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Your answer has to be yes. Who would turn down a peen ride from Edward Lewis/Zack Mayo/Jack Sommersby? It's sad, but Sommersby is one of my top 10 favorite suck shows of all time. Jodie Foster and Richard Gere as fucking lovers! All the gerbils in the land rolled their eyes when that shit came out.

Who cares if Richard looks like the boozy pepaw who fell off the ladder while painting my mother's house! I'd dress up in a gerbil costume and run in a damn wheel for hours if that's what turned his sick ass on. Gerbilling!

Here's Richard Gere in a sexy farmer tan participating in a little foreplay action with some slutty wave while vacationing with his family in St. Barts.

Kristin Billie Davis is the ho that I briefly fell in love with during that whole Spitzer drama. She sold top shelf poon through her Wicked Models escort service. Spitz was one of her clients. Kristin pleaded guilty to selling whores back in October. While she's waiting to be sentenced, 32-year-old (cough, HACK, choke) Kristin shared her pro-ho skills with Steppin' Out Magazine (via Gawker) by saying how much Brit Brit, Sarah Palin, Wonky McValtrex and others would make if they sold their ass for her.

It's hard for me to listen to a creature who looks like she hasn't been exposed to natural light since the early 90s for fear that the sun might turn her into a puddle of silicone.

Kristin's assessment is totally WTF-ish. This dumb whore makes no sense. I mean, she says Katie Holmes could make up to $3,000 an hour, because she has that "girl next door" look. Yeah, if you live next to a methadone clinic for snails. Has this plastic moron seen Katie Holmes lately?! Kristin also thinks Brit Brit's chitterling pie could sell for about a grand. And if she didn't lose her brains, she could get $2,000.

I don't know why Wonky McValtrex is even included. That bitch is already handing out her broke down snatch for the bargain basement price of $0. The dumb fucks who hit that shit are the ones who pay the price by receiving a standing appointment to the free clinic.

I wish they would've asked her how much The Empress of Lucite would cost for an hour of fucky times. Kristin's Tupperware tittays (that's what she thinks with) would have exploded from trying to put a price on Shauna Sand's priceless lucite flower.

Kristin's entire list with her comments is after the jump. Warning. You might be offended and your outer (or inner) vagina will probably weep over this fuckery. JUMP!!!!

I was a little worried when my arch rival CHERYL BURKE and that steaming cup of hot douche water Maksim Chmerkovskiy were pictured holding hands last September. I became a little more worried when Maksim called CHERYL BURKE a fat mop, because that's something douchebags in love say about the object of their affection. I am pleased to announce that Maksim is promised to be married and it's not to Mop Head. It's to Mario Lopez's former beard: Karina Smirnoff Ice.

E! News says that 28-year-old Maksim asked 30-year-old Smirnoff Ice to be his on New Year's Eve. They apparently became loooovers while traveling together on the Dancing with the Has-Beens tour. They are both from Ukraine, so I'm hoping their wedding will be filled with gold, white feathers and rhinestones. Naturally.

I sort of knew they were humping on each other's fake-tanned asses, but this whole "getting married" thing is a little surprising. The thought probably popped into Maksim's pretty little head all of a sudden. He immediately bopped Smirnoff Ice over the head with his club, dragged her to his cave which is covered in pictures of himself (you know it is) and said to her, "You be my wife." If I was to ever get engaged, that's how I want it to go down.

And Karina should get her nose rotated again before the wedding. Her nose is starting to look like a lizard's head and that's not pretty.

Margaret Farquhar from The Wonder Years (as played by Lindsay Fisher) - Yesterday was Winnie Cooper's birthday and this got me thinking about the hot bitches of The Wonder Years which eventually led my memory to Margaret Farquhar. She was the school weirdo who really wanted to become Kevin's friend, but he couldn't handle her glamour, so tried to keep away from her. In the end, like always, Kevin learned a valuable lesson or something. Margaret Farquhar most likely moved to Paris and became a world famous couture model. Kevin missed out.

Click here to see one of Margaret's episodes.

Vanity (50) (You must check out her hot website if you haven't yet!)
Erin Cahill (29)
James Longley (37)
Julia Ormond (44)
Dave Foley (46)
Till Lindemann (46)
Patrick Cassidy (47)
Michael Stipe (49)
Julian Sands (51)
Patty Loveless (52)
Tina Knowles (55)
Dyan Cannon (72)