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Saint Angelina and her eternal slave boy, Brad Pitt, have apparently chosen Bono to be the godfather of their twin messiahs. After the the golden twins entered the world, Brangelina spent the week at Bono's place in the South of France. That's where they asked him to be the godfather and he immediately accepted. Please, Saint Angelina didn't ask. She gave him a cunty look and he somehow knew exactly what she meant. Bono then immediately got on his knees and bowed before the messiahs. He vowed to serve them for the rest of his life.

A source told The Mirror, "They have been friends for years. Brad is a massive U2 fan and told Bono how much he admired him when they were introduced at a party a few years back. Since then, they've become very close, which Brad is thrilled about. Angelina is inspired by Bono's humanitarian work and gets on with his wife Ali Hewson. Ali's given Angelina some clothes from her ethical clothing range Edun."

Angie Jo wants to ask Jenny Shimizu to be her twins' godmother, but Brad hasn't agreed yet. Jenny Shimizu?! The source got it all wrong. Angie probably wants to ask Jenny ANISTON, but only to fuck with her some more. Angie is going to make Maddox call Jenny and say, "Holla J-Ass. It's moi. Guess what? It's your lucky day. My beloved mommy wants you to be the chosen twins godmother. It's going to be a theme ceremony. The theme is....GOT YOU AGAIN, BITCH! Blehehehehe!"

And I refuse to believe Bono is going to be the twin messiahs' godfather. GOD himself is going to be their godfather. Duh.

Birthday: November 3, 1962
Age: 45
Birth Name: Peter Robinson

Original Date of HS of the Day: July 25, 2008
Claim to Fame: Marilyn was part of the New Romantic movement of the early 1980s. He ran with Boy George and Spandau Ballet. When Boy George became an international superstar in the 80s, Marilyn had a moment with the single "Calling Your Name." His debut album bombed in the UK.

Where is he now? Marilyn was in the 2003 reality show "The Salon." He was also one of the characters in the Broadway musical "Taboo." Marilyn is still doing his thing today. Click here to see more pictures of his ass.

Why is he HS of the Week? Because Boy George may have had all the glory, but Marilyn had all the glamour! And because I have that same t-shirt he's wearing in the picture above. I wear it every Christmas to church.

How dare Sarah Larson show her wax face around these parts. The Robot Call Girl should be in a classroom writing "I Am A Terrible Gold Digger" over and over again on a chalkboard.

It looks like she dyed her hair a lovely shade of bullshit brown. It still doesn't hide the fact that she has failed at life! She was well on her way to becoming my newest hero and she shattered my dreams!

Anyway, Robot Call Girl hosted a party at Tao in Las Vegas on Friday night. She told People that she's loving the single life and not dating Jason Statham despite the rumors, "It's working for me. I'm staying single. I'm not dating anyone right now. I've been focusing a lot on work and things are going very well." Translation: Robot Call Girl's agency knows she fucked up, so they aren't sending her out anymore.

Here's some pics of Robot Call Girl looking like an Asian robot call girl at Tao on Friday night.

DUH! Of course that bitch did. She really should have picked a better cover picture of herself though. Page Six claims Vadge knew all about her brother's scandalous tell-all and even helped him write some of it. A source said, "She actually ghost-wrote parts of it with him, the way Princess Diana helped Andrew Morton write his book on her. That's why there's nothing too devastating in Chris's book. He's mean to others, but not so much to his sister."

The tell-all is all part of Vadge's publicity blitz to promote her "Dry & Sour" tour. Another source said that she is using the A-Rod scandal to her advantage and will wear a Yankee jersey in the finale of her show. The source said, "All of this was created to sell tickets for her tour, which hasn't been selling so well."

Everything she does is for publicity. She meant to walk outside looking like the bottom of a coffin. She probably gave her make-up artists a picture of Skeletor Anthony and said, "Make me look like this." She knew that picture would end up everywhere. Okay, not really. I'm just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Even all the publicity fuckery in the world won't make me spend $354.50 to watch Vadge thrust her memaw crotch. No way, no how.

This is the cover for Jessica Simpson's first cuntry album. The cover fits Jessica perfectly! It's cheap, boring and underwhelming. Just like her! I would say it looks like fan art, but does this bitch still have fans? This cover is still better than Papa Joe's idea. He probably wanted Jessica sucking on a lollipop while wearing a "Papa Joe's little girl" crop top that barely covered her nipples.

Doesn't the title need a question mark? Wait, I get it. Jessica's dumb face is the question mark.

Source: Sweet Kisses

The mega dick bag known as Shia LaDouche was arrested on suspicion of felony DUI this morning in Hollywood. This wasn't just your regular DUI either. This dumb douche could have killed someone.

According to TMZ, Shia made an illegal left turn in front of a car at the intersection of La Brea and Fountain. This caused the other car to hit Shia at which point his car rolled. Or as Brit Brit would say "roled." Apparently, Shia was clearly drunk at the scene.

The victim and Shia were both taken to the hospital. Shia seriously injured his hand and will need surgery. Hopefully, he didn't fuck up his jack off hand. Actually, it doesn't matter. He's not going to need his jack off hand in jail.

Shia's passenger suffered a minor head injury. The victim is currently being treated for minor injuries as well. Right now, the police are deciding whether or not to book him on felony DUI or misdemeanor DUI. Either way, he should be charged with being a first class FUCKTARD.

Shia was arrested last year for being a drunken mess at a Walgreen's in Chicago. So Shia getting a DUI isn't much of a surprise.

The thing is, I am trying to like Shia, but he's letting the gene known as "doucheness" take over.

UPDATE: Shia is one lucky douche. TMZ reports that he won't be charged with felony DUI, but he will be charged with misdemeanor DUI. He's currently in surgery having his left hand fixed. His female passenger and the male victim had minor injuries including bruises and shit.

The Taster's Choice Couple played by Sharon Maughan and Anthony Stewart Head - They were originally in the Nescafe ads in the UK and were so popular that they brought them to the US. Anthony was also in "Buffy the Vampire Player" for a long ass time.

Below is a hot montage of their Nescafe commercials from the UK:

Julian McMahon (40)
Cheyenne Kimball (18)
Nick Hogan (18)
Jonathan Rhys-Meyers (31)
Alex Rodriguez (33)
Maya Rudolph (36)
Takashi Shimizu (36)
Maria Grazia Cucinotta (39)
Triple H (39)
Juliana Hatfield (41)
Bill Engvall (51)
Yahoo Serious (55)
Maureen McGovern (59)
Peggy Fleming (60)