Archives

On the last episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Big Poppa was the latest ho to butt fuck the sanctity of marriage by asking Kim Zolciak to be his wife. Big Poppa gave her a giant ring he probably bought in the twilight hours from QVC. Well, that shit didn't last and now Kim is Big Poppa-less again!

Since she's on the lookout for another sponsor to keep her eyelids decorated with the finest plastic tarantulas at The Dollar Tree, Kim had lunch with The Millionaire Matchmaker (aka Patti Stanger) at THE LOOK AT ME DINER in West Hollywood yesterday.

You know, Patti is really picky when it comes to the hair of a gold digger, so I wonder what she had to say about the Barbie cemetery on Kim's head.

By the way, if you take a loooong bong hit and squint your eyes, these two look like Rodney Dangerfield (rip) and Quentin Tarantino in drag.

That's because she's probably cold-calling like a telemarketer trying to get hos to donate to her situation. The Sun says that Courtney Love's checking account is pretty much at zero like her sanity levels.

Apparently, Courtney Love has been telling friends that she can barely feed her 17-year-old daughter Frances Bean and is about to get put out of The Mercer Hotel, because she's only got a few coins to her name. Some source said that Courtney told her friend, "I'm fucked now dude. I have 120 bucks, my kid hasn't had a decent meal and I'm getting evicted."

Last Month, Courtney tried to tap into Frances Bean's trust fund, but bitch got denied.

First of all, I wonder what Courtney's idea of a "decent meal" is? I'm guessing a pack of Reds, a few stale fries from McDonald's, half of a pack of relish and maybe a pistachio nut she found in her sofa.

Second of all, I'm sure Courtney isn't broke BROKE. I mean, maybe she lent some money to that Nigerian prince again and he's totally going to pay her back when he moves millions of his own money from his homeland. Or maybe Courtney just misplaced her money.........in her nostrils.

Court obviously needs Detective La Toya to grab a magnifying glass and track down her missing money. And if Det. La Toya can't do that, she can at least show Court how to whore it up for a quick dolla!

No, Billy Goat Brad and St. Angie have not adopted Brit Brit's Cheetolings. This is a picture of the TWIN MESSIAHS! Since you're already on your knees (I know how you multi-task), drop that penis and worship them!

The Twin Messiahs (citizen names: Knox and Vivienne) crawled off of their gold thrones yesterday to join their parents for some ice cream at Licky Licious in Amman, Jordan. The Brangie holy family are in the Middle East to visit with Iraqi refugees and discuss their situation with the president of Syria.

The person who took this picture said Brad nibbled on pecan and caramel ice cream, while St. Angie ate mango ice cream. A picture of St. Angie eating ice cream probably would have been even more shocking than seeing the twin messiahs out in public.

The twin messiahs really do look like they've got a tiny drop of Cheeto blood running through their veins, right? And thanks to that sentence, I have a feeling my inbox is about to get attacked by a Brangaloonie torpedo in 3...2............

Source: Twitter.com/onemri VIA HuffPo

Sean Penn might be in a little bit of trouble after he allegedly karate kicked and hit at a pap who tried to photograph his ass while he was leaving the Brentwood Country Mart yesterday. The pap who goes by the name of Jordan Dawes says that Sean, who looks like he was wearing a Jeff Spicoli wig at the time, went crazy on his ass a few times before getting in his car and busting out of the scene.

TMZ says that Jordan immediately filed a police report against Sean.

If you're a pap and Sean Penn comes around the corner, you better put on a helmet and pray for the power of Greyskull to be with you, because bitch don't play. Look at his old ass busting out a SPARTAAAA kick on that pap! The best part is that he's not letting anything happen to that bag of food he's holding. Sean must have spent time at the abuelita training camp, because memaws are masters when it comes to beating your ass with one hand while stirring a pot of food with the other.

And if the pap wanted to get Sean off of him, he should've just thrown a fake 8 ball or a rubber vagina at him. That'll keep Sean busy for a few quick seconds.

Yes, I'm with you on that headline, but it's Saturday morning, so I just can't! Anyway, here's Katy Perry doing the walk of pride (or shame) outside of Russell Brand's manwhore palace in London this morning. Usually The Center for Disease and Control is there to meet any chicks leaving Russell's house, but Katy must have called them to tell them she wore a full-body condom suit while she was there and marinated her hair in Listerine before she left so there was no need for them to stop by.

Kary and Russell reportedly just came back from having a good ole' fucking kinky sexy time in Thailand. Last night, they went to a party in London together.

I can't really blame Katy since I'd probably venture into Russell's crotch flea bush too even though I'd get a lecture from the free clinic afterwards. Wouldn't be the first time.

And IN THIS ECONOMY, at least Katy and Russell can share leggings....and panties?

Damn, this is just awful. If you watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta, then you are really familiar with Kandi's fiance, A.J. Jewell. A.J. died last night after he received a serious head injury during a fight at The Body Tap strip club in Atlanta. The police say they believe A.J. was involved in some kind of brawl in the club's parking lot and was hit in the head. A.J. was immediately taken to the hospital where he later died. The cops wouldn't talk about a motive, but said there's a "person of interest" in the case and they will question him about the incident.

Kandi posted a few messages on her Twitter last night: "I'm about to give my swollen eyes some rest now. I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their prayers. I gotta get up and go to my uncle's funeral. I could never in a million years imagine this happening. Please pray for AJ's children. That's who I'm the most concerned for. I'm just in one of those moods where i don't wanna talk, I don't wanna be held and told it's gonna be ok. I just wanna cry myself to sleep, alone."

A.J. leaves behind six children. Yes, six children. That's what makes this even more sad.

May A.J. rest in peace.

Chef Blythe Beck from Oxygen's The Naughty Chef - The reality shit show followed Chef Blythe as she cooks, bitches and eats her way through Dallas. Reader Rosina, who nominated Chef Blythe for HSOTD, had this to say about her ass: "This bitch needs to be Hot Slut of the Day. She is shaped like a square, swears like a sailor, and has the voice of a truck stop hooker that has smoked 3 packs a day for 30 years." So basically she's Miley Cyrus in 20 years?

Below is a clip of The Naughty Chef in action. If there's some wood in your house that needs sanding, put it near your speaker and Chef Blythe's sandpaper voice will smooth it out!

Clive Owen (47)
Ashlee Simpson (25)
Eric von Detten (27)
Shannyn Sossamon (31)
Jake Shears (31)
Sean William Scott (33)
India Arie (34)
Neve Campbell (36)
Lena Headey (36)
Kevin Richardson (38)
Gwen Stefani (40)
Janel Maloney (40)
Tommy Lee (47)
Al Sharpton (55)
Lindsey Buckingham (60)
Chubby Checker (68)
Gore Vidal (84)