Archives

Note to Brooke Hogan: Never pose in front of a wall with the word "Trans" on it. Look before you pose. She probably wondered why all the photographers were pissing themselves laughing. Well, Brooke may give us yet another reason to laugh at her ass. The NYDN reports that Playboy wants her in their magazine. Yes, I said PlayBOY and not PlayGIRL. Brooke apparently hasn't turned down the offer.

20-year-old Brooke has never posed naked, but she's posed in a bikini before. Hulk Hogan has also made it a point to talk about how he doesn't want her looking like a slut. Brooke's rep said, "No decision has been made at this time." Let me make the decision for you, Brooke. Keep that shit to yourself! We know your tuck is proper, but we don't need to see it in all its glory.

Hulk will probably agree to this shit if he can shoot the pictures and style her. Brooke's issue of Playboy better come complete with a bottle of eye bleach.

When looking for pictures of Brooke, I was surprised to find out what a true fashion icon she is. Here's some pictures of Brooke's many classy ensembles.

During last week's Berlin Fashion Week, fashion label Scherer Gonzalez sent their models down the runway wearing exquisite lucite heels. It's obvious who their inspiration was. It's nice to see that the fashion industry is finally paying home to the Empress of Lucite. Now I don't know about those flowers and shit, but Shauna's elegant style is open to interpretation.

I guess these lucite heels are for the stripper who likes to do crafts in between her lap dances. Or for the hooker who likes to make her own potpourri in between $5 blowjobs.

You know Christian Louboutin is stabbing his dick with a stiletto heel for not coming up with this shit.

Did you know Lisa Marie Presley had a brother? Did you even give a fuck? Well, she does and he's a big ass drug dealer. Party at Brother Presley's house! I have a few friends that would sell their mother just for 7 minutes in that bedroom closet. 7 minutes in heaven!

The National Enquirer is not right for putting the text, "Shocking Photos That Could Destroy The Family" over a fug ass picture of Priscilla Presley's plastic face. Anyway, I'll be moving to Brother Presley's house as soon as I figure out where he lives.

This week, the Enquirer also has a story about Lynn Spears' "tragic secret." In 1975, when Lynne Spears was 20, she hit a 12-year-old boy with her car. He died. A family member said, "To this day, Lynne hasn't gotten over what she did. She gets that terrified look in her eye when she is thinking about it."

Lynne's rep confirmed the story, "It bothers Lynne still to this day. She really doesn't like to talk about it. She just wanted to forget that it ever happened - but she can't."

The Spears family can always count on one of their own to spill secrets for a quick buck.

Image: Cover Awards

Meth faced Ethan Hawke and his new wifey, Ryan Shawhughes, had a baby last Friday in NYC reports UsWeekly. Her name is MyDaddyIsACheatingSkeeze Hawke. No, her name is Clementine Jane Hawke. Like the orange or like the song. "Oh my Darling, oh my Darling, oh my Darling Clementine!"

Ethan and Ryan met while she worked as his nanny when he was still married to Uma Thurman. They made it legal last month. Clementine is Ethan's third kid.

If this dumb bitch needs to hire a nanny, she better use the Fug & Fat Manny Agency. I don't know if there is such a thing, but there should be.

Gays have promise cock rings and gayelles have promise bracelets. Wait, before we get into gayelle promise bracelets, let's talk about cock rings. I know cock rings are supposed to make the dick harder and bigger for a longer period of time, but they are so fug! They make the cock look dorky. It's a total turn-off. Yes, I'd still suck a big one with a cock ring on it, but I'd roll my eyes the entire time. Annoying. Ok, rant over.

So.... Life & Style reports that HoHan and SamRo have been wearing matching red infinity lock bracelets. A source said, “The bracelets represent their relationship — they have each other on lockdown, and there’s no one else who can open up the key to their hearts." Those bracelets also look like they can double as pussy ropes. They also wear matching anchor necklaces because they are each other's anchor. GAG ME with a hard clit.

Here's HomoHan and SamRo out in NYC last night and also on the set of "Ugly Betty" yesterday afternoon.

Sienna Miller has filed a lawsuit against Big Pictures, The Sun and The News of the World for publishing pictures of her with her titties out in the open. The lawsuit, filed today in London, claims her privacy was violated. Sienna may have a vagina like a boxing glove, but she ain't too swift in the brains department. If you don't want anyone to see you cavorting around topless with your married boyfriend, then get a fucking room.

Sienna has a history of suing bitches over nude photos. This past December, The Sun and TNOTW paid her skanky ass almost $80,000 for publishing nudies of her.

I'll admit it. I love Sienna Miller because immoral sluts need to stick together. I know, you can slap me in the teeth later. As much as I adore her slutty ways, this lawsuit is lame. Besides, they're just chichis. Chichis that we've already seen!

Image: Mr. Paparazzi

Will Smith is always on top. Especially when he plays "hide the chalupa" with Tommy Girl. Anyway, Will Smith was the highest earning actor of 2007 according to Forbes. Will brought in $80 million last year. 10% goes to Tommy Girl's stupid alien society!

Pizza Face Diaz was the top earning actress with $50 million. Damn! And her skin still looks like the inside of Parasite Hilton's vag lips? Cammy should use some of that cash to get a skin transplant or some shit.

The top 5 overpaid dudes in Hollyweird are:

1. Will Smith - $80 million
2. Johnny Depp - $72 million
3. Eddie Murphy - $55 million
4. Mike Myers - $55 million
5. Leonardo DiCaprio - $45 million

The top 5 overpaid chicks in Hollywoodweird are:

1. Pizza Face Diaz - $50 million
2. Keira Knightley - $32 million
3. Jennifer Aniston - $27 million
4. Reese Witherspoon - $25 million
5. Fishsticks Paltrow - $25 million

It's a fucking sad day when Eddie Murphy and Keira Knightley are making that much money. I mean, Eddie Murphy was in "Meet Fucking Dave." WTF?!

And yes, Jennifer Aniston made more than Saint Angelina. Angie Jo made $14 million last year. Broke ass bitch! How the hell is she going to support her 85 kids on that measly salary? Bitch better get in line at the WIC office.

Visit Forbes to see the complete list

What's gayer than gay? Doogie Howser as the shoe fairy Sesame Street! Actually, it's kind of cute. Kind of - Towleroad

Eva Mendes can't keep her clothes on - Egotastic!

Alien Princess RiRi has a new video. She's sooo different - Just Jared

Nicky Kidman going to yoga. You know, because she's such a fat ass - Lainey Gossip

Benji Madden dumped this hot bitch for Wonky McValtrex?! - Hollywood Tuna

Ewww! It's Katherine Heeeigl! Ewww! Cover your eyes! - Popsugar

Kid Pebble is still blabbing about Pammy Anderson - Hollywood Rag

Things look different when you're drunk - Cityrag

Jodie Marsh has beautiful tittays (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Hayden Panatroll is trying too hard - IDLYITW

Last night, Joy Behar filled in for Larry King and had Fran Drescher on the show. The conversation somehow turned to the whole "N" word drama on "The View." That's when Fran asked Joy a question about Elisabeth, "What's with the crying? Is that how she wins battles with her husband?" No, because I doubt her husband talks to her annoying ass anymore. He just shrugs when she asks him a question and then shuffles off to his office to watch porn.

Of course, Elisabeth Hasselcrack couldn't keep her cunt hole shut about Fran's comment. She called into the show and said, "I was busy watching Hannity & Colmes and wanted to pop in and see you Joy. And I had to express my disappointment in Fran. You speak about women's rights and you certainly wasted no time in cutting another woman down....." I have no idea what she said after that because I only heard the sound of wet queefing.

I'm surprised Elisabeth didn't turn on the fake crocodile tears for Fran. Can't someone have a damn opinion without Hasslebrack moaning about it?

Clip below:

Which iconic supermodel wolfed down a sneaky KFC - and had to hide her gastronomic blow-out from her eagle-eyed agency bosses? (Mirror)

Naomi "I'm losing mah hair" Campbell?

Which celebrity hides her booze problem by pouring vodka into a Starbucks coffee cup when she's out shopping? (Mirror)

I do that! But I use water bottles instead. Ok, my guess is.....one of the Olsen trolls?

Which reality TV has-been can't even go to paid appearances anymore? His manager is too worried about how trashed he gets when he's on the payroll. (Rush & Molloy)

Danny Bonaduce or Chyna?