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The good hos at Gawker have pointed out that Katie Holmes' latest "look at me" jeans were obviously made to be worn at a RaVe. I have to agree. All she's fucking missing is a pacifier, glowsticks, dozens of beaded bracelets and a Cookie Monster backpack. Been there, done that. I'm surprised I still have my hearing after spending hours with my ear pressed up against the speaker, trying to "roll" with the bass. So fucking stupid.

Anyexctasy, here's Stepford Katie shuffling around NYC today. I'd rather she go back to tight-rolling her shit. And I think Tommy Girl is hiding in her bag.

It's nice to see that Sienna Miller isn't covering her ho face and cowering in the corner like a shamed hooker. This is exactly how she should carry herself. Eff all those bitches who don't understand the way of the slut. Their genitals will never do the things your genitals can do and they know it!

Here's Sienna and some jolly helper leaving a medical center in Beverly Hills yesterday. You can draw your own conclusions on why she was there. She was probably just getting her vagina rotated and oiled. It's a monthly chore, but all sluts have to do it.

Sheena the Warrior Princess of Harlem continues to be my favorite ho on Ty Ty's hour of crazy aka "America's Next Top Not-Model."

During last night's judging, Paulina, asked Sheena if she had fake tittays. Instead of saying "none of your beeeeeezwax," Sheena immediately said they were real. But after judging finished, she came forward and admitted they were as fake as that fugly hag Clark. Ty Ty's response was: "I knew they were real." Of course, she knew. Ty Ty's forehead has magical powers. It's all-knowing. I'm surprised Ty Ty didn't tell Sheena how many CCs of silicone she had in her plastic sacks.

The judges all applauded Sheena for being honest even though she lied about it to begin with. Don't worry. Ty Ty doesn't forget. She's going to bring this up later and use it as a reason to eliminate Sheena. It's going to come back to haunt her. The editors will make sure of that.

And let's talk about Hannah, the girl with polar bear shit for brains. Hannah has basically been labeled the "racist" in the house. I don't think she's racist, I just think she's a dumb bitch who was raised by Huskies. I sort of felt bad for her stupid ass when the other girls straight-up asked her if she was prejudiced. But then later, Hannah said that the girls ganging up on her was like "gang rape" and "gang violence." Ty Ty really knows how to pick 'em. I can't wait for the episode where Hannah is forced to pose naked with Isis. It's totally coming.

Below is a clip of Sheen's fake titty question do-over. And visit Top Model LiveJournal to see all the pics from the shoot. Why is Ty Ty's picture always the worst?

Karrine "Superhead" Steffans has always been a big ball of gooey class, so it's no surprise that she's taken to her blog to show off a bag of asshole trinkets allegedly belonging to Eddie Winslow. Yes, Eddie Winslow from "Family Matters." HA! Eddie Winslow likes a little bump in the rump.

I guess Eddie and Superhead used to date or something. Looks like it "ended" badly.

I love how Superhead is all grossed out from touching those used ass toys. Bitch, please. I'm sure she's had worse things on her hands than a little Winslow butt pudding. And I'm sure those ass toys wiggled in her parts a couple of times. But I do thank Superhead for introducing me to the phrase "ass dust."

Oh and the video is a little NSFWish. Cover Waldo Geraldo Faldo's eyes and ears then proceed with caution. Whoever guesses which model I own, wins a prize! I'm joking! About the prize part, I mean....

Source VIA C+D

I had to rub my eyes a few dozen times to make sure I read this shit right! Yesterday in Manhattan, MiserAlba, Baby Honor and her bodyguard got on the subway at Union Square to go to Brooklyn. The fucking subway! I would mortgage my soul to the devil to see MiserAlba on the subway.

Most bitches on the subway already look like they're waiting for a reason to curse you the fuck out. Me included. I can only imagine what MiserAlba's cranky ass face looked like while riding the train. In my dreams, I'm picturing that the train was completely full. When MiserAlba entered, nobody looked or offered her a seat. She had to stand the whole way while killing those hos with her eyes. Even Baby Honor joined in.

MiserAlba was in Brooklyn to see a new apartment. I've included a picture of the building in case any of you are looking to move there. Beware! There may be a dark cloud living over you!

Here's more of MiserAlba with Honor in Brooklyn and also some pictures of them with "Just in it for the" Cash Warren in Manhattan. Oh and MiserAlba's not smiling because she's happy. She's smiling because she still has the post-pregnancy farts.

Heeeeere's the video of Kanye (in the grey hood) throwing a wittle tantrum at LAX because some big bad pappies tried to take his picture. This is a lot more tame than I thought it would be. I mean, Kanye doesn't even say "SQUID BRAINS" once. Although, when one of the pappers starts screaming for the police, Kanye answers with "Ain't no police man!!" Well, there was some police around and they arrested his ass.

Kanye is currently marinating in a jail cell on $20,000 bond.

Why don't I ever see shit like this at the airport? The most exciting thing I've ever seen is a litle girl barfing on a dog. Since I put it that way, I thinkt he little girl barfing on a dog was more exciting than this shit.

VIA TMZ

Two haggard twats go to dinner - Popsugar

Jessica Simpson doesn't wear panties while performing outdoors in a short skirt - IDLYITW

Chace Crawford thinks Sarah Palin is attractive - Just Jared

He's also as "straight as they come" - Towleroad

Eva LongWHORIA is "not pregnant, just fat" and annoying - Lainey Gossip

Heather Graham still exists! - Hollywood Tuna

Did Dreamboat Doherty recently visit Kate Moss? - Hollywood Rag

Naked celebrities for Peta - Cityrag

Julianne Marguiles' long vagina or just her thighs pressed together? Ha. - Egotastic!

Holly Madison's boring nip slip (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Depressed Daisy is still in the hands of the big-tittied frog beast. I think Ty Ty Banks would call Daisy's stare, "begging for fucking mercy wit yo eyez." I feel for Daisy. It looks like she never got that secret package of ludes I sent her. Maybe she can find a little catnip to ease her pain.

Chestica is currently in NYC whoring out that big ole' cuntry album of hers. Ches' collection of dumb dumb ditties is #2 on iTunes. It was #1 yesterday. Somebody please take away Papa Joe's credit card. I mean, isn't there a limit on how many times you can download the same shit?!

Here's more of Papa Joe's "favorite girls" out in NYC last night.

Owner of the most grotesque frankenbellies in the world, Tara Reid, is engaged to Julien Jarmoune. Julien is a French fashion executive for J & Company. Julien is also legally blind. That's not confirmed, but I don't have any other reason on why he would marry Tara Reid.

One of Tara's friends told The National Enquirer that the two met while Tara was doing research for her own fashion line. The friend went on to say, "Tara's really in love with this guy, and he's had an amazingly calming effect on her."

Does the "amazingly calming effect" he provides her with come in powder form? Everyone knows the way to Tara's heart is through her nose.

Tara's friend also said that Julien has been a good influence on her. "She's trying to clean up her reputation. Julien has definitely changed Tara for the better. It looks like she's finally gotten her act together. They're talking about a wedding next summer."

Wonky Tits Tara is going to make a beautiful summer bride. I'm sure she's already ordered a custom made replica of this wedding dress.

SORRY, woops, I mean, sorry for all the caps. It's the Kanye West in me. According to TMZ, Kanye was arrested at LAX today for excessive CAPS use. No, he was arrested for wearing that outfit. No, he was really arrested for felony vandalism.

While at the American Airlines terminal (he doesn't have a private jet?), a pap started taking pictures of him. Kanye wasn't feeling very photogenic, so he snatched the pap's camera and smashed it on the ground.

TMZ started filming it with their own video camera when Kanye's assistant tried to stop them. The camera dude and Kanye's assistant started fighting over it. The assistant won and he threw the camera to the ground, breaking it. Kanye then tried to get the tape from TMZ's guy.

Kanye and his assistant are currently being booked.

Oh....shit! I can't wait for the epic blog posts from Kanye to follow. You better stand back when Kanye starts blogging, because his angry ass words will probably smash your screen to bits. I'm afraid his poor MacBook Air might not survive. It's already entered into the witness protection program. It knows what's coming.