Archives

The chick who was in the car with Shia LaDouche during his drunken car crash has been identified as Australian actress Isabel Lucas. Isabel is currently shooting "Transformers 2" with Shia. She's also doing sexy times with Adrian Grenier. You know what this means? Curly-haired dick bag fight! And yes, Shia has curly hair. Click here to see this extra sexy picture of him working those curly locks.

Isabel wasn't seriously injured when Shia's Ford F-150 flipped over after he made an illegal left turn and got broadsided. Shia fucked up his left hand and it required surgery. He's also taking one month off to recover.

According to UsWeekly, LaDouche partied at the Troubadour before the crash. Some nosy bitch claimed he kept doing shots of whiskey. The nosy bitch went on to say, "He was dancing around and acting really crazy. He stayed until the band was done and then stumbled out of the club by himself."

He left by himself? So he must have picked up Isabel on his way home. Boo-tay call!

The NYDN reports that Adrian isn't happy that his girlfriend was out with LaDouche at 3 in the morning. He has nothing to worry about. They were just going to run lines at his house. And by "run lines" I mean LaDouche was going to snort coke off her snatch.

This September, AC Slater will replace Mark McGrath and Dayna Devon as the new host of "Extra." Mark has been kicked off, but Dayna will stay as a special correspondent. Some important person that works on Extra told People, "Mario ... has established himself as a highly engaging, likeable and sought-after host and personality." Likeable to who?! Baboons?

Great, AC Slater is already annoying and now that he's joining an "entertainment news show," he's going to be even more annoying. Mark McGrath was tolerable before he joined "Extra." As soon as I saw him on that show, he instantly became a robot prick. All of those crazy entertainment news people are totally irritating.

Name one that doesn't make you want to wet yourself. Pat O'Brien? CREEPY! Mary Hart? FRAUDULENT! Billy Bush? ACK! Victoria Recano? Ugh! Don't even get me started on that bitch!

Amy Wino was rushed to the emergency room of London's University College Hospital tonight. Paramedics were called to her home in Camden around 8pm. Shortly after they arrived, they wheeled her into an ambulance as Mitch Wino watched. Apparently, she was breathing with the help of an oxygen tank. Her rep confirms that she's been admitted to the hospital.

The rep wouldn't say why she's in the hospital, but it's pretty fucking obvious. This news makes me want to open up my window and scream, "Winoooooo."

That hot police lady seems really concerned....

UPDATE: Her rep has issued this statement, "Amy Winehouse suffered a reaction to medication at home this evening and was taken to the hospital. Doctors have advised that she will be kept under observation overnight and is likely to be released tomorrow." Yeah, it's not such a good idea to mix crack with prescription medication. I'm not a doctor, but that's just a hunch.

My hero's husband, Kelsey Grammer, is in the hospital! Camille Grammer's sugar pepaw fainted in NYC over the weekend while promoting "Swing Vote." His rep told UsWeekly, “Kelsey felt faint last night so he went to the hospital to have things checked out. They are altering his medications." His rep said he will bust out of the hospital tomorrow.

Last month, Kelsey had a minor heart attack in Hawaii.

Earlier, I decided to do a little google research on Camille, because I'm in love with her. I found out Kesley has had some tragic shit happen in his life. His father was murdered, his sister was murdered and his twin half-brothers were killed by a shark! Also, his second wife tried to kill herself while she was pregnant. She lost their child.

To top it all off, Camille has a form of IBS. That's why she used a surrogate to give birth to both of their kids. Yeah, right. She just didn't want to get fat. I'm joking! Camille is an angel.

Kelsey is in good (and expensive) hands. He has one of the greatest gold diggers in the world caring for him. If anyone can heal him, it's Camille.

LifeStyles Condoms has offered 15-year-old Miley Cyrus $1 million to be the new "face" of their product. They think that Miley, a self-proclaimed virgin, could encourage other teens to practice safe sex.

The VP of marketing for LifeStyles told Full Disclosure, "With recent reports showing that one out of four teenage girls has an STD and the high level of teenage pregnancy, we believe that Miley is both influential and relatable to this afflicted set. ve that Miley is both influential and relatable to this afflicted set - and is the obvious choice to get the message of safe sex out to teens across America."

In addition to the $1 million, LifeStyles also offered her a lifetime supply of condoms. A spokesbitch for Miley said they aren't interested and it's never going to happen.

This isn't a bad idea. Miley could get Disney involved too. You know how they have those cutesy Disney band-aids? They can do the same thing for condoms and give them cute names like Winnie the Lube or Crurubber de Vil.

I've never used LifeStyles so I couldn't say if a lifetime supply would be worth it. I'm strictly Trojan. And if there aren't any Trojans around, I'll just use a sandwich baggie, a rubber band and some vaseline. You know, the "KFed" method. What am I saying? He doesn't use condoms.

International supermodel Phoebe Price was the #2 most searched bitch on Yahoo today. FAME! Okay, 80% of those searches probably came from Chicken Cutlets, 15% came from me, and the other 5% came from the Foster Farms chickens. It doesn't matter how she got there, it only matters that she's there.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go search for PP another hundred times. Super Chuck Norris is coming for her chicken cutlets! Wait, I can't type Chuck Norris' name without leaving you with a CN fact: When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. And another one: Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.

And here's the ravishing Elvira Phoebe wearing a Gucci dress from the clearance rack at The Mummy 3 premiere yesterday.

File this under: I'm sure there's many more like him to come.

A Batman fanboy was busted yesterday in Michigan for trying to steal "The Dark Knight" posters and other shit from a movie theater. 20-year-old Spencer Taylor went to the theater dressed as The Joker. He was charged with larceny and malicious destruction of property. The cops made him take his mug shot in and out of make-up. Those smart ass cops just wanted to show their friends this fuckery.

This is just sad. You know that boy spent hours in parents' basement carefully applying his make-up using his mommy's Bonne Bell black eyeshadow, her Borghese red lipstick and white flour he got from the kitchen. He also spent hours trying to find the perfect outfit from his local Salvation Army and Charlotte Russe.

That being said, I'd dress up as Batman and let him hit it. Or would he want me to dress up as fug-faced Maggie Gyllenhag? It doesn't matter! Just buy me the costume and tell me who to be!

Source: The Smoking Gun

During a show in Mountain View, CA, last night, John Mayer told the audience about a dream he had. In his dream, he made out with a chick who wasn't his girlfriend. A bitch who was at his show told E!, "He was talking about 'dream cheating. He apparently made out with some chick in his dreams. He had to do his penance to his girlfriend by singing 'Dreaming with a Broken Heart.'"

Jennifer Aniston probably flipped her chin when she found out about his dream. She cornered him and screamed, "You cheater! How dare you!?" John had to explain to her it was only a dream. She didn't care, "I thought you were different. But you're not! Who was the tramp?! WHO?! Let me fucking guess. Her first name stars with an A and ends with an N." John responded, "You mean ends with an A?" That's when Jenny made him shave off all his hair off. She used it to make a potion to ward off the cheating spirits.

Here's John making "diarrhea faces" while playing Irvine, CA the other night. I miss his 80s mop.

I'm beginning to think that the fug ass choker Ali Lohan always wears is what's holding up her neck. She must be taking fashion advice from White Oprah. You know what's worse? I decided to google "Ali Lohan choker" to see if there were people out there that hated her choker as much as I did. I want to start a group called "Sluts Against Ali Lohan's Choker." We all need a cause. Anyway, my google search led me to this question someone posted on Yahoo:

Where can you buy a black coker, like Ali Lohan wears?
I don't like her, but I like that black choker she always wears on 'Living Lohan'. Does anyone know where to get one? Links appreciated!

Black coker? She needs to ask White Oprah about that one. This is a bigger problem than I thought! Someone out there actually wants to wear one of Ali Lohan's black "cokers." I'm so tempted to write this lost child with, "I don't know where you can buy a black coker, but I do know where you can by a noose."

Here's 45-year-old Ali, SamRo, SamRo's twin sissy, HomoHan and White Oprah leaving the Bowery Hotel in NYC. White Oprah has that lovely "coke and vodka" glow about her.

This makes me feel uncomfortable. Janet from "90210" is naked! And that red penis plant in the corner isn't helping - Egotastic!

Emma Watson, go fix yourself! - Just Jared

Traci Bingham keeps it elegant - Hollywood Tuna

Blake Lively slips a nip. A silver dolla nip! (NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Nelly partially drops his pants for Sean John - Towleroad

Vintage Kathy Ireland - IDLYITW

Brigitte Nielsen's plastic surgery makeover worked. She looks like a Muppet - Cityrag

The new "Gossip Girl" promos. Already? - Lainey Gossip

HoHan wasn't hit by a bike. That sucks - Popsugar

Keira Knightley doesn't want bigger chichis. Even CGI ones - Hollywood Rag