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Dr. Quinn and mother of twins, Jane Seymour, has a little advice for Saint Angelina. Ruh roh. I really wish someone would have stopped her, but now she's on her own.

Jane told OK!, "My advice to her is to put some weight on. I think she needs to keep putting on weight so she can feed those babies. I don't think she should think twice. She hasn't put on enough weight." Gulp. Do you hear that? It's the stampede heading for Jane's house.

She went on to say that she nearly kicked the bucket when she had her twins, "I had preclampsia, which is toxemia, and I had to have an emergency C-section and I almost lost my life. So my advice to her [Jolie] is to listen to your doctors and if they say bed rest and they say blood pressure cuff every hour and they say whatever medication they say, you should take it very seriously."

My advice to Jane is to immediately go into her bedroom, lock the door, put her dresser in front of it, get under the covers and stay there until further notice. If she can, she should arm herself with a full-sized poster of Jennifer Aniston and a vial of Billy Bob Thornton's blood. Brangaloonies can't get near that shit!

And Jane is right, but she should have privately sent Saint Angelina a gift certificate to Chili's instead of telling it to a magazine.

Pamela Anderson entered the Big Brother Australia house today and kissed the floor with her chocha lips before she entered. It totally took a couple of cranes to get that bitch off the ground. Her chocha is like a Dyson and didn't want to let go.

Pammy wouldn't say how much money she's getting paid to be on BB for a few days, but she said it was "a lot" and "much more than I'm worth." She can say that again.

She also said that she's heard about Big Brother, but "we don't have it in America." Umm....well...there's this one show called "Big Brother" and it begins its 10th season here in America. Now, I don't know if they are related, but.... Yeah, Pam has jizz for brains.

Pam was also planning to stage a huge KFC protest for Peta, but was told by reporters that KFC is a major sponsor of Big Brother Australia. She responded, "Well, you know, I didn't know that KFC had anything to do with the show." Errrr...obviously.

Pam has already entered the house. Click here to see tons of video of her mess on the show. Can they just lock the doors and keep her quarantined there forever? We're done with her. She's all yours, Australia! Crikey!

Thanks Stacey

Who knew mega stoner Matthew McConaughey was the type to whore out his baby for millions of dollars? He obviously is the type, because TMZ reports that OK! Magazine beat out People for the first photos of Wrangler Jeans or whatever the hell that baby's name is.

OK! will coughed up 3 million clams for the deal which also includes baby's first Christmas. He's not even a week old.

Hopefully, Matthew will take some of that cash and move his family out of the trailer park! I doubt Baby Chic Jeans really wants to sleep in a kitchen drawer. Oh shit! I said Chic Jeans. That was the hottest commercial ever:

The golden chosen twins are coming this Tuesday! Shit, instead of dusting off your Brangelina shrine, you should clean out your bomb shelter. I'm sure the presence of the twin messiahs will knock out electrical, gas and water lines. You better stock up on bottled water for your Kool-Aid.

According to InTouch (via DM), Angie Jo has scheduled her c-section for this Tuesday. A source said that when Angie first arrived at the hospital in Nice, France, she all nice and shit, but now she's turning into a real cunt. The source said, "She's starting to feel that the staff are starstruck and not attentive enough. She's throwing fits if she rings and they don't come quick enough."

Angie has also demanded the hospital serve her royal ass salmon even though it's not on the hospital menu. "I think she's in meltdown mode. She's been getting upset if there's not enough ice in her glass," said the source.

Those nurses better watch it. It only takes one phone call from Saint Angelina for them to spend the rest of eternity in hell. Seriously, I think God and Buddha are both in her T-Mobile Fave 5.

In other chosen ones news, a radio station in Canada is offering Brangelina $1 million cash if they name their messiahs Mauler and Rush. Mauler and Rush are the name of two DJs on HOT 89-9 in Ottawa, Canada. Actually, those are fucking perfect names, but this shit is never going to happen. Saint Angelina queefs out $1 million in cash. That ain't nothing to her.

Thanks Mari & Cam

The tranny tale romance between New York and Tailor Made is over! This only proves that true love does not exist. They were the romance of our time!

A source told People that Tailor Made's contract was up and he was getting lock jaw from sucking New York's dick so much. NO! The source really said, “He had come to the conclusion that he couldn’t handle the relationship anymore. It was too distracting to his life, his career and his daughter. He couldn’t consistently be involved in that kind of drama.”

A rep for Vh1 said they broke up in March and all the drama will be shown on New York's new reality show "New York Goes To Hollywood To Get A Sex Change."

The source also claims that New York and Tailor Made only stayed together after "I Love New York 2" for the sake of her new show, “When they began shooting, he played it up that they were still together even though they weren’t. They had an understanding because he has respect for Tiffany.” You mean to tell me that reality show relationships are fake?! NOOO! Shane and Matt from the Bachelor are still in love. I know it!

Seriously, this news sucks for Tailor Made, but it's good news for all you tranny lovers out there! So you can cancel your account to TransPersonals and instead send your picture and stats to New York!

Source

Chichi power alert!!! You might remember Toccara as the bitch who should have won America's Next Top Model 3. TyTy Baby didn't choose her, because she's jeaaaaaalous. You might also remember Toccara as the hot ass bitch who went off on the judges of Celebrity Fit Club. The bitch is back and bigger than ever. Well, her chichis are bigger than ever!

Toccara is in the new issue of Vogue Italia. You just know TyTy Baby is going to take credit for all of this. I can hear her now, "Well, I remember the time I got Toccara into Vogue...."

These pictures are hotter than a cat's pussy on an August afternoon, but where the hell are her nipples?! I assumed the bitch had huge silver dollar nippies. What the fuck happened to them? Did TyTy chew them off or something?

And is it just me or does Toccara sort of look like Alexyss K. Tylor in these pictures?

Visit Top Model Livejournal to see Toccara's full airbrushed-to-hell spread in Vogue.

Let's cut to the chase, White Oprah's cokey bull nostrils can probably blow better Ali Lohan can. The 45-year-old bitch can't sing, but thanks to modern technology, she sounds OK. "All the Way Around" is Ali's first single and I'm pretty sure this shit was originally written back in the 80s for Expose or the Cover Girls.

It's not completely atrocious. Oh, who am I fooling?! It's a vomit inducer for the ears! I can just picture that old bag with her 90s choker on whining into the microphone, while White Oprah tries to booty dance in the background. Nana sits in the corner with her vanilla wafers in one hand and her bong in the other.

VIA Mollygood

We're at the halfway point in determining who will dethrone international supermodel Phoebe Price as the "Hottest Babe of the Year." June has brought us six possible Hot Sluts of the Month. We've got a straight gayelle, an iron vagina and the queen of chichis. Here are your choices:

Maxi Mounds - Model, demure beauty and owner of the biggest fake chichis in the world!!!
Miyavi - He-she Japanese rock star and fashion icon
Andrea Evans - The hottest bitch on daytime television
Kate Gosselin - Reality star, mother of 8 and runner-up to Michelle Duggar for having the saddest vagina in the country
Michael Ian Black - Funny person
Mia Michaels - Straight gayelle choreographer and reality show judge with an amazing last name

Voting is in the right sidebar. The winning slut will be announced on Friday. Happy voting!

Heidi Klum's amateur oral skills. I mean, she doesn't even deep throat! - Hollywood Tuna

Grace Jones is baaaaaack - Towleroad

JLo's juicy ass in a bikini has returned - Egotastic!

Liv Tyler, please don't turn around - IDLYITW

While Robot Call Girl blabs away, George Clooney is living the Lake Como life - Popsugar

John Mayer fucks groupies. Duh. - Lainey Gossip

Reese Witherspoon and her daughter are straight-up twins - Just Jared

Posh almost died in a plane crash!!! - A Socialite's Life

Asshole Simpson owns the same dress in ten million different colors and patterns (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Beware of the Crazy Train - Cityrag

Kate Moss and Dreamboat are totally getting back together - Hollywood Rag

Lenny Kravitz somehow found himself in the middle of the A-Rod/Vadge drama after he invited Cynthia Rodriguez to Paris so that she could get away from all the attention. Shortly after that, rumors of Lenny and C-Rod doing sexy times together started to spread. A source told Page Six that when Lenny found out about the rumors, he "looked like he was going to throw up." He was probably just picturing C-Rod's buff bagina.

C-Rod's trainer thinks Lenny's manager (now ex-manager), Guy Oseary, is to blame. Oseary also manages Vadge and A-Rod.

About two weeks ago C-Rod's trainer called Lenny to let him know that Oseary was planning to whore out the Vadge and A-Rod story to the media. Lenny immediately fired Oseary.

Now Lenny thinks that Oseary is the one who leaked the fake story of him cheating with C-Rod to the media as a payback for firing him. Are you still following this? Because I'm not. Anyway, a spokesbitch for Lenny confirmed that he fired Oseary as his manager two weeks ago.

This whole saga is turning into a really bad Jackie Collins novel without the glamour and champagne. We just need to get all of them on Jerry Springer already, because this shit is out of control.