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Oh. My. God. I am seriously hyperventilating over these gorgeous pictures of The Empress of Lucite in her royal garb last night! She even wore the official royal ribbon over her exquisite lucite heels.

Just when I think there's no way she can outdo herself in the "elegant" department, she does. Webster's dictionary owes it to the world to change the meaning of the word elegant to simply "Shauna Sand." The word should only be used to describe Shauna and nothing else!

Last night, Shauna took off her royal coochie cutters outside of Foxtail in West Hollywood. Shauna, being the saint that she is, probably decided to do the lovely people of Los Angeles a gift by cleaning up the air with her beautifully scented vagina. Her chocha probably smells like a million Little Tree air fresheners. No, her chocha is like a fucking Febreze factory.

These pictures of Shauna will dance in my dreams tonight. Here's more of her last night and also getting her nails done earlier in the day. They probably used liquid rubies to paint her nails.

I woke up this morning and my first thought was "I wonder what Katie is wearing on her legs today?" No fucking joke. You know what? This is what Tommy Girl wants! I'm slowly becoming obsessed with her jeans. They are hypnotizing me. If I start craving barley and saying "glib" a lot, then I know I'm doomed.

She totally threw me off today. Black jeans? They look like JcPenney's version of skinny jeans. Skinny jeans for soccer moms. I'm hoping she's going to really throw me the fuck out of my chair tomorrow by wearing aqua acid washed overalls. I fucking hope!

Birthday: March 14, 1960
Age: 48
Birth Name: Louise Anne Robey

Original Date of HS of the Day: August 9, 2008
Claim to Fame: Model turned pop star turned actress. She is best known for playing Micki in Friday the 13th: The Series. That shit was her last major role.

Where is she now? She lives in France and makes her living in music, writing songs and producing other bitches. Visit her MySpace to hear some of her music.

Why is she HS of the Week? Because of her amazing video for "One Night in Bangkok." I posted that shit yesterday, but it deserves an encore. I even had a dream about this avant-garde shit!

Soul legend Isaac Hayes died today at the age of 65. He would have turned 66 in 10 days.

Isaac's wife found him unconscious next to the treadmill inside of their Memphis home this morning. When paramedics arrived, they tried to revive him and took him to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead at around 2 this afternoon. No foul play is suspected, but a cause of death has not yet been announced.

Isaac has won several Grammys. He also won an Oscar for the theme song to "Shaft." Isaac was the voice for Chef on "South Park" from 1997 to 2006. Isaac Hayes, who was a Scientologist, left the show because of an episode which made fun of Scientology.

Ugh! Bernie Mac yesterday and now Isaac Hayes today?! Bernie and Isaac did a movie together called "Soul Men" which comes out later this year. Samuel L. Jackson is also in that movie. Get Samuel to the safe house!

This shit too much, seriously. Isaac Hayes will be missed!

Rest in peace, Isaac.....

Source

How long is Brit Brit's real hair? Does she even have real hair? Maybe she only has two little hairs holding on to her scalp for dear life. The weave whores just superglue My Little Pony's tail directly onto her head. Shit, maybe her scalp grows fake hair.

I want to know what's hiding underneath that polyester mess. I bet the secret recipe for Starbucks' Frapp is tattooed on her head.

That being said, at least the weave looks sort of clean. I don't see Cheeto bits stuck in it, so she's doing alright.

Here's Brit Brit buying more clothes yesterday with her hot bodyguard. He's wearing too many clothes though. Brit Brit should make him wear a thong made out of Cheetos.

And she's wearing her son's names on her necklace, but isn't it SEAN and not PRESTON? Hey, at least she got one of his names right. You know she really wanted to wear her other necklace with the names Chester and Frapp on it.

Obviously, Balthazar was getting some shit to stop the itching "down there." Sienna's used to it. Besides, when the itching gets really bad, her crabs scratch it for her. I zoomed into her bag to see if she was buying a pregnancy test. A secret baby would make this story so much better! Unfortunately, I think she was just buying corn removers.....for her vagina.

Balthazar and Sienna have been flaunting their skankness all around Malibu for the past few days. Even though their relationship is pretty much out in the open, Sienna apparently wants Balthazar's wifey to publicly admit that her vagina of destruction had nothing to do with the break up of their marriage.

Some source told The News of the World, “Sienna is being portrayed as a femme fatale and fears for her career because Hollywood hates a home wrecker. She hopes Balthazar can get Rosetta to put out a statement saying their marriage was already over. They have already got friends to speak out, saying he was sleeping on their sofas.”

Femme Fatale? More like a mega slut with a shameless chocha! Since when does being a major whore in Hollywood eff up your career? It's not like this is Seinna's first time at the homewrecking rodeo! Jude Law anyone?

And the Hollywood machine loves a happy homewrecker. In fact, they worship them. They even give them $14 million for pictures of their chosen ones.

Ugly Betty vs. Serena van der Woodsen! The Soup made fun of this hot clip from "Good Day LA" of America Ferrera and Blake Lively promoting that movie about a pair of pants with a lot of frequent flier miles.

The hos at Good Day asked Blake about "Gossip Girl" and America's facial expressions are fucking priceless throughout the whole thing. America starts out with just taking her frustrations out on her fingers and then she can't take it anymore, so she gives Blake the evil side-eye AND the eye-roll. Double whammy!

She was also playing with her fingers to keep herself from slapping Blake in the teeth. I have a new found respect for Ugly Betty.

Thanks Nik

The crazy dog cloning lady is the crazy Mormon man rapist! The other day I posted the long and scandalous tale of Joyce McKinney, a woman who kidnapped her Mormon lover and forced him to do sexy times with him. She also did a bunch of other crazy shit like pretend to be a deaf mute mime.

Many people came forward claiming Joyce McKinney is the same woman as Bernann McKinney, the crazy lady who paid South Korean scientists $50,000 to clone her dead dog Booger.

The whole saga is way too long to repeat again, so click here if you have no idea what in aqua hell I'm talking about.

Well, Bernann McKinney admitted to the Associated Press that she is Joyce McKinney! I knew it! You could see the crazy in her eyes then and you can still see it now! Bernann (or Joyce) was never brought to justice in the UK for allegedly kidnapping and doing mean sexy times to her ex-lover.

She said she only went public about cloning her dead dog Booger, because she thought people would be able to forget the past. She said, ''I thought people would be honest enough to see me as a person who was trying to do something good and not as a celebrity. My mother always taught me, 'Say something good or say nothing at all.' 'I think I gave people too much credit." WTF?! She is a fugitive of the law!

Unfortunately, London police said they are not pursuing the case. They said that shit is old and they've moved on. Bernann denies that she ever forced sex upon her ex-lover, ''I didn't rape no 300-pound man. He was built like a Green Bay Packer.'' Yes, but a woman with crazy running through her veins can easily take on a big man! Especially when he's handcuffed to a bed! Mink-handcuffs, but still handcuffed!

Bernann went on to say that she isn't Joyce McKinney anymore, that woman has been gone for a long time. ''It's taken years of therapy to get past this. We go to church and serve the Lord and try to lead good lives and do good things.'' Dear Bernann, reading "Chicken Soup for the Soul" does not count as therapy! Sorry to tell you that.

Besides, the whole Mormon kidnapping thing, Bernann also has charges against her for threatening a woman in 2003, writing bad checks, assaulting a public official and an animal cruelty charge for not taking care of a horse properly. That charge was later dropped.

Somebody needs to call Annemarie Lucas from "Animal Precinct" to get her to save those cloned puppies! You know Bernann is thinking of turning them into fur handcuffs for her Mormon lover.

The husband of the woman Bernann threatened a few years ago, said he recognized her almost immediately. "She's ugly as sin now. But, sure enough, that's her.''

When is Tyra Banks going to have this woman on her show?! Oprah wouldn't understand Bernann's crazy the way Ty Ty would.

I really hope someone is working on a Lifetime movie version of Bernann's life. This shit was made for the small screen! Brit Brit can play Joyce McKinney and Delta Burke can play Bernann McKinney.

And in case you missed it, here's crazy in action:

Patricia Routledge - She played Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced "Bouquet") on BBC's "Keeping Up Appearances."

For Kath

Justin Theroux (37)
Devon Aoki (26)
Kaysar Ridha (28)
Angie Harmon (36)
Antonio Banderas (48)
Rosanna Arquette (49)
Diane Venora (56)
Patti Austin (58)
Ronnie Spector (65)
Betsey Johnson (66)