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The city of DC was the luckiest city in the world today for many reasons, and one of them is because Rojo Caliente and Mrs. Rojo (government name: Cynthia Nixon) were there for the National Equality March. If you are in the DC and wondering why your skin has the tingles, that is why!

At the march today, Mrs. Rojo spoke and I listened up until my ears went raw. Anyone who wakes up next to Rojo Caliente every morning, must speak the truth of truths! I co-sign every last statement twice.

And I think Mrs. Rojo said something about how she can't wait for the day she throws crumbled-up Mother's Circus Animal Cookies at the wedding of Anderson "Mah Boo" Cooper and yours truly. If you didn't hear that, it's probably because you don't have wads of delusion stuck in your ear holes like I do.

Lady GaGa (I'm being nice today) also spoke. You know how I feel about her ass, but I like this....even the Judy Garland joke. I give credit where credit is due (doo)! Yesh, I'm sippin' that shit today.

However, I will say her wig is very Kim Zolciak-ish. That wig should be ABSENT from the party.

Tommy Girl had the day off from shooting that movie yesterday, so he took his family out to Cambridge, MA for a little fun in the sun. And by "sun," I mean the flash bulbs from the paparazzi cameras. Seriously, they even put Suri on display in the window of a cupcake shop. Not so subtle.

But Suri proved once again that she's the most talented one in that family. Suri goes from making a "What in Xenu hell are you looking at?" face to a "Hey Girl Hey" face to a "Please Take Me Home!" face to a "I iz eating that cupcake with my eyes (Ode to Stains)" face. TALENT!

And I think I'm on the Suri Diet without even knowing it. I mean, just like Suri, all I eat is cupcakes and ice cream. Sure, I don't drink barley water, but I do get for THIRSTAY for beer. Barley water is just like beer but without the fun.

Every Halloween, bitches of all ages and sizes stuff their asses into fishnets to walk the streets looking like they will suck every last dollar out of you. But why should humans be the only ones doing ho shit on October 31st? Let's drags our pets down the slut road too! Pimps up, dogs down!

Consumerist pointed my ass to a few sites selling "sexy dog Halloween costumes" and matching whore outfits for you too! You can dress your dog up as a "Sexy Alice in Wonderland Scarecrow" (whatever the dick that is) or as a "naughty French maid." Blame Paris Hilton.

I'm going to save my coins, because my dog already walks around like a big skankity skank skank. I mean, he struts the streets totally nekkid and that's about as whorey as you can get.

Yesterday, a rumor went around the internets that Amy Wino prodded and pumped up her tittays from a 32B to a 32D. Well, here's Wino arriving at THE CLINIC (DUN DUN DUN) last night, and I don't have Dr. 90210 by my side so I'm not sure if the rumors are true. I mean, they look like a little more chichilicious, but she could've just hid a few 8-balls in there. Or maybe she finally ate something that didn't come from a glass pipe and it went straight to her boobies?

And I think we all need to go to church this morning after discussing Wino's titties in depth. You bring the rosaries, I'll bring the hooch!

Last night, Wino sang back-up to her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield on Strictly Come Dancing. Most are saying that Wino looked drunker than a Hasselhoff and was a complete wreck, because she didn't know the moves. For me, if Wino isn't stumbling around like Tommy Girl after a butt orgy, I'm a little concerned. I mean, this IS Wino we're talking about. Besides, she didn't bite anyone's cheek off or burn anyone's skin off with her toxic loogies. That's an achievement for Wino. Performance beeeeelow:

Stephen Gately of the Irish boy band Boyzone was found dead yesterday while on vacation in Majorca, Spain with his husband Andrew Cowles. Stephen was only 33.

There aren't many details about Stephen's death since the police are still conducting an investigation. The police said there were no signs of violence. One of Stephen's told The News of the World (I know) that he went out for a few drinks, came back to his house, fell asleep and never woke up.

The members of Boyzone are now on their way to Spain. The group's Louis Walsh said this:

"We're all absolutely devastated. I'm in complete shock. I was only with him on Monday at an awards ceremony. We don't know much about what's happened yet. I only heard after The X Factor and we will rally around each other this week. He was a great man."

Stephen, who was working on his first children's novel at the time of his death, is survived by his husband Andrew.

Source: The Associated Press

Rika Urban, the first ever Miss Plastic Hungary - On Friday night in Hungary, the first annual beauty pageant for ladies with tweaked noses, pulled mugs, rotated toes (yeah, really) and counterfeit chichis was held. Each contestant had to be over the age of 18 and prove that they've had at least one plastic surgery operation. Fun fact: If you add up all of the silicone, botox, collagen, motor oil and liquid nails found in all of the contestants, it still isn't half of what is in Jocelyn Wildenstein's beautiful face.

Anyway, 22-year-old Rika Urban took the title winning an apartment in Budapest and what looks like a topiary tree bought at Michael's. Rika also got to sit on a throne made of old breast implants and liposuctioned fat! Lucky ho. Rika's plastic surgeon also won some kind of award.

(For Kevin)

Luke Perry (44)
Michelle Trachtenberg (24)
Emily Deschanel (33)
MC Lyte (38)
Constance Zimmer (39)
Stephen Moyer (40)
Jane Krakowski (41)
Artie Lange (42)
Sean Patrick Flannery (44)
Joan Cusack (47)
Dawn French (52)
Stephen Spinella (53)
David Morse (56)
Elmore Leonard (84)