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International supermodel and luxury headband designer Phoebe Price will grace the Emmys this Sunday in hopes of adding a lot more chicken cutlet glamour to the show. The Emmy whores should be on their knees kissing her freckled feet, because she's doing them a favor. PP is a major motion picture actress who shouldn't be fraternizing with TV folk.

Besides, who's going to pose on Robertson Blvd. this Sunday while PP is busy being the hottest seat warmer in the business at the Emmys? Robertson is going to be filled with a whole lot of lonely without Chicken Cutlets.

Yesterday, PP visited one of the Emmy swag suites to pick up a bunch of free shit to sell on eBay. That's how she pays her rent. I'm fucking lying! She probably doesn't even keep that shit. Every month, PP and the elegant Shauna Sand travel to a third-world country to donate their free swag. I bet you Saint Angelina doesn't even do that!

While picking up luxurious items like chewing gum and hair dryers, PP stopped to talk with the Associated Press. Yes, the Associated Press. She said: "I always like seeing the latest stuff. I get inspired to see what different designers have to offer." PP is truly a creative soul. Only a true artiste could be inspired by chewing gum.

She also said her Emmy dress is "very provocative"and will "cause quite a stir." What does that mean?! If she wears nothing but BBQ sauce and boiled chicken skins, I will faint into a pile of cutlets.

Here's some pictures of PP posing with more inanimate objects at Melanie Siegel's Emmy House. I also threw in some pictures of Chicken Cutlets looking like an extra from "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" while doing a cartwheel in some random parking lot.

According to People, Natalie Cole has been laid up in a hospital in NYC since last Friday. Natalie's rep said: "She was doing press in New York last week when she got really sick due to chemotherapy she was undergoing to treat her hepatitis."

Natalie was diagnosed with hep C this past April. The docs think she got it over 25 years ago from her heroin use.

Natalie's rep also said that she will go back to Los Angeles in the next few days where she will be on bed rest for an entire month. All of her October appearances have been postponed.

Homegirl should stay in bed and enjoy some hospital Jello. I don't know why, but I fucking love hospital Jello. Most people think it tastes like watered down Kool-Aid piss, but I love that crap.

In addition to eating plenty of hospital Jello, she should also watch Milo & Otis at least twelve times. I know, I've been on a major Milo & Otis kick recently. That movie is the meaning of life. Below is a clip of Milo & Otis scenes set to a Soul Asylum song. HA! Milo & Otis' love for each other makes me want to give birth to dozens of puppies and kittens, so that they can all be friends.

Gus Van Zant directed James Franco in that new "Milk" movie and he also interviewed him for Interview Magazine (via Radar Online). During their conversation, cover girl Zac Efron's name came up. Gus offered him the small role of "pizza guy" in "Milk." And by "pizza guy" he means "Pass Around Pam." Anygay, James talks about how he met Zac at the VMAS. I bet you James had a boner while he was telling the story.

JF: So then when I saw him at the MTV Movie Awards, I was like, "Hey man Good to meet you, Zac. I really like the movie, and I just worked with Gus, and he tried to get you in the movie." And Zac was like, "Yeah, yeah. It just didn't work out." And I was like, "Well you should really do a movie with Gus. I think it would be a good contrast to your other stuff." He's like, "Yeah, maybe." And then I was walking away to go back to my seat, and he tapped me on the shoulder and said, "We should do it together, man." And he, like, gave me a high five. He was really the nicest guy.

GVS: Yeah. He is really nice. We should all do a Judd Apatow movie. You and Zac and me.

JF: Yeah. You should do a movie that Judd produces, and we'll do it with Zac. What do you think?

GVS: Keep your eyes open for it.

JF: What kind of movie do you think it could be?

GVS: I'll have to think about that one.

JF: IF you have an idea and it's like me and Zac playing basketball or delivering pizzas or whatever, I'm in.

They totally want to lick each other's peens. I mean, they high-fived! They might as well have sucked each other's assholes right there in front of everyone. I would've been okay with this as long as they taped it and then immediately uploaded it to the internet.

James and Zac as basketball playing pizza delivery guys? Um....two words immediately come to mind: GAY PORN. Since Judd Apatow is involved, here's a few titles they can choose from:

Step Brothers Who Do Each Other
The 40 Year Old Butt Virgin
Peen In Asshole Express

VIA Gawker

The big-tittied frog performed at a benefit for the Rape Crisis Center at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas last night and what did she choose to talk about? Farts and Tony Romo! Of course. They're two of the kind.

Jessica said to People: "Tony is a great quarterback, but he's a better boyfriend. I'm seriously proud of myself for letting him into my life. Through all the chaos and torment and everything I go through, I can lay in his arms and finally rest."

Yes, please rest there forever. For-EVER. Don't move. Just stay there. Don't ever get up. No. I'll bring you water and flies. And you should be proud of yourself, Jessica. Reward yourself by staying in Tony's arms forever and ever. Honestly. That means you can't get up. Ever. I'm serious.

Jessica also went on to talk about how much Tony puts up. "I toot under the sheets, I spend a lot of money and I can belch the ABC's." Dutch ovens from Jessica? Ugh. I'm not feeling so well.

This isn't the first time Jessica has talked about her wind blower asshole. It makes sense that Jessica suffers from chronic fart syndrome. She's full of shit and air. Her asshole should probably sing her songs. I'm sure it can blow better than she can.

Here's Jessica wearing one of Marilyn Whirlwind's old ones while making a microphone cry last night.

This is going to be your drunk ass this weekend. Hopefully, me too.

Kate Moss is totally trying to keep the vom from coming up. She's closing her eyes and concentrating, but something tells me Allegra Versace was covered in cokey barf by the end of that car ride. Kate needs to take lessons from this one chick I got drunk with once. This ho barfed into a Corona bottle perfectly. She didn't spill one drop. And then she just threw it into the trash can and said, "Let's do a shot!" That takes major skill. She should go on "America's Got Talent."

Here's Kate being a wasted mess while leaving her third party of the night in London. Why is Kate partying with Kimbo Stewart? Really, Kate? Does Kimbo have the good shit or something? Kate must have been torn up as fuck to be hanging out with Kimbo.

This morning, 107.5 The River in Nashville, TN played a short piece of Brit Brit's first single "Womanizer" off of her new album due this December. The full single comes out this Monday. Yeah, you're ass is dripping with anticipation. Well, it's probably dripping for different reasons too.

The song pretty much sounds like every other Brit song. Take all her songs, put them in a blender, pour in a little Frapp dust, hit pulse and then sprinkle some Cheeto bits on top. Voila! You've got a big cup of "Womanizer." Or "Woominizin'" as Brit Brit calls it.

Click here to listen to it

VIA UsWeekly

Show us your nuts! Baseball dudes in Hooters uniforms - Towleroad

Hilary Duff in lethah - Hollywood Tuna

Katherine Heigl is a quitter - Just Jared

Did Denise Richards lie about her show being renewed? Irv, tell us the truth! - Lainey Gossip

Another day, another Mischa Barton nip slip - Egotastic!

Janet Jackson dry humping a dude on stage (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Metrocard Origami - Cityrag

The Dragon Tale Twins go on a yacht - Popsugar

Parasite Hilton is delusional, thinks she's running a major corporation - Hollywood Rag

Jessica Simpson is a sloppy drunk - IDLYITW

Tater Head has gone the way of the ginge. She looks like a delicious plate of sweet potatoes. All she's missing is a couple of handfuls of mini-marshmallows, 10 sticks of butter, a cup of brown sugar and she's good to go.

Here she is at a Teen Vogue party in Los Angeles last night.

This week I've been ranting and raving about dog caca, so it seems only appropriate that we end the week with these beautiful pictures of Doody....I mean....Diddy stepping into a pile of pooch poo in NYC yesterday. It couldn't have happened to a bigger douche. He probably screamed at that dog shit for not watching where it's going. It's going to hear from his lawyers.

The bodyguard knows what's coming and you can tell he's deciding whether or not he wants to scream "I quit this bitch," or if he wants to get on his knees and actually clean that shit up.

Diddy stepping in a pile of butt nuggets is not sexy, but it's definitely fucking funny.

Ryan O'Neal's lawyer tells People that the meth found in his Malibu home does not belong to him. In case you were in a meth hole yourself, Ryan and his son were arrested on Wednesday after cops found meth in their house.

Ryan's lawyer said: "Those were not Ryan's drugs, he doesn't use drugs, and has nothing to do with them. It's a dangerous assumption for deputies to have arrested Ryan just because he was in proximity to the drugs. This situation is very upsetting to Ryan because he's just trying to lead his life quietly. I have full confidence that Ryan will be vindicated."

He wouldn't say how the meth got into Ryan's bedroom, but it's obvious that he's going to blame that shit on his meth-faced son.

It's also obvious that Ryan is a fan of "Cops." "It's not mine" has always been my favorite explanation from a crackhead on the show. The bitch could have a bag of heroin hanging out of their asshole and they would still say "I don't know how that got there! I did use a public bathroom earlier. Maybe I sat on it!"

Instead of blaming his son, Ryan should just say the evil drug trolls broke into his house and planted that shit. Wait. Was Mary-Kate Olsen in Malibu recently?

Here's a few pictures of Farrah Fawcett and REDmond O'Neal outside of Ryan's house the other day. A source told People that Farrah was sleeping in the house when Ryan and her son were arrested. So Jill Munroe was sleeping in a drug den?! What is Charlie going to say about this?