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Tommy Girl in a superhero movie? Unless it's "Supergirl" and he's in the title role, I'm not interested. I mean, he has the costume for it and everything.

Instead of following his destiny by playing "Supergirl," Tommy Girl will star in DC Comics "Sleeper" for Warner Bros. Sam Raimi will produce this mess. Warner Bros. is also hoping to turn it into a franchise. Currently no writer or director is attached to the project.

The Hollywood Reporter has more details on this shit fest:

Written by Ed Brubaker with art by Sean Phillips, "Sleeper," which ran from 2003-05, centers on an operative whose fusion with an alien artifact makes him impervious to pain and allows him to pass it on to others through skin contact. He is placed undercover in a villainous organization by an intelligence agency and falls for a member of the group, named Miss Misery.

Alien artifact? Are we sure this isn't called "The Tommy Girl" story? That synopsis sounds like it was ripped from the pages of his future autobiography.

Screw Tommy and his stupid movies! Suri is the one that should be on the silver screen. Look at her in these pictures below. She's the star of that family!

She's totally having an intense conversation with that doll. She's probably interviewing it for the position of her sibling. It's nice of Katie and Tommy to include Suri in the process.

The bitch who airbrushed this mess must have been on the verge of getting fired and knew about it, because it's obvious that they didn't give a turtle's dick (NSFW) about this shit. This is some sweatshop fuckery. It pretty much looks like shit you would find at the dollar store.

Now let's talk about the description. This was seriously written by a wet queef. There is no way that an actual person put this together. Like some tranny liquid is really going to make me "stand up for what I believe in." It'll probably make me hungry for red lipstick and orange grease.

And what in pink hell is up with the cheese grater in back of Xtina? Is that a metaphor or something? I know what "cut the cheese" means, but what does "shred the tranny clown" mean?

VIA ONTD

Holy hell! It's Devil Pussy! It's like he was made just for my dark-sided heart. I want to snuggle with him and blow into his four ears while we plot our next evil move together! Unfortunately, the dumb broad who adopted Devil Pussy thinks he looks more like Yoda from "Star Wars." NOT. Bitch needs to get her eyeballs rotated, because she's mistaken.

Yoda (aka Devil Pussy) was adopted by a couple from Chicago almost two years. Valerie and Ted Rock were boozing at their local watering hole when they noticed a cage filled with kittens near the bar. The owners brought the lil' pussies to the bar to find them homes. Brilliant idea! Pass out the innocent kitties to a bunch of drunks! The owners must be crackheads. Wait. Yoda is a crack kitty! That's why he grew four ears. I love him even more.

Anypussy, Valerie immediately noticed Yoda and his four ears. She said it was love at first purr and they adopted him on the spot.

Their vet said he had never seen anything like Yoda. After examining him, the vet claims Yoda can't hear out of his extra ears and everything else is much pretty normal.

Valerie is paranoid that someone is going to try and pussynap Yoda, so she always keeps him indoors. Good thinking. You just know that after reading this story, Bernann McKinney put her crazy ass on a Greyhound bus headed for Chicago. I don't blame her. I want a Yoda pussy of my own! Does he do parties at least?

Image: Fame Pictures

Every so often I notice that Hasbro updates "Clue" and other games by changing the look of a character or even adding new bitches temporarily. Do you remember that slut Miss Peach? She was always my favorite. Well, Hasbro has gone way too far this time. They have pretty much remade "Clue."

The characters have now been given first names, made younger and their bios have changed. Basically, Hasbro is trying to get kids to buy this shit.

Miss Scarlet is now Kasandra Scarlet, a famous actress and stupid slut. Mr. Green is now Jacob Green, a mysterious and well connected African-American dude. Colonel Mustard is Jack Mustard, a former football playing douche. Professor Plum is Victor Plum, a billionaire video game designer.

Mrs. Peacock is Eleanor Peacock and Mrs. White is Diane White. You just know Diane White is probably an "executive assistant" instead of a maid.

Each character also has some kind of "special power" to help players discover clues faster. Whatever the fuck that means. I hope by "special power," they mean a bottle of vodka. That's the only way to get me excited about this fuckery.

The pipe, gun and wrench have been dropped and replaced with a pistol, ax, baseball bat, dumbbell, trophy and poison. Dumbbell?! At least replace that shit with things that make sense. Like Parasite Hilton's vagina, a car driven by Brit Brit and one of Wino's crack pipes.

They have also added new rooms including a theater, spa and guest house.

The new shit version goes on sale this Fall. Your ass better run out and get the old one before this shit hits stores.

Source VIA ONTD

MTV has already announced its plans to commit first-degree murder by remaking the cult musical "Rocky Horror Picture Show." It will only be shown on MTV. Hey, look on the bright side. This will be the first time in many years that MTV actually plays music.

Casting hasn't been announced for this diarrhea fiesta, but sources claim Russell Brand has been asked to fill Tim Curry's garter belt as Dr. Frank-N-Furter. I think I'm going to be sick. I just imagined Russell's twin furballs stuffed into lacy panties. I can take his furballs on their own, but not in a pair of skimpy muff covers.

Russell has had some success in the US with his role in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," so whores at MTV think he's a perfect choice. You know who's an absolutely perfect choice to play this role? Tim Curry circa 1975. That's who!

Source

People Magazine better put a few million dollars away just in case international supermodel Phoebe Price is with child. I'm sure there will be an all-out bidding war for the exclusive pictures of her beloved chicken cutlet baby. I hear Backyard Poultry magazine has major bank!

Now who could the father be? I've narrowed it down to Russell Brand, Foghorn Leghorn, Chicken Boo, and Michael K. Okay, scratch off the last name. Wishful thinking!

Here's more of PP looking like a stunning bouquet of red fern and violets outside of Mr. Chow last night. And in the image above, I totally thought that was Jay Leno standing in the doorway, mesmerized by Chicken Cutlets' beauty. It's just an imposter!

24-year-old Angel Pantoja Medina of Puerto Rico apparently told his family that when he passes away, he wants to stand upright through his wake. Well, his family granted his wish. Dressed in a Yankees cap, sunglasses and a gold chain, Angel was mourned by family members while standing tall in his mother's living room for 3 days.

The funeral home told The Associated Press that they used a special embalming treatment to keep him standing. His brother said, "He wanted to be happy, standing."

The police are currently investigating Angel's death. His body was found underneath a bridge last Friday.

I guess it's not that strange. I mean, I want half of my ashes stuffed into one of Shauna Sand's exquisite lucite heels. I want the other half scattered along Robertson Blvd. That way I will always be with international supermodel Phoebe Price. Oh and save a line of my ashes for Amy Wino. I want her to snort me up, Keith Richards-style.

Okay, I take it back. After going through these pictures, I need someone to hold my hand and feed me a Twinkie. I'm a little uncomfortable

Hideously ugly tattoos in stupid places - Cityrag

Karl Lagerfeld as Lil Wayne - Lainey Gossip

Ceiling Eyes showing off her fake tittays - Just Jared

And here she is showing them off some more (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Kelly Brook wears the fugliest bikinis - IDLYITW

David Beckham the Musical?! They'll have to find a male soprano to sing the title role - Popsugar

Brian McFadden says straight men don't wear pink - Towleroad

Kate Beckinsale stuffs her "pharaoh's tomb" into a bikini - Hollywood Tuna

Is Kate Moss a band wrecker? - Hollywood Rag

We all can see Meagan Good's nipples - Egotastic!

Chris Kattan and his new wife, model Sunshine Tutt, have split up after only 8 weeks of marriage. Okay, let's talk about her name first. Sunshine Tutt?! I don't like that shit. Let's call her Sunny Titts instead. That's better.

Chris' spokesbitch told UsWeekly that the two are "separated for the moment. No plans for divorce at this time." Sunny Titts and Chris married in California on June 28th after dating for 3 years. They got engaged in 2006.

I'm fucking telling you. Marriage kills everything! Every time a couple is married, a baby bunny dies a painful death. I'm sure of it. Look at Chris and Sunny Titts! They date for 3 long years, get married and two months later - DONE!

Oh, I see what's going on here. Look at Sunny Titts' face in the picture above. She's thinking, "Ahahaha! This fairy monkey actually married me! I'll be rich in exactly 8 weeks!" That warms my black heart. I love it when a gold digger almost completes her mission. I say "almost," because we don't know if there was a prenup. If Sunny Titts signed one, she's dead to me!

Sorry to burst your cum bubble, but the supposed Bigfoot found in Georgia by a couple of dumb dumbs is nothing more than a rubber suit that can be bought in any costume shop. SHOCKING!

Two dudes claimed they found the body of Bigfoot in Georgia. They even held a big press conference last Friday where Bigfoot's body failed to show up. The dudes plugged their website and a stupid Bigfoot hunting tour instead.

The owner of SearchingforBigfoot.com, Tom Biscardi, also got played by the two hoaxers. That's pretty fucking ironic since Tom is a Bigfoot hoaxer himself. According to Fox News, Tom paid an "undisclosed sum" to the hoaxers. He also sent a private investigator to Georgia to investigate the body. The PI found nothing more than a Halloween costume.

Tom immediately called the two dudes and they admitted it was all a hoax. They agreed to meet him at a hotel in California. When Tom showed up, they were gone. Bigfoot hoaxers on the run!

Yeah, I know. This is the most unsurprising news of the years. What's with all these fucking hoaxes lately? First came the Montauk Monster and now Bigfoot! Don't even get me started on that Chupacabra bullshit. These dumb bitch hoaxers need to stop playing with my emotions!