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JHud is engaged to Punk from "I Love New York," because her vagina just can't say no. When I first heard the news, I figured Punk must have a 12-inch dick and he tied the engagement ring to it when he asked her to marry him. That's the only way I would have said yes to a dude who has probably had New York's nutsack in his mouth. See a big dick and the word "YES" just comes pouring out.

Well, that's not how it happened. JHud said: "I had no clue at all... We went to the beach during the day and he blindfolded me... and he gave me a purple shovel, because purple's my favourite colour... and I had to dig. I ended up digging through all this sand. When I found it, it was like a bunch of beautiful cards... one related to the other, and the last one said, 'Look around, take the moment in, turn around and I have a gift for you."

Does anybody see the irony in this? She's basically digging her own fucking grave. That's a sign right there. If that bitch handed me a shovel and told me to dig, I would've dug that shit right into his ass. And you know he paid for that ring with her AMEX.

Here's JHud looking like she escaped from the methadone clinic in NYC last night.

Tommy Girl is always holding on to Stepford Katie like she's David Beckham's erect peen. She's not a mindless, frail old hag who has no idea where she's going.... Oh, wait. I mean, it's not like the little robot is going to run away anytime soon. I gave up on that shit a long ass time ago. She's already been brainwashed to the point no return. Hopefully, all those alien drugs she's been fed making her feel like she's walking on sunshine.

Anylittlehomoman, Tommy Girl put on his shiniest blazer from the big boys section at Brooks Brothers to take his raggedy beard to dinner in NYC last night.

When JLo pulls out her "sexy and intense" face, she ends up looking like she's holding the biggest queef in history. A coochie bubble so big that her ass cheeks and vagina lips have to work together to keep it in. JLo has to open up her mouth just a bit to release a little pressure. Of course, that's just what her face looks like when she tries to look all lusty and shit. We all know that JLo doesn't fart or queef. Gas from her body is released when she fucking talks.

JLo was at Macy's in NYC today to whore out her cologne for men which I'm sure will only be loved by guidos and their admirers. And it's obvious that she must have pissed off her hair gay and her make-up bitch today.

Birthday: 1986
Age: 22
Birth Name: Darrell Walls

Original Date of HS of the Day: September 25, 2008
Claim to Fame: The first tranny to compete on "America's Next Top Model" after being personally asked by Ty Ty Banks. Of course, Ty Ty is taking all the credit!

Where is she now? Spoiler alert! Isis was sent back to the trans factory by Ty Ty last week. Cruel!

Why is it HS of the Week? Because she sort of reminds me of my favorite basement baby Solange. Also, it wasn't Isis' time to go on ANTM. She was never going to win this shit, but I wanted her to stick around to get revenge on that dumb bitch Hannah!

Kendra Wilkinson flashes her titties for the one or two people out there that haven't seen them yet - Hollywood Tuna

Rachel Bilson's copy cat fashion line - Lainey Gossip

Heath Ledger's estate goes entirely to his daughter - Popsugar

Sean Penn bragged to Vadge about his first gay kiss - Towleroad

Parasite Hilton as the Valtrex fairy - Just Jared

Ceiling Eyes is back in a bikini - Egotastic!

The Dallas Cowboys lost again and it's all Chestica's fault - IDLYITW

Brangelina adoption rumors, take 2,459 - Hollywood Rag

Amanda Woodward's arrest as told through pictures - Cityrag

RiRi dresses up for Colonel Sanders (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

It was already known that Russell Crowe's voluptuous ass would play the Sheriff in Ridley Scott's "Nottingham," but now he's also playing Robin Hood. Ridley said that Russell would play both roles, but he wouldn't comment any further. He only said that Russell as Robin Hood and the Sheriff would be “a good old clever adjustment of characters. One becomes the other. It changes.” Sybil for the Middle Ages!

Ridley also confirmed that shameless slut Sienna Miller is playing Maid Marian. Russell's wife better lock his dick up and pour a little holy water on it to keep it safe from Sienna.

Ridley and Russell should take this concept a step further. Russell should play all the roles. He definitely has the belly of wonder needed to play Friar Tuck. He also has the huge titties for Maid Marian. And Russell likes to sing, so he can easily cover Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)." Win!

Travis Barker has been released from the Doctors Hospital in Augusta, GA and is on his way back to Los Angeles. His rep issued this statement to People: "Travis is doing great and was discharged this morning. He has left Augusta."

Travis and DJ AM were both admitted into the Joseph M. Still Burn Center nine days ago after a plane crash in South Carolina took the lives of 4 people. Travis suffered second and third degree burns to his torso and lower body.

DJ AM was released from the hospital this past Friday.

Aubrey O'Day's dog Ginger must have been one evil bitch in a past life to get stuck with this raggedy tramp. Animal cruelty never looked so skanky. Poor Ginger. I can see the diseases gleefully jumping from Aubrey's ass thermometer to Ginger's little tongue. If Aubrey wanted to make out with Ginger, she could have at least put a dental dam over her mouth and spared the animal from her germs.

Here's more of Aubrey in a towel doing illegal and intimate things with her dog at a Sheiki Jeans in San Diego, CA. In the last thumbnail, it looks like Ginger is trying to hide the tears.

Fashion designer Kris Van Assche showed his new collection in Paris the other day and you would never ever guess what his inspiration was. His collection was loosely (very loosely) inspired by gorgeous cholita beauties! The hell?! Kris included teardrop tattoos, tank tops and boxer shorts which he said was influenced by cholitas. I'm sorry, but I don't even get the slightest whiff of a Sharpie in any of these pictures.

Homeboy and I need to take a trip down to Echo Park, CA, so that we can hang with my cousins and he can see what real cholita glamour is. Where's the white wife beater, the hickeys on the cheek and neck, the oversized Dickeys and the nameplate necklace? I see none of that! He could have at least added a "Smile Now, Cry Later" t-shirt. Something! The eyebrows aren't even right. I give him a couple of dildo slaps for trying, but it's not quite there.

Kris, please watch this clip from one of the greatest movies ever made "Mi Vida Loca" and then try again.

Visit Style.com to see more pictures from Kris' Spring '09 collection.

I'm talking about your fucking heels! Where are they? Her heels must be overworked, because she gave them the day off this past Friday in NYC. Posh Beckham wore these $6,000 Antonio Berardi PVC boots while hawking her fragrance with Becks at Macy's. $6k and they don't even have heels?! Bitch got ripped off!

These things make her look even more like a praying mantis alien. These boots are not made for walking, but they are made for gliding along the craters of Mars.