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Morrissey is in the hospital after he collapsed during one of his shows in Swindon tonight. Witnesses say that Morrissey wasn't looking too hot when he first took the stage. After he performed his first song "This Charming Man," he dropped to the ground and was carried off by medical personnel. A little while later, the audience was told that Morrissey had "left the building." When their asses started booing, the announcer added that Morrissey "was very ill."

The Telegraph reports that the paramedics were told that a 50-year-old man was having trouble breathing and was unconscious When they arrived, Morrissey was conscious but not feeling well. He was immediately taken to the hospital.

A rep for the hospital issued this statement: "Morrissey has been admitted to the Great Western Hospital. He is being reviewed by the medical staff and his condition is stable."

Morrissey is currently in the middle of a world tour. He already canceled several dates due to illness.

My gotholita (gotha + cholita) cousin's sanity depends on Morrissey's health, so hopefully he's going to bounce right out of that hospital very soon. Morrissey just needs to put the work on pause, and lay down with some Sleepytime Tea and a movie starring talking animals.

Lately it seems that some of the paparazzi are getting a little excited and running into celebrities' cars. It happened to Nicole Richie, the Jackson kids and now Billy Goat Brad Pitt. TMZ says that Brad was on his motorcycle and stopped at a red light when a pap's car decided it wanted to do butt sex with him. Brad's bike wasn't feeling it, so it hit the car in front of it and then fell over taking Brad with it. In non-gutter talk, a pap rear-ended Brad's bike causing him to hit the car in front of him before he fell over.

Brad got up, dusted himself off, pulled his bike up and then ran into a nearby apartment building where he called someone to pick him up. Seconds later, the child army (led by Maddox) parachuted in, grabbed Brad and then busted out of there while action music played in the background. No, one of Brad's slaves showed up, and took him home.

Don't worry, not even one pubic hair on his chin muff was harmed.

UPDATE: TMZ is now saying that nobody else was involved in the lil' accident. A pap's car didn't do anal with Brad's bike. According to some witness, Brad tried to get between a parked car and a car stopped at a ride light. As he was trying to get by, his handlebars clipped the car and he lost control. Before he knew it, he was on the ground with his bike. His body isn't bruised, but his ego is. You know when St. Angie heard about this shit, she queefed, "Fucking amateur."

The Empress of Lucite is pure of heart so she doesn't notice her so-called friend attacking her with a vicious side-eye. Shauna's friend obviously doesn't know that throwing a shank eye towards the Patron Saint of Elegance has serious consequences. Not only will a pair of exquisite lucite heels refuse to ever touch your feet, but there's a good chance your eyes will stay that way. Imagine having a permanent case of side-eye?! You wouldn't ever be able to look at a peen while you're sucking on it. That would be terrible.

Here's Shauna gliding through the streets of Hollywood last night. Fun fact: Shauna's necklace was brought to her by the angels who told her it was a gift from Coco Chanel herself. When Coco first laid eyes upon Shauna, she was so touched by her beauty that she cried a million tears which created this necklace. Truth!

Bradley Cooper and his beard-in-waiting swished through Vancouver Airport yesterday, and check out his fancy luggage. THAT FANCY MAN! While Squinty is lugging some crap she bought from the Land's End catalog, B. Coop brought the luxury.

Gay Al Reynold's is dripping glitter just from looking at that fancy luxurious elegant shit. Squinty is going to have to step it up if she wants to continue to escort B. Coop through airports. Squinty's luggage (and I mean that in several ways) is so not fancy enough for B. Coop.

The two were in Vancouver, because B. Coop was there shooting The A-Team movie. Here's the first official promo pic. From left to right is: B. Coop (as Lt. Peck), Quintin Jackson (as Baracus), Sharlto Copley (as Murdock) and Liam Neeson (as Hannibal)

There's not right-ish off about this picture. B. Coop should be carrying a Louis Vuitton rifle with a patent leather strap. Obviously.

This is just the saddest. Shiloh Pepin, who was born with a rare condition often called "mermaid syndrome," swam off to the big ocean in the sky yesterday afternoon. Shiloh was only 10 years-old.

The Associated Press says Shiloh checked into the Maine Medical Center last week and was hospitalized in critical condition.

Shiloh was born with both of her legs fused together. Shiloh had no colon or genital organs, and only one partially working kidney. Usually, children born with sirenomelia get their legs surgically separated, but Shiloh never did because blood vessels in her circulatory system would have been cut.

Shiloh appeared on Oprah just last month where she talked openly about her condition. Shiloh even threw Oprah a few "O, please" faces whenever she was asked some dumb questions. Those of you that have seen the documentaries about her on the Discovery know that she really loved life and didn't take any shit.

May Shiloh rest in peace.

Full House's Jodie Sweetin has a new book out called "Unsweetined" (I guess "How Rooood" was already taken), which chronicles her road from child star to crackhouse resident. To promote the book, Jodie spent a little time with UsWeekly to basically tell them all the weird places she got fucked up at. The interview reads like a food journal for junkies! Or like the average Dlisted reader's diary entry. This is what I'm talking about:

Jodie on getting the drunk barfs at Candace Cameron's wedding:
"I probably had two bottles of wine, and I was only 14. That first drink gave me the self confidence I had been searching for my whole life. But that set the pattern of the kind of drinking that I would do."

Jodie on driving drunk while her baby daughter was in the car:
"That was the big rock bottom. I had two glasses of wine and drove with her in the car. I not only put myself in danger, but also my daughter, who I loved more than anything. I felt terrible."

Jodie on claiming to be sober on GMA even though she was fucked up:
"I was selfish, self-serving, insecure, angry and fearful person living a double life. I covered up my problems by pretending to be happy and saying that everything was fine."

Jodie on doing meth in the bathroom at the premiere of the Olsen Troll's movie New York Minute:
"I was pulling off the deceit. It was hard for people to believe I was doing that much drugs. I look at photos from that event, and I didn't even look strung out!"

In Jodie's defense, anybody who sat through New York Minute wishes they had given themselves a meth-enema before they watched it. And I'm guessing Kirk Cameron was at Candace's wedding, so that explains why she swallowed 2 bottles of the sweet nectar. Yes, my real name is Michael "Enabler" Kay Kae.

Katie Price's boyfriend and Harvey's new punching bag, Alex Reid, not only loves the feeling of gold lame hugging his tucked dick, but there's been whispers that he also gets thirstay for Thai ladyboys every now and again. And now one of those ladyboys has skipped on over to The Sun to say how Alex became obsessed with her.

While Alex Reid was teaching martial arts in Thailand, he got apparently got phuky with a Phuket ladyboy named Kay Kae.

Kay Kae told The Sun that Alex knew she was born with a wang down below, but that didn't stop him from visiting her at the bar she worked at, "He didn't come and drink much because he was too serious about his training. But we'd meet late at the bar and then he'd take me back to the house he used at the camp. He liked me to talk dirty."

According to Kay Kae, Alex never paid her shit, and all they did was kiss and cuddle. Alex co-signed that claim: “We definitely did not have sex. It was all a big misunderstanding and a bit embarrassing.” This isn't as embarrassing as Alex wearing pantyhose with a gold leotard.

In related news, if I chopped my bits and went to Thailand to shake my ass for rent money, I'd go by the name "Kay Kae" too.

Spending time with my bong while watching Sandra Lee make recipes out of Rice-A-Roni packets and Steak-Ums is one of my favorite things to do. However, don't make that shit unless you want your guests to clog up your toilet with their own vomit or have you committed. This is why I'm throwing Sandra a "Have You Been Mixing Your Vodka With Lighter Fluid Again?" side-eye for saying that St. Angie made one of her recipes.

Sandra told People, "I was really surprised when her friend let me know she made my No Bake birthday cake. She's a Semi-Homemade mommy just like the rest of us! She's a very busy, overextended mother. I'm very proud not just that she made my cake but that someone of her stature isn't delegating these [tasks], like her children's birthday, to other people. I'm glad she loves the show and that the kids apparently also watch it too."

SANDRA STOP! Sandra probably had too many "Aqworium-tinis" when she was talking to her friend. Her friend actually said, "My friend Gina Jolly thinks you're working with a broken oven." And of course, drunk ass Sandra heard, "My friend Angelina Jolie makes your no bake cake." Besides, St. Angie uses her hands to heal the world, not to make birthday cakes. That's what the child army is for. They are all trained short order line cooks.

And no Sandra Lee post would be complete without another WTF-recipe from her. I can't:

Obviously, we all need to do peyote with Sandra so that we can try to see what she sees.

The Lady Elegance Hair Coloring Brush - Have you been using a regular old brush to dip into a bowl of dye before applying it to your hair (just nod your head yes)? Well, this is the product for you! All you have to do is fill the Lady Elegance Hair Coloring Brush with your choice of dye (or non-toxic paint bought on sale at Home Depot) and brush away to a NEW YOU! It has the word "elegance" in the title so you know it will make you look like the perfect picture of refinement! Or it'll make you look like a major asshole, because you'll have hair dye all over your face. Either or!

I love how the model chick doesn't even trust this shit enough to put on her real hair. If it's good enough to put on a broke down polyblend wig, it must be safe to use on your natural hair, right?

And now you know what to get Kate Gosselin for Possum Day!