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MSN got a hold of this video of our Lady of Cheetos shaking her fried ham hocks and whipping her seaweed weave around during a rehearsal for something. It could be for the VMAs, it could be for a concert or it could be for the opening of a Chik-Fil-A. Who knows. She actually looks like she gives two Frapps.

Just in case she is performing at the VMAs this Sunday, we should all make this Cheeto recipe in her honor. I know I've posted Cheeto recipes in the past, but this one is extra special! It will probably make your asshole explode and melt your toilet, but it will be worth it. Click here to get the recipe for Flaming Hot Cheeto Loaf.

Thanks Julie

If Mimi took off those enormous fucking glasses she could probably walk her own unicornie-loving-ass to the car instead of having her man-toy guide the way. He's always holding on to Hello Kitty's #1 fan like she's going to blow away! Although, Nick Cannon is one smart bitch to keep a tight grip on her. When you find a big bag of money, you should never let it out of your sight. Do you hear that, Sarah Larson? I mean, if Jack in "Titanic" was rich as fuck, Rose would have never let go of his hand. Never.

Here's Nick and the rainbow princess out in NYC last night.

It's been a long ass time since I've seen Squinty Zellweger's signature squint out in full force like this. It makes my eyeballs twitch and my mouth crave salty lemons. Nobody squints the way she can! Liza Garza tries, but her squint can't hold a candle to Squinty's squint. Squint!

Squinty was at the Toronto International Film Festival today promoting some movie called "Appaloosa" with a bunch of pepaws. Squinty was asked what it was like filming in New Mexico and she responded, "The tacos are great!" This made Ed Harris and Viggo Mortensen laugh for some reason. That's an inside joke, right? Squinty totally went lesbionic in New Mexico.

Here's more of Squinty with Ed, Viggo and Jeremy Irons. Damn. I guess it's true. People do get old.

Artist Noel Cruz has created several Angelina Jolie dolls that he sells on eBay. One Saint Angie doll sold for $3,350.00 in June. Something tells me that the Brangaloonie who bought it sold one of their kids on the black market to pay for it.

The Angie doll is pretty realistic and creepy. I think the doll's arms are still fatter than Angie's real arms. Unfortunately, Noel forgot to attach a halo over her head. r.

Noel has also made based on Daniel Craig, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp and many others. Visit his website to see them. He also takes commissions. Sorry Brangaloonies, he won't make a Saint Angie "real doll" for you. Don't even ask. I can't wait to save enough pennies to ask him to make me dolls of the Empress of Lucite, Chicken Cutlets and Rojo Caliente. Who needs real friends when you have lifelike dolls to talk to all day and night? And yes, I skipped my meds again this morning.

VIA ONTD

"Christian the Lion," the YouTube video that made many cold-hard bitches melt into a puddle of tears at their desks, is coming to a movie theater near you! The video tells the story of two groovy gays who bought a lion from Harrod's in London in 1969. The gays raised Christian, but he became too big, so they had no choice but to release him into the wild. A year later, they reunite with him in Africa. They all hug and kiss while Whitney Houston belts in the background. Personally, I was waiting for Christian to eat one of their asses.

Sony Pictures is currently in negotations to buy the rights to the dudes' 1972 book "A Lion Called Christian." Sharon Stone's cougar vagina is an obvious choice to play young Christian. Jocelyn Wildenstein can play older Christian. Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari can reunite to play the groovy gays.

Now if Sony can just buy the rights to Spaghetti Cat's life story, they'll have two animal hit movies on their hands.

Source VIA Gawker

Tara Reid is looking ni-ni-nic....No, I can't do it. She still looks fug. There, that felt better - Egotastic!

Prince Hot Ginge out with his trick - Lainey Gossip

Xtina working the streets like a true tranny prostitute(site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Tila Tequila titty balls are almost bigger than her own head - Hollywood Tuna

Katy Perry is going to hell - Towleroad

Robert Downey Jr. beating down a barrel of sake - Just Jared

Goodbye, Astroland - Cityrag

Hayden Panatroll will be single soon - IDLYITW

Gwen Stefani is back to her old self - Popsugar

Ty Ty Banks is the top-earning woman on primetime TV. Why haven't I heard her shouting it from the rooftops yet? - Hollywood Rag

Lily Allen and Elton John had a little kitten fight (clip above) at the GQ Awards in London the other night. The fight looks about as real as Elton's hair. Lily still felt the need to defend herself on MySpace. She said she's very good friends with Elton and the media is just raining on her champagne parade. Here's some of the shit she wrote.

Hi , now it's all died down i'm saying my side of what I can't believe is considered to be a story. Elton john and I are friends. I was honoured when Elton asked me to present the GQ awards with him this year in association with Elton's AIDS foundation. Not only was it for a good cause but who would say no to Elton.

I'm not defending my drunkeness because i don't need to, i'm 23 it was an awards ceremony i drank the free champagne, how awful of me. Trying to create a feud on the other hand, and trying to make me out as being some rude little girl with a drink problem is just unfair, Elton and I exchanged jokes and there were no hard feelings at all, infact neither of us gave it a second thought. It's sad that an evening enjoyed by all had to ruined by some bitter journos again.This isn't meant to be a place for me to respond to journalists, but I am very grateful I have this page, if i didn't then i would have absolutely no voice when it comes to this stuff.

All these showbiz journalists are just bullies when it comes down to it. I have felt really very bullied this week.I realise that when i first started this job I slagged a few people off when I probably shouldn't have and I have been opinionated about some things, but i haven't said a bad word about anyone for a long time, even when I have wanted to, even when people have tried to start feuds and said horrible things about me when they'd never even met me, when they'd based an opinion on me because of something they'd read. It's hurtful, but it's fine if you want to print a picture of me and say how awful I look, how much weight i've put on or how terrible my choice of clothes were that day. In my opinion it's still a form of bullying and if anyone spoke to any of my friends like that to their faces i'd want to kill them. But character assasination is another thing it's just not needed.

She ends her post by telling all the photographers outside her house to "fuck off," because she's not coming out anytime soon. That's her hangover typing. Yes, she's 23 and can drink as much as she wants, but the bitch was doing a job. If I showed up wasted to my job every morn ------ bad example. The point is she needs to stop moaning, because she's starting to sound like a bitter, constipated grouch. Basically, she's sounding like me and that's not a compliment.

Lily, have another glass of champagne, but mix it with peach juice this time. That shit will sweeten you up and make you smile.

Most of us have seen HoHan's bare chichis and even her frownin' snatch. And I'm sure there's even some of you that can accurately draw her a-hole from memory. HoHan knows this and that's why she's decided to spare us from seeing more of her nakedness. Page Six reports that once again she's turned down a $700,000 offer to pose completely nekkid for Playboy's 55th Anniversary issue.

Playboy's creative consultant said he had hoped to pay tribute to Ann Margaret in "Kitten with a Whip," which happens to be one of HoHan's favorite movies. Playboy will have to find another pussy, because HoHan isn't doing it. Her rep said: "If there's nudity, then the answer's no . . . She's not going down the [New York] magazine road again."

I'm shocked White Oprah allowed her to turn down $700k. After HoHan nixed the offer, White Oprah probably knocked on Hef's door and presented him with Ali Lohan holding a fake ID.

Below is HoHan on the set of "Ugly Betty" with SamRo last night. SamRo is smoking a fag! Smoking a fag! Just thought I'd point that out.

Thanks to reader Daisy who pointed out to me that Cindy McCain sort of looks like my favorite actress Shane Ross. Shane is best known for her thrilling portrayal of Marie (aka snobby salesperson #2) in "Pretty Woman."

If I ever run into Cindy in the back alley of a pharmacy, I'm going to ask her if she's got any Percocet on her. Then I'm going to ask her if she knows a good cookie recipe. Finally, I'm going to ask her how much her outfit costs. You know she would look at me with those steel eyes and respond: "It's verrrrry expensive." And she wouldn't be lying.

Reader Jessica thinks Cindy looks more like April from "Big Brother 10." You be the judge and jury.