name is Cameron Michelle Diaz!! She must be arrested immediately and sentenced to at least 200 years in the chokey. They can throw in an extra 50 years for "The Holiday."

Cammy committed a crime in Hollywood the other night by driving while talking on her Blackberry. Yes, the car was moving! I'm sure she would have told the police officer, "I was only pretending to talk on my phone, so the paparazzi wouldn't bother me. I promise I'll use my Bluetooth headset from now on." And then she'd giggle like a baby stoner. You know how that twat is.

Speaking of headsets, why do whores think it's OK to wear those things outside of the car? I don't know how many times I've embarrassed myself by answering questions from a stranger talking into their headset. Most of the time they look straight at you while saying shit into their practically invisible headset. They are fucking with you. They know what they're doing. And if you're one of those whores, I'll meet you out back.

Somebody must have gotten a gift certificate to Frederick's of Hollywood for Mother's Day! The dangerously elegant Shauna Sand has ANOTHER new pair of luxurious shoes. I 'm joking. Shauna doesn't buy her shoes at Frederick's. She has this shit custom made in Europe. Italian cobblers spend years perfecting shoes fit enough for Goddess Shauna.

The Empress of Lucite worked the stroll in Hollywood yesterday. She's not listening to music. She's only covering her ears, because the sound of thousands of men begging for her love can be deafening. This bitch is so gorgeous. When she flips her hair, angels faint.

Harvey Price was on some TV show in the UK yesterday and he was nice enough to throw his mom a publicity bone by bringing her along. As much as I think Katie Price looks like a bruised orange who dresses like a tween prostitute, she's not completely whoring out her Harvey. She whores out the other kids, but I think she goes on these talk shows with Harvey to speak out and help others. Ugh. I hate being nice. Quick! Give me a baby badger to slap!

Here's part 1 of Katie and Harvey's interview. I really have no idea what she said, because I couldn't take my concentration off of Harvey playing with that plastic ruler thing. Mesmerizing.

Click here to see part 2

Today is 7/11 which means it's Free Slurpee Day or as some of us like to call it "National Spears Day!" Actually, they don't drink Slurpees. They order the Slurpee syrup and snort that shit straight-up. They cut it with Pixy Stix.

Unfortunately, cheap ass 7-11 is only offering 1 Slurpee per location. If you have the luxury of living near several 7-11s, then you better drive around and collect several Slurpees. When you get home, pour all your Slurpees (you can mix flavors) in a pitcher with a bottle of Everclear. Then you can party all weekend long.

Thanks Shari

I've posted HoHan's new line of hooker leggings before, but I never knew what this bitch was charging.

I'd rather have scraped-up knees than spend 132 clams on those dick-sucking leggings. Besides, any experienced peen-sucka knows how to squat low and suck. That way you don't mess up your pretty little knees.

HoHan must have been high on some bad shit when she priced this skankness. Do these leggings come equipped with a crotch cooling system? Or maybe you get a baggie of Colombian sugar with every purchase? I mean, the cheapest thing in her line is a pair of $42 tacky ass leopard cankle-hiders. No.

Michael Ian Black managed to barely beat Kate Gosselin in the cage fight to determine June's Hot Slut of the Month. Michael beat her mom ass by less than 25 votes. Thanks to all the dumb skanks out there who voted!

Below is MIB's gay sexy times scene with Bradley Cooper in "Wet Hot American Summer." There's seriously nothing better.

UPDATE: Click here to read Michael Ian Black's response to winning the illustrious title of "Hot Slut of the Month."

Carrie Underwears in a bikini - Egotastic!

And so it begins... Hot No Longer Pregnant Dude is getting his own movie - Towleroad

Jessica Simpson sucks at faking an orgasm - Hollywood Tuna

Michael Buble is single - Lainey Gossip

All American CoCo - Hollywood Rag

Where are Selma Blair's nipples? - IDLYITW

Adrian Grenier gets leid - Popsugar

John Travolta as Forrest Gump? No. - Cityrag

Miley Cyrus' smiley face looks more like wet farting face - Just Jared

Jo Champs is a mess. Whoever the hell she is (NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Only a Hogan tramp would wear a swimsuit from Wal-mart with Sigourney Weaver's pants from "Working Girl." When are these twats going to realize that in this day and age only babies are allowed to wear high-waisted crap. If you can wipe your own ass without help from daddy then you have no business wearing this mess. Oh wait. Okay, Brooke has permission.

Here's more of Brooke looking like her mommy (and that's not a compliment) in NYC yesterday.